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My former flame has a new girlfriend and I can't deal with it Watch

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    So I dated this guy for only a few months a while ago. I know that doesn't sound very significant but it was one of those super intense uni relationships where things move real fast as you're living in halls. I think I fell in love with him and I never really got over it when he suddenly ended things with me. I spent MONTHS analying everything in my head and trying to work out what I did wrong. It got to the point where I'd wake up and cry every day and I didn't want anything to do with any other guy.

    i also stopped eating and going to lectures, I used to be a 'fun' girl but so much of my personality got washed away. I used to have a lot of friends, but now I barely have any because I just couldn't act happy and I didn't want to ever do anything.

    My personal tutor called me aside one day as she was concerned as I didn't look like I'd been taking care if myself and one of my housemates had voiced concern.


    Eventually I started to get a bit better, i came home and started eating better, memories of him started to fade and he stopped being the first thing I thought of when I woke up.

    That was, until I found out he has a new girlfriend.

    It made me realise I haven't moved forward at all since him, I've been on two dates but neither went anywhere as as soon as I was comparing the guys to him the whole time. And yet he moved on effortlessly
    I just feel so worthless. Like he just completely used me!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I dated this guy for only a few months a while ago. I know that doesn't sound very significant but it was one of those super intense uni relationships where things move real fast as you're living in halls. I think I fell in love with him and I never really got over it when he suddenly ended things with me. I spent MONTHS analying everything in my head and trying to work out what I did wrong. It got to the point where I'd wake up and cry every day and I didn't want anything to do with any other guy.

    i also stopped eating and going to lectures, I used to be a 'fun' girl but so much of my personality got washed away. I used to have a lot of friends, but now I barely have any because I just couldn't act happy and I didn't want to ever do anything.

    My personal tutor called me aside one day as she was concerned as I didn't look like I'd been taking care if myself and one of my housemates had voiced concern.


    Eventually I started to get a bit better, i came home and started eating better, memories of him started to fade and he stopped being the first thing I thought of when I woke up.

    That was, until I found out he has a new girlfriend.

    It made me realise I haven't moved forward at all since him, I've been on two dates but neither went anywhere as as soon as I was comparing the guys to him the whole time. And yet he moved on effortlessly
    I just feel so worthless. Like he just completely used me!
    He basically used you for sex by the sounds of it, chances are he is doing the same to this next girl. Only got into a relationship so he could get sex. But you need to forget him either way, focus on yourself.
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    Look, I feel you, I know it hurts, I know your emotions are a pain in the ass, but...

    YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG, GIRL! MAKE THE MOST OUT OF THE UNI EXPERIENCE AND DON'T LET THIS MORON DEFINE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND HAPPINESS. YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AND START SMILING AGAIN OR IT'S GOING TO BE TOO LATE..AND YOU GRADUATE AND YOU REALIZE THAT ALL YOU DID BACK IN THE DAY WAS CRYING AND AVOIDING ACTUAL COOL PEOPLE BECAUSE OF A SINGLE STUPID GUY.
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    This sounds really awful but guys aren't everything! Us girls waste so much time trying to impress guys and just get completely thrown away, messed around, or led on. If this guy was a genuinely decent guy, who was worth your time, he wouldn't have just dumped you. Try writing a list of all his bad qualities and realise how horrible he actually is
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    (Original post by laurab21)
    Us girls waste so much time trying to impress guys and just get completely thrown away, messed around, or led on.
    Or, ya'know, actually go for decent guys rather than ones which aren't worth your time to begin with. :rolleyes::rolleyes:


    OP:

    Breakups suck, and we all deal with them in different ways. It doesn't matter how intense the relationship was or how long you were together, it meant something to you and when that thing goes ahead it is bound to hurt. Post break-up about almost four years in a relationship I lost 30lb, couldn't sleep for weeks, shook all over, severely depressed etc. Sometimes we just have to go through the motions in order to come out stronger by the end of it.

    Best thing to do is, as much as possible, stay out of his life and don't keep up-to-date with what he's doing. Think of your breakup like a wound that needs to heal; every time you seek out or find information to do with him, you are stabbing yourself and reopening the wound.

    Chin up, push forward, it'll get better in the end. Trust me.

    We're here for you.
 
 
 
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