Why can I not find the right guy? :(

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
It really upsets me that I still have not found the right guy who is good enough to be my 'boyfriend'. I am nearly 19 years old and I have never been in a proper relationship. I have been on multiple dates and talked to a few guys here and there but it has never worked out. And in some cases it has really knocked my confidence. It sounds pathetic, but my dream is to be in a happy and loving relationship, but I really cannot see it happening because of how much I want it. I have been seeing this one guy recently who I really liked because of how nice and funny he was. But just as I was beginning to think that this could be a reality, I find out he has got a baby on the way with some other girl who he had a one night stand with. And he wasn't even going to tell me. It just destroys my confidence that there will ever be a guy out there who will actually be honest and love me for me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can meet someone nice? All of my friends pretty much are in relationships so it must be possible.
Please please please help me, I would be so grateful!
Thank you!
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JooW
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#2
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#2
As hard, and counterproductive as it sounds, let a guy come to you. You sound nice enough and so most guys would be very lucky to have you. Rather than chasing them, take a bit of time and let them find you; it'll be a lot more natural
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username1229433
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#3
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#3
Tbh, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

Don't force a relationship and don't chase for one either. Don't even think about it. Just go with the flow and it will come when you least expect it.


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prazzyjazzy
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#4
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#4
Maybe you just haven't found the right girl

Or maybe you're too blinded by the idea of this perfect guy that you have that you don't open yourself up to more opportunities. The people above me have pretty much summed up what you should do. Just surround yourself with friends and positive people to work on your confidence and learn to connect with people. Think deep, strong connections and not vast, shallow ones.
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EdwardBarfield9
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#5
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#5
Same here. 19, had two relationships. One which I was the rebound guy and the other which was long distance. feel free to PM if you want to talk.
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Tiger Rag
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#6
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#6
You're only 19. Don't worry about it.
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CleverSquirrel
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
It really upsets me that I still have not found the right guy who is good enough to be my 'boyfriend'. I am nearly 19 years old and I have never been in a proper relationship. I have been on multiple dates and talked to a few guys here and there but it has never worked out. And in some cases it has really knocked my confidence. It sounds pathetic, but my dream is to be in a happy and loving relationship, but I really cannot see it happening because of how much I want it. I have been seeing this one guy recently who I really liked because of how nice and funny he was. But just as I was beginning to think that this could be a reality, I find out he has got a baby on the way with some other girl who he had a one night stand with. And he wasn't even going to tell me. It just destroys my confidence that there will ever be a guy out there who will actually be honest and love me for me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can meet someone nice? All of my friends pretty much are in relationships so it must be possible.
Please please please help me, I would be so grateful!
Thank you!
to be very honest with you, the right guy will pop up when you're least expecting it! :yep: you wont even realise it!

dont let some guy who's been playing you mess your confidence, i know its easy to say, but it's true, ive been in the same kind of position as you before, i was with this guy two years ago, thought everything was perfect, the night i was going to tell him that i loved him and was ready to sleep with him, found out he was cheating on me....with my best friend.... it broke me, i was shattered. it threw my confidence out of the window and makes you feel really crappy- i understand what you mean by the whole trust thing to- you find it harder to trust people BUT, you learn from it, take what all your past experiances have taught you and use them to help you built a new relationship!

but tbh- the more you go out and just put yourself out there, you'll meet more people, see you guys in you rlife too, even if it means you have to put on the confidence, you'll find yourself talking to more people and getting too know them too! youre only 18, live a little and have fun- dont let guys interefere with that!

feel free to PM me
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Angry Bird
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#8
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mate your only 19 :laugh:
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ChickenMadness
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
It really upsets me that I still have not found the right guy who is good enough to be my 'boyfriend'. I am nearly 19 years old and I have never been in a proper relationship. I have been on multiple dates and talked to a few guys here and there but it has never worked out. And in some cases it has really knocked my confidence. It sounds pathetic, but my dream is to be in a happy and loving relationship, but I really cannot see it happening because of how much I want it. I have been seeing this one guy recently who I really liked because of how nice and funny he was. But just as I was beginning to think that this could be a reality, I find out he has got a baby on the way with some other girl who he had a one night stand with. And he wasn't even going to tell me. It just destroys my confidence that there will ever be a guy out there who will actually be honest and love me for me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can meet someone nice? All of my friends pretty much are in relationships so it must be possible.
Please please please help me, I would be so grateful!
Thank you!
Same lmao.
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username1726117
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#10
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#10
It takes time, and 19 isn't really though old. Many people now-a-days aren't starting to date until their 20's.

