Psychologists - how to dissociate a song from a person/memory? Watch

username2110825
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#1
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So here's the thing; I'm completely over the person this song is associated with. It's done and I'm not sad about it.

But for some reason, there's one song - it's called "Loss of Me", from Final Fantasy IX - and I can't not associate it with that person and seeing it played in concert with them.

Any advice? It doesn't make me sad, it just annoys me.
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Ccarst
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Good thread, Im in the same boat.
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doodle_333
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Try and make some new memories with that song?
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username2110825
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(Original post by doodle_333)
Try and make some new memories with that song?
Hm, that could work. What would you suggest? The concert probably won't be back for a while.

(Original post by Ccarst)
Good thread, Im in the same boat.
Ah, which is it for you? I hope it works out for you ^^
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StaffsUniDrew
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Maybe play it on repeat for a long time, and just listen to the song over and over again, until it means nothing? Like you become numb to it?
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username2110825
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(Original post by StaffsUniDrew)
Maybe play it on repeat for a long time, and just listen to the song over and over again, until it means nothing? Like you become numb to it?
That would be a brilliant idea save for the fact I'm a musician and am used to listening to music for hours without getting sick of them ^^' Thank you though!
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mcgreevy1993
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Personally, I think certain songs you'll always associate with ex's depending on the memories you share and the way you feel about the time you spent together - including the break up.

There's certain songs on my ipod (which is old and I haven't updated it in over a year) which i will always relate to my ex despite the fact I've been with my boyfriend over 2 years. There maybe songs he showed me, or songs I listened to when thinking about him, or songs I played after we ended things that I listened to help soothe the pain. We ended on good terms though, so I guess it doesn't matter much as they just bring back fond memories. And there memories I want to keep, because I generally enjoyed our time together and am happy we have stayed close.

With other ex's that I may not have ended so well on, over time when they stopped meaning so much to me as I moved on from the break up the songs did too. And they took on new meaning. I don't think you can physically dissociate yourself with songs about them - you could avoid listening to them, but eventually they just stopped being as relevant because that person has no relevance in your life.

For example, an ex that cheated on me, soon after the break up I would listen to certain songs that reminded me of him and cry - now i can listen to them and have no effect at all. Because hes so unimportant now.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by SkyRees)
Hm, that could work. What would you suggest? The concert probably won't be back for a while.



Ah, which is it for you? I hope it works out for you ^^
play at at parties and get togethers with friends?
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SoulfulTwist
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Make a new memory with it
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username2110825
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(Original post by doodle_333)
play at at parties and get togethers with friends?
That would require money and friends, but definitely a good idea!

(Original post by mcgreevy1993)
Personally, I think certain songs you'll always associate with ex's depending on the memories you share and the way you feel about the time you spent together - including the break up.

There's certain songs on my ipod (which is old and I haven't updated it in over a year) which i will always relate to my ex despite the fact I've been with my boyfriend over 2 years. There maybe songs he showed me, or songs I listened to when thinking about him, or songs I played after we ended things that I listened to help soothe the pain. We ended on good terms though, so I guess it doesn't matter much as they just bring back fond memories. And there memories I want to keep, because I generally enjoyed our time together and am happy we have stayed close.

With other ex's that I may not have ended so well on, over time when they stopped meaning so much to me as I moved on from the break up the songs did too. And they took on new meaning. I don't think you can physically dissociate yourself with songs about them - you could avoid listening to them, but eventually they just stopped being as relevant because that person has no relevance in your life.

For example, an ex that cheated on me, soon after the break up I would listen to certain songs that reminded me of him and cry - now i can listen to them and have no effect at all. Because hes so unimportant now.
I think I get ya. To be completely honest my first love passed away and I do still associate a load of songs with her and get sad, more so than this one - who cheated on me and all that. Your story does tell me a lot about how it goes when you have someone new though, so thank you
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username1726117
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I need to start playing the older Final Fantasy's.

Anyway, like others say, making new memories is the best. I've got a song on my phone associated with an ex and every time it plays when my music is on shuffle in the car I always seem to be going down the same road which has really beautiful scenery. I sing my lungs out.
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username2110825
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VII and IX are treasures everyone needs to play :')

Hahah, I kinda know what you mean. This one always plays near the same path I walk down, for some reason. Singing gets it out I suppose!
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Ccarst
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(Original post by SkyRees)
Hm, that could work. What would you suggest? The concert probably won't be back for a while.



Ah, which is it for you? I hope it works out for you ^^
An ex :console: I thought Doodle had a great idea :yep:
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username2110825
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(Original post by Ccarst)
An ex :console: I thought Doodle had a great idea :yep:
Aw dude But yeah, I'm sure you and I'll both get through it in time, with the right methods :console:
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Ccarst
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(Original post by SkyRees)
Aw dude But yeah, I'm sure you and I'll both get through it in time, with the right methods :console:
I agree :hugs: :console:
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RainMakesWhisky
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You replace it with stronger feelings and associations/memories. I used to associate a song with a girl I only met for one night but had a big impact on me. Then I started dating a guy and me and my friend used to always play it and sing it all the time to annoy him so it now reminds me of him instead.

Of course the original memory was a happy one and it didn't work out with the guy so the new memory just makes me feel sad. So maybe I'm not the best person to take advice from...


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username2110825
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(Original post by RainMakesWhisky)
You replace it with stronger feelings and associations/memories. I used to associate a song with a girl I only met for one night but had a big impact on me. Then I started dating a guy and me and my friend used to always play it and sing it all the time to annoy him so it now reminds me of him instead.

Of course the original memory was a happy one and it didn't work out with the guy so the new memory just makes me feel sad. So maybe I'm not the best person to take advice from...


Posted from TSR Mobile
Everyone's story is just another opportunity to learn; and hey, for a time, the new memory was a happy one that outclassed the sadness. If I were so lucky to ever find another lovely lass, perhaps the opportunity would arise then. Hell, maybe even play the game with them...I digress. Your advice helps
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