HELP? Dropping out for my boyfriend?!

Hi, I am a first year at university, my boyfriend has said if I don't drop out next year (2nd year) we aren't going to work.

He has told me that me being at university is very hard for him, as he has not got many friends. He has said he can't do this again and if I continue with my degree he cannot see us working. Please help me I am torn.

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Reply 1

Pinkberry_y

Original post by Anonstudent96

ABORT MISSION NOW.
What the hell are you thinking compromising your future for this guy?
Being at university is HARD FOR HIM? Can he stop being so selfish and be HAPPY for YOU maybe? Tonnes of couples do long distance relationships and they survive just fine. You two can't be in each other's pockets all the time.
He's doesn't have many friends? You dropping out of university will NOT solve this. He needs to work on his social skills. HIS issue.

Trust me girl it will be a BLESSING if you two break up, you do not need to be tied down to such a deadbeat.

Reply 2

UWS

Your degree would be priority here. It sounds like he's pressuring you to drop out of university for him and I don't think that's really a good sign. Can you not work out a compromise or something? Why can't it work if you go to university?

Sounds like he is being controlling here...

Reply 3

Joep95

Run away from that relationship

Reply 4

FatherTime

Is this even a question. Dump him. Your future is way more important!!
Hell maybe he is expecting you to choose uni over him and this is his way of ending you guys guilt free. Thought of that?
Either way. He sounds selfish, you will never been able to get anywhere you want with him always holding you back, trust me.

Reply 5

999tigger

Original post by Anonstudent96

You be crazy. No Bf who tries this sort of blackmail on a gf is a bf worth having.

Do not do it .

Most relationships do not survive Uni anyway.

You will have many bfs probably between 5 and 15 before you get married.

Most people only go to uni once.

He is selfish and isnt looking out for your best interests. Maybe he is just being realistic and letting you know it wont survive, but he shouldnt be giving you an ultimatum to leave.

Absolutely clear 100% let him go and find someone else. It will be a 99% big mistake and regret if you quit because of this.

Reply 6

username1339858_

You got this far. So you don't get a degree now? What's the logic behind you dropping your degree to be with him? There doesn't seem to be a genuine reason, just his lack of friends :confused:

Reply 7

indigofox

Well the more control of your life you have the better. Besides the fact your bf wants you to do what he wants rather than what you want, quitting uni is a bad idea as it gives you less control/options over life. A qualification is forever but relationships are much more fickle, it can be over whenever he (or you) decide to end it.

Reply 8

username2954698

Original post by UWS

Your profile picture couldn't be more appropriate for this hahahaha

Reply 9

Sparkle2

Original post by Anonstudent96

DO NOT drop out because of your boyfriend. If he is finding it hard that's his problem and he needs to deal with it not guilt you into leaving university because of it. If you drop out because he wants you to then that also sends the message that a) university never meant much to you in the first place and b) that your boyfriend will be able to get you to do what he wants when things aren't going as he would like.

At the end of the day it's your decision but I think you'll regret it if your drop out because of him.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 10

l'etranger

This is insane, frankly you should be dumping him for even having the audacity to make such a suggestion.

Reply 11

MoonlightBoo

Original post by Anonstudent96

Why would you even consider that? If he even respected you, let alone loved you, he'd only want what's best for your future and support you through everything. You've spent all that money, effort and time. DONT WASTE IT LIKE TRASH FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND OMG GIRL LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF GET REALLLLLLL

Also why is it such a problem to him that you're at uni?

Reply 12

l'etranger

I frankly can't see how a woman could even love a guy who in essence says ''I'm so much of a loser who has no life I have to also bring my girl down to my level.'' It shocks me that such a person even exists.

Reply 13

john2054

Original post by Anonstudent96

Dump him already.

Reply 14

Miser101

Original post by Anonstudent96

Dump him, he clearly has no regard for your career/future and this maybe a recurring theme of his lack of care for you. Plenty more fish in the sea.

Reply 15

1secondsofvamps

Tf you're actually considering this? It's a no brainer, your degree is more important than a relationship. The fact that he's even thinking of dumping you just because of this shows he's not that good of a boyfriend.

Do. Not. Drop. Out.

I hate to be rude, but you can't be serious... even objectively speaking, this guy sounds incredibly selfish. He's giving you an ultimatum between him (doing what he says/wants and fulfilling his needs over yours) or your education and future. You never know who's permanently in your life and dropping out of school, sacrificing possible opportunities and an education, is a very bad decision imo. If he truly cared about you, even if you being in school was difficult for him at times, he'd still support your decision to pursue an education.

Being in any relationship means you sometimes need to go through hardships together. If he can't deal and asks you to drop out for him and withholds the relationship because you want to go to school, maybe it's best to distance yourself and look at the situation with what's best for you in mind. Like others have said, you already made it this far. Don't throw it out for someone else. If he's worth it, you both will work through it together, and he wouldn't ask that of you in the first place tbh.

Reply 18

Muttley79

Original post by Anonstudent96

He should be proud that you are at uni - not asking you to leave. I know a lot of people whose relationships survived uni or 'separation' after one of them graduated.

Please continue your studies :smile:

Reply 19

calm down

A couple of key points to make here:
1. Relationships are built on compromise- he's given you an ultimatum (not good).
2. In relationships you need to be able to have your own social life and independence to some degree. You never know what could happen- he's reliant on you (not good).
I think he will learn from it if you pair break up- it also won't hurt as much as you may think it will be the sound of it.