How do I improve this exam question? (DNA)

Exam Question:
How does Dennis Kelly present John Tate as a leader?

I wrote:
John Tate is represented as a leader who rules by fear. When John Tate bans the word 'dead' after Lou and Danny keep repeating it. The audience get an aura of dictatorship over the two. John Tate then threatens them in order to feel in control, Danny and Lou then say nothing as a consequence of the threat meaning his leadership creates a sense of fear among the gang. This reflects the social hierarchy in society and how people will follow others in order to not be bullied or hurt by others. It creates a sense of security for young people and a sense of belonging.

John Tate then questions Danny and then asks him if he is on Richard's side or on his side. Richard says that they are "mates now," which suggests they have history which could mean they both fought for leadership before. This creates a sense of tension between the group. This reflects on young people who almost fight to be important or more powerful and in control to their peers.

Dennis Kelly represents John Tate as a leader who rules by fear. John Tate tells everyone he has been trying to keep everyone together and how things are better.
After John Tate says he has been keeping everyone together, Richard steps forward hesitantly which suggests Richard is confident but has a little fear perhaps he does not want to anger John Tate. Richard then provokes John Tate by questioning what will happen if he threatens him. John Tate asks Danny whose side he is on meaning he is trying to scare Danny into being on his side in order to make Richard feel small and less powerful.
This could reflect on society and bullies meaning bullies make other people feel inferior in order to make themselves feel like they are in control and more powerful. Dennis Kelly does this by Richard provoking John Tate and him then scaring Danny into being on his side.



(It was not my best answer but I would like to know how to improve. Thank you!)