HELP: My social anxiety, no friends and more

I don't know what to do anymore, I guess this is the only place left to find some kind of solution. I'm just so damn tired of being alive, I sometimes wonder why I was given life in the first place, it seems stupid. I just wish I knew what to do, which is why i'm writing this on the odd chance somebody else has gone through this and came out somehow. Every day is the same old crap, I don't have any friends because of my social anxiety disorder. For 3 years i've had no social contact, no friends. And for god sake, i'm 18(soon 19) years old and don't even have a boyfriend, I doubt I ever will, I doubt i'll ever have any kind of relationship. Every day is just another day of being alone. I'm ok with just one person, but I hate being in groups. And to make matters worse I can't seem to find anybody with half a brain. I'm not being pretentious, thinking i'm just so above everybody, but everyone in my age group I can't relate to because they're so stupid. They can't think beyond smoking weed, drinking at parties, screeching around in their cars, picking up chicks, all that shallow crap. I feel like i'm 5 years ahead of everyone in my age group mentally, but of course people would think i'm just pretentious if I said that.

But what can I do? Isn't there somebody in the world who can think beyond the shallow, stupid teen mentallity? I'm so sick of being alone every waking second, but I don't know how to make friends, and I would be even more unhappy forcing myself into the typical sh*thead group. The only reason I don't die now is because of all the people i'd hurt in my family, but living seems so pointless now.

Reply 1

DabThruUni

Original post by Anonymous

Reply 2

The_JoKeR

That title is some next level click bait...

Reply 3

PocketSized

Your life is so not pointless! Evidently, from reading your post, you're a bright, educated young lady. Look at how far you've gotten, you're strong and independent for not following the crowd and I bet you've achieved some great GCSE's. Don't let your anxiety get in the way of your happiness and I know that's easy for me to say given I have no idea what it must be like for you. And life is worth it, you just probably haven't been able to experience many things. Like come on, exploring other people's culture, travelling the world and seeing what houses are like in different places, learning new skills from scratch, exploring things, being unique, creating your own personality, meeting new people, tasting foods you never knew existed! Don't feel alone cuz you're your greatest best friend. Enjoy doing things alone and being independent. If you're studying, focus on that but remain happy by not solely focusing on that. Whenever you want to talk and whatever you want to talk about, im here for you 😊😊 I'd love to hold your hand and make things better for you, even though I am only a stranger. Take care, beautiful and keep your chin up!!

Reply 4

will'o'wisp

Original post by Anonymous

U kno what's even better?

At my school the people around me do this and yet they still get better grades than me, it's just sad....

Reply 5

PocketSized

Also I know it can get irritating when you're surrounded by obnoxious, ignorant people, but try and get through it. At least you're eyes are open and you can see things the way they really are. I would like to think that I'm also a lot more mature than many my age, but I try to be realistic and think, well not everyone was raised like me, taught the same morals ad me and stuff. Plus, don't worry about relationships right now becauseit's likely that most lads our age arent as mature as us and the relationship wouldn't be meaningful. You'll meet the right person at some point, he's out there, just give him time to grow before he crosses your path ☺
And as for making friends, im here for you and that's a start! But you could maybe try to make friends outside of school, perhaps in your neighbourhood or at a local library or club you attend. It's likely that they aren't of the same mindset as the people you see everyday and that'll be good for you. Please show your name so that I can follow you and we can become great friends! ( won't reply for a while though, going offline now )

Reply 6

Bukalemun123

goddamn you are the 1 yr older opposite gender me.

Reply 7

PocketSized

Original post by Bukalemun123

goddamn you are the 1 yr older opposite gender me.

Well then my comments apply to you, too.

Reply 8

Analyst89

Yeah, their are men out there who are what you want them to be like.

Have you seen a therapist? They could help you with social anxiety.

I would suggest volunteering or going to some befriending service, you can learn social skills.

Be friendly, easy going, relax, listen, make eye contact, don't stare too much, smile. Be interested in others, be charming, ask how they are, ask how is their day, what they are up to, what their plans are for the day, week, how was their weekend, talk about their work, studies, hobbies.

Join clubs out of interest, you will find something in common with these people and can strike up a conversation on topics related to the club.

You could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs out interest, finding someone through work, your educational institution.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me :smile:

Reply 9

Recont

Been living in a town for 5+ years and do not know anyone here. Still alive.

Reply 10

orebach

Hi,
I second what "pocketsized" has said your life is not pointless. The fact that you have gotten to where you are in life despite your challenges shows to me how resilient you have been (PLS DO NOT GIVE UP FOR GOD SAKE). Your life is worth it.

I understand what you mean. I know some people grow and mature early enough than their peers, thus not been able to stand their peers behaviour.

I don't know what you are doing, But I would say if you are in uni or college, focus on what you are doing, try and take part in volunteering activities (in local communities where you can help to contribute to people's wellbeing or the progress of your community and therefore get appreciated for your service. This can help you to realise your worth and help you to meet more adults who are into the realities of life.You could also join societies in uni/ part-time job.

I mean I had the same problem last year in uni, I just felt depressed due to massive workload, project, and I could not tune in with anyone around me. But I am thankful for my faith and this guy I met in my uni's christian union society- he just encouraged me and was a blessing to me. Thank God I met him, in a short while my problems vanished, it was a miracle.

So encourage you to be optimistic, you are worth it. you just need to get yourself out to that place where you can meet a like minded friend and help contribute to the good and wellbeing of your community.

I am happy to help should you need anymore help with anything.

Thanks

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Thankyou to those who responded positively because every little helps.