Besides, better to find the right guy than the wrong one. Be patient and good things will come.
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SonoLuma
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#11
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(Original post by Tiger Rag)
You're only 19. Don't worry about it.
My thoughts exactly lol
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Analyst89
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#12
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#12
You're only 19. Be patient, you have plenty of time to find the right guy, better to be patient finding the right guy.

Lots of my family members and friends did not end up in a good relationship until their mid-late 20s and it does take time to find someone you like.

You could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs out of interest, etc.
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999tigger
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
It really upsets me that I still have not found the right guy who is good enough to be my 'boyfriend'. I am nearly 19 years old and I have never been in a proper relationship. I have been on multiple dates and talked to a few guys here and there but it has never worked out. And in some cases it has really knocked my confidence. It sounds pathetic, but my dream is to be in a happy and loving relationship, but I really cannot see it happening because of how much I want it. I have been seeing this one guy recently who I really liked because of how nice and funny he was. But just as I was beginning to think that this could be a reality, I find out he has got a baby on the way with some other girl who he had a one night stand with. And he wasn't even going to tell me. It just destroys my confidence that there will ever be a guy out there who will actually be honest and love me for me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can meet someone nice? All of my friends pretty much are in relationships so it must be possible.
Please please please help me, I would be so grateful!
Thank you!

Trying too hard. you are only 19. Plenty of time yet. Apart from the real deal breakers, such as liars/ violent/ racists/ selfish people, then have an open mind.

Trying too hard can come across as desparate. Value yourself and what you have to offer.
Make the most of yourself/ dont cake make up on.
Work on your own self esteem and personal happiness- it becomes less impornat then and you become more attractive.
Look in the right places, but not too hard.

Dont forget the vast majority of relationships are going to fail, so chillout.
One of the most importnat skills that will save you a lot of hassle is learning to read people to sort out the good from the bad.
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l'etranger
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#14
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#14
There is no right guy, only the right perception.
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Polka_Specs
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It really upsets me that I still have not found the right guy who is good enough to be my 'boyfriend'. I am nearly 19 years old and I have never been in a proper relationship. I have been on multiple dates and talked to a few guys here and there but it has never worked out. And in some cases it has really knocked my confidence. It sounds pathetic, but my dream is to be in a happy and loving relationship, but I really cannot see it happening because of how much I want it. I have been seeing this one guy recently who I really liked because of how nice and funny he was. But just as I was beginning to think that this could be a reality, I find out he has got a baby on the way with some other girl who he had a one night stand with. And he wasn't even going to tell me. It just destroys my confidence that there will ever be a guy out there who will actually be honest and love me for me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can meet someone nice? All of my friends pretty much are in relationships so it must be possible.
Please please please help me, I would be so grateful!
Thank you!
The feeling is pretty much the same for us guys.

Yeah a relationship would be nice , mostly for the love and intimacy. However I'm worried that my niceness is coming off as scary and that I have to be some sort of jack the lad type in order to get a girl.

Feel free to DM
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Goaded
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#16
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#16
Just buy a dog, much better company
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PureDragon
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
It really upsets me that I still have not found the right guy who is good enough to be my 'boyfriend'. I am nearly 19 years old and I have never been in a proper relationship. I have been on multiple dates and talked to a few guys here and there but it has never worked out. And in some cases it has really knocked my confidence. It sounds pathetic, but my dream is to be in a happy and loving relationship, but I really cannot see it happening because of how much I want it. I have been seeing this one guy recently who I really liked because of how nice and funny he was. But just as I was beginning to think that this could be a reality, I find out he has got a baby on the way with some other girl who he had a one night stand with. And he wasn't even going to tell me. It just destroys my confidence that there will ever be a guy out there who will actually be honest and love me for me.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can meet someone nice? All of my friends pretty much are in relationships so it must be possible.
Please please please help me, I would be so grateful!
Thank you!
I know what you mean, every person I seem to catch feelings for just seems to be a disappointment and question why I bother in the first place. I don't want a fling I want someone who actually cares Drop me a PM if you want to chat or if you find a solution to your problem to help me!
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Pinkberry_y
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#18
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#18
in b4 he's in your friend zone right now
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