How to talk to crush without seeming selfish?

I have recently developed a massive crush on a friend. I know she has no feelings for me. If i tell her I have developed a crush and that me spending time with her is kinda upsetting me so I think i need to avoid her. Will I come across as super selfish/rude like im basically saying her friendship is not enough?

Im not trying to come across as an ass. It's just that it is really starting to upset me when she talks about other guys and stuff and I don't think she even realises.

Reply 1

UWS

21

You want to be more than friends and it probably hurts you that you're "just friends". How do you know she has no feelings for you though? Has she told you this herself?

If you can't handle just being friends then don't be friends. Don't force yourself and end up getting hurt.

Reply 2

Chicken.M.

20

nothing wrong with that

Reply 3

username2908878

20

Yeah ,if you're certain it's not gonna go in 'that' direction, it'll be better for you to just cut all ties for the moment . It'll just be painful for you to watch , maybe sometime in the future you'll be okay with it , but for now don't put yourself through it xxxx

Reply 4

Abdukazam

2

Run away like her dad did. Return 3 years later in mysterious conditions and profit

Works everytime

Reply 5

SilverWings

14

You don't need to say *anything*. It is kinda selfish of you to make a big song and dance about "I don't think I can be around you as much anymore".

Just... don't be around her so much anymore. Just drift. It's easy, it's natural, and you won't be making her feel obligated to feel sad about your position/do something about it.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Cheers guys your advice has actually helped a lot, I think not saying anything and just avoiding her is the best option even if it seems really hard right now.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by UWS

You want to be more than friends and it probably hurts you that you're "just friends". How do you know she has no feelings for you though? Has she told you this herself?

If you can't handle just being friends then don't be friends. Don't force yourself and end up getting hurt.

Its really kinda complicated but she acts much more secual with other people than with me, and she has a habbit about talking about and asking advice about other boys with me.

I think i am just gonna have to accept that I cant handle being in the friend zone and try to avoid her without telling her why or seeming rude.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

OMG I fancy my guy friend, but not 100% sure that he fancies me! You know just tell her your feelings. She might consider going on a date, you never know.

Reply 9

MathsAndCoffee

10

She already has the assumption that you're only friends and nothing more. If you were to express feelings of having a relationship she'll distance herself from you.

Reply 10

username5619822

13

Original post by Anonymous

I have recently developed a massive crush on a friend. I know she has no feelings for me. If i tell her I have developed a crush and that me spending time with her is kinda upsetting me so I think i need to avoid her. Will I come across as super selfish/rude like im basically saying her friendship is not enough?

Im not trying to come across as an ass. It's just that it is really starting to upset me when she talks about other guys and stuff and I don't think she even realizes.

No I don’t think it will. She seems like a nice gal and I reckon if she finds out she won’t get upset. You can tell her if you’d like but if you’re uncomfortable with it that’s ok too.

How to talk to crush without seeming selfish?

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