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Insults and Comebacks watch

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    Post any insults and your witty comebacks here! Just... don't insult each other - just give ideas...
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    The Winston Churchill (I think it was him anyway) one is the best, can't remember it exactly but here it goes:

    In the House of Commons

    Female MP: You're such an awful awful man

    WC: Is that so?

    Female MP: Yes, it is - if you're were my husband I'd slip poison in your tea

    WC: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it
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    (Original post by goldenbarnes)
    The Winston Churchill (I think it was him anyway) one is the best, can't remember it exactly but here it goes:

    In the House of Commons

    Female MP: You're such an awful awful man

    WC: Is that so?

    Female MP: Yes, it is - if you're were my husband I'd slip poison in your tea

    WC: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it
    oh yes iv heard that one i loved it!
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    Some ones from Will and Grace

    Jack: For your information, most people who meet me do not know that I am gay.
    Will: Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.
    Jack: Grace, when you first met me, did you know I was gay?
    Grace: My dog knew.

    Will: Owww.
    Grace: What?
    Will: Could we talk about your toenails?
    Grace: I'm sorry. I'll cut them.
    Will: Don't you need them for tree climbing and warding off predators?

    Will: Did you eat salami today?
    Grace: No. Did you wash your face with ugly soap?

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cher: Ya know dude, it is a little weird that you are talking to my doll.
    Jack: Um I don't think that I need a drag queen to define normal behavior. But I will say this, the look, is flawless.
    Cher: Whatever.
    Jack: Ohh. Working the attitude. OK, you're good.
    Cher: I've had a lot of practice.
    Jack: Hey hey. You're not that great Mister Sister. I do a better Cher than you.
    Cher: Ya think so?
    Jack: Actually it's "You think so, hooooooooooooooe"
    Cher: Are you kidding me with this?
    Jack: OK, the hand is perfect, but it's more "are you kidding me with this, hoooooooooooe"
    Cher: Get a life.
    [walks away then turns around]
    Cher: [sings] If I could turn back time.
    Jack: [clears throat to sing] If I could turn back time, hoooooooooooe. Time hoooooooe. Time hoooooe. Time hoooooe.
    Cher: Snap out of it.
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    (Original post by goldenbarnes)
    The Winston Churchill (I think it was him anyway) one is the best, can't remember it exactly but here it goes:

    In the House of Commons

    Female MP: You're such an awful awful man

    WC: Is that so?

    Female MP: Yes, it is - if you're were my husband I'd slip poison in your tea

    WC: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it
    That is brilliant
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    PS Reviewer
    Margot Fonteyne (sp) and Somebody Harlow were doing a film or something together. Ms Harlow kept mispronouncing Margot by saying the T.

    So Margot said "No, dear, the T is silent, as in Harlow"

    (Original post by goldenbarnes)
    The Winston Churchill (I think it was him anyway) one is the best, can't remember it exactly but here it goes:

    In the House of Commons

    Female MP: You're such an awful awful man

    WC: Is that so?

    Female MP: Yes, it is - if you're were my husband I'd slip poison in your tea

    WC: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it
    Woman - "You're drunk!"
    WC - "And you Madam, are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober."

    One of my personal faves...
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    (Original post by roseonthegrave)
    Woman - "You're drunk!"
    WC - "And you Madam, are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober."

    One of my personal faves...
    MOG - thats amazing - was that Churchill too then?

    (Original post by Chubb)
    MOG - thats amazing - was that Churchill too then?
    The wicked wit of Winston Churchill
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    (Original post by roseonthegrave)
    Woman - "You're drunk!"
    WC - "And you Madam, are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober."

    One of my personal faves...
    I was going to say this when I read your post earlier...:

    "I was going to say that one"

    But I forgot, so I'm saying it now... You got there first
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    Just watch Red Dwarf. Full of classic insults.
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    Churchill was known to drain a glass or two and, after one particularly convivial evening, he chanced to encounter Miss Bessie Braddock, a Socialist member of the House of Commons, who, upon seeing his condition, said, "Winston, you're drunk." Mustering all his dignity, Churchill drew himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined, "Shove it up your ass, you ugly c**t."
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    (Original post by goldenbarnes)
    The Winston Churchill (I think it was him anyway) one is the best, can't remember it exactly but here it goes:

    In the House of Commons

    Female MP: You're such an awful awful man

    WC: Is that so?

    Female MP: Yes, it is - if you're were my husband I'd slip poison in your tea

    WC: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it
    LOL, now that is funny
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    What would you say to someone who said " Up your arse, b*tch?
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    (Original post by ~independent~)
    What would you say to someone who said " Up your arse, b*tch?
    "Up my arse is where the sun doesn't shine. Up your arse, however, is where your head is."

    Or something along those lines...
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    A comeback:

    If I really wanted my comeback, I'd have to scrape it of your mum's lips/face/teeth
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    (Original post by Fleff)
    "Up my arse is where the sun doesn't shine. Up your arse, however, is where your head is."

    Or something along those lines...
    LOL, nice one
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    (Original post by Amrad)
    A comeback:

    If I really wanted my comeback, I'd have to scrape it of your mum's lips/face/teeth
    thats just wrong!
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    (Original post by Amrad)
    A comeback:

    If I really wanted my comeback, I'd have to scrape it of your mum's lips/face/teeth
    Lol! I really need to remember that!
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    Great isn't it
 
 
 
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