Uni in September (aaand relationships)

Heya,
So, you know when people say "uni will be the best time of your life", and I've never really had many friends, and I've never been in a relationship.

If I mention that at uni, will I be considered weird? I'm a guy, and I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had female friends. I feel like most people by the time they go to uni, they've been in at least one relationship.

It's not like I don't want a relationship, it's more like I'm horrendously ugly (no, I'm not fat or whatever the societal constants are), and not really good at making friends, especially talking to females, my brain just switches off and I don't have anything to say, so I basically just go "uhhhhhhhhhhhh....".

So, how do I go around that in uni, or people just won't care?

Reply 1

claireestelle

22

Original post by mfpx

Heya,
So, you know when people say "uni will be the best time of your life", and I've never really had many friends, and I've never been in a relationship.

If I mention that at uni, will I be considered weird? I'm a guy, and I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had female friends. I feel like most people by the time they go to uni, they've been in at least one relationship.

It's not like I don't want a relationship, it's more like I'm horrendously ugly (no, I'm not fat or whatever the societal constants are), and not really good at making friends, especially talking to females, my brain just switches off and I don't have anything to say, so I basically just go "uhhhhhhhhhhhh....".

So, how do I go around that in uni, or people just won't care?

most people really wont care :smile:

there ll be plenty of people who havent had any serious relationships before.

Nah it won't matter

Original post by mfpx

Heya,
So, you know when people say "uni will be the best time of your life", and I've never really had many friends, and I've never been in a relationship.

If I mention that at uni, will I be considered weird? I'm a guy, and I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had female friends. I feel like most people by the time they go to uni, they've been in at least one relationship.

It's not like I don't want a relationship, it's more like I'm horrendously ugly (no, I'm not fat or whatever the societal constants are), and not really good at making friends, especially talking to females, my brain just switches off and I don't have anything to say, so I basically just go "uhhhhhhhhhhhh....".

So, how do I go around that in uni, or people just won't care?

Obviously you want friends and sex. Everyone does, and those who don't are lying.

The question is - are you ready to challenge yourself (not anyone else) to change your life from how it currently is?

If you are, it's fairly certain that you will have at some point or another what you are looking for.

Reply 4

mfpx

OP

12

Original post by Trinculo

Obviously you want friends and sex. Everyone does, and those who don't are lying.

The question is - are you ready to challenge yourself (not anyone else) to change your life from how it currently is?

If you are, it's fairly certain that you will have at some point or another what you are looking for.

Feel free to call me a liar, I want friends, but not intercourse, as I've got absolutely no interest in it. I also want a relationship, nice things that come with it, I don't want to "use" the person for intercourse, because that's just wrong.

Reply 5

Trinculo

21

Original post by mfpx

Feel free to call me a liar, I want friends, but not intercourse, as I've got absolutely no interest in it. I also want a relationship, nice things that come with it, I don't want to "use" the person for intercourse, because that's just wrong.

Fine. You're a liar.

You've got a head full of porn and want to have an enormous amount of sex, but you just don't see a way of getting any. You'd like to have a girlfriend, and you think that the way to achieve this is to make like you're not that interested in sex.

It's a flawed strategy.

My genuine, heartfelt advice to you is to become an honest person with yourself, and present yourself socially at university accordingly.

Reply 6

mfpx

OP

12

I know there's no point in arguing with someone who already thinks they "know" the other person, but honestly:

You. Are. Wrong =]

That's all

As for porn, I've got a good enough imagination, so me watching pornography is a rare thing.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

Trinculo

21

Original post by mfpx

I know there's no point in arguing with someone who already thinks they "know" the other person, but honestly:

You. Are. Wrong =]

That's all

As for porn, I've got a good enough imagination, so me watching pornography is a rare thing.

You said feel free to call you a liar. So I did.

Here's the thing about students, people, TSR and so on - so many people think they're different, imponderable, an unknown quantity. But they're very often not. Most people are the same old same old.

You've said yourself that you watch (some) pornography and think about sex. Nothing wrong with that. But now try to square that with your statement that you have no interest in it. You can't.

This isn't about catching you out, or semantics or anything. It's about answering your original question. If you want to have friends and have a good time at university - the key to that is to be honest with yourself and decide whether or not you're going to go out and get/do the things you really want, or if you're going to try and enforce some kind of weird behavioural code on yourself that you think is "right", regardless of what you actually want.

Reply 8

Zarek

21

So loads of people are in the same boat. Part of the uni experience, alongside academic development, is to develop your social skills. So pack your best kit, join a few interesting societies, go to a few house parties and get practicing. It'll be fine.

Uni in September (aaand relationships)

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