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Will you change your name if you get married? Watch

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    Me and my boyfriend of 6 years are at each others throats about this on a regular basis. I don't understand the need for me to change my name when I get married. Personally I think its a massively outdated tradition that I shouldn't have to adhere to. I don't understand why I am expected to shed something to important to my identity just because its 'what everyone does'. My boyfriend on the other hand thinks it shows unity and closeness, he point blank refuses the thought of marriage if I wont take his name. Not only this but he says his family would be offended especially his grandparents. Am I being insensitive to his feelings by refusing? I am anything but a feminist this part of life just doesn't sit right with me.
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    (Original post by LuceB)
    Me and my boyfriend of 6 years are at each others throats about this on a regular basis. I don't understand the need for me to change my name when I get married. Personally I think its a massively outdated tradition that I shouldn't have to adhere to. I don't understand why I am expected to shed something to important to my identity just because its 'what everyone does'. My boyfriend on the other hand thinks it shows unity and closeness, he point blank refuses the thought of marriage if I wont take his name. Not only this but he says his family would be offended especially his grandparents. Am I being insensitive to his feelings by refusing? I am anything but a feminist this part of life just doesn't sit right with me.
    You could take both?
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    I am married.

    And I am still called Roger.

    Not the best first name, but I didn't think marriage was sufficient reason to change it.
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    In answer to your question:

    1) No, because I'm never getting married, I see it as pretty pointless.

    2) My surname's just too awesome to change.
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    For me, it depends what it is. Some names just don't go together.
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    (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
    You could take both?
    Not something he will consider either as I think that if i'm double barrelling then he should have to also.
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    (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
    'I'm anything but a feminist' an idiot then?

    In answer to your question:

    1) No, because I'm never getting married, I see it as pretty pointless.

    2) My surname's just too awesome to change.
    are you calling me an idiot?

    Maybe my surnames to great to change
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    I'm getting married in July and I'm keeping my maiden name but adding my partner's name to make my surname double barrelled. I was never really keen on double barrelled names but I am really close to my grandpa and he's been my dad pretty much all my life and I am the last 'kid' left in my family with the name since my mum is now married and has a new surname and I'm an only child so I wanted to keep my original surname for homage to my grandpa but also take my partner's name and I feel like by taking both names, I am still remaining a part of my birth family yet also gaining in a place in a few family.

    There's no right or wrong thing to do when it comes to changing your name when you ger married, I personally believe it should be up to the person who intends to change their name or not, which is usually the woman (when it comes to heterosexual relationships at least) and they should never be pressurised into taking a name if they don't want to. My partner was ok with me changing my name or not, he wasn't fussed either way.
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    (Original post by LuceB)
    are you calling me an idiot?

    Maybe my surnames to great to change
    You said 'anything'.

    Tell him then.
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    It depends what his last name is !

    I'm already double barrelled though , so I can't add another on
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    (Original post by LuceB)
    Me and my boyfriend of 6 years are at each others throats about this on a regular basis.
    The start of a healthy marriage.
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    Keeping my name ofc
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    (Original post by LuceB)
    Not something he will consider either as I think that if i'm double barrelling then he should have to also.
    Well, it does seem tricky. You