Is it normal to feel this sexually frustrated?

and how to learn to deal with it?

I ask because I've struggled with these issues for several years, I am now in my 1st year of uni and in my mid twenties and it is becoming unbearable for me to deal with,

Anxiety, mostly social has been a big part of my life growing up, and is a major reason why I have started uni so late. I am not blaming sexual frustration as the primary cause of my difficulties, but I am 100% confident I would be in a much better place and happier in life if it wasn't a problem.

About two months ago, one of my housemates who lives on the floor above bought a girl back, had sex, and I could hear everything, this is not a problem for me, I have had sex a few times, however it's not something that happens a lot, and I won't lie, I felt jealous, inadequate and missing out on fun as it is something I think about a lot as a guy. I managed to blank it out before this, but this caused me to feel like a loser.
A few weeks later the same thing happened with a different girl involved, who was pretty hot. I have spoken to the guy a few times and didn't consider him as such a stud, which no offence to him, made me feel even worse.

I'd managed to control my porn use before this, but this started it off again and I find myself needing to use porn to deal with the frustration, which brings about self loathing, anxiety and more frustration; I won't lie since I have been home for Christmas I have been in quite a depressed head-space, and I feel guilty on my family, and have considered using the services of a call girl, but I worry it will only make things worse.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

As a result of this, I am feeling quite depressed, and not looking forward to going back to university in early January as it is over 150 miles away

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I have also used the university counselling service before I came home, and touched around the issues, but I was way too embarrassed to talk about this in detail, and worried they will keep what I say on record as I am on a NHS healthcare related course

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I guess there is no hope for me given that no one has replied :frown:

Anyone?

You seem like you want this too much, maybe try and focus on Uni/other things first. Then you'll never what might happen... it's worth putting yourself out there as much as possible though even if it might make you feel uncomfortable. Find clubs/bars or even try online "dating" apps like tinder etc.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

VaticanCameos

Also maybe try talk to other people at Uni (and maybe the counsellor again to see if that could help). Anything on record will be confidential.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

jaredmangco

I think you should pick up a new hobby. Personally i go to the gym or play any type of sport as it does release endorphins which could make you feel better about yourself. i dont think you should keep watching porn tho as it does not help and may cause to form an unhealthy obsession

Reply 8

unprinted

It's been the holidays and - shock - people have been on holiday, not on TSR.

Have you considered talking to him? Assuming he's not a complete *******, asking 'How do you manage to pick up like that?' might get an interesting answer.

Depending on how he does it, as with the next bit, you may or may not decide that the cost is too high.

Original post by Anonymous

have considered using the services of a call girl, but I worry it will only make things worse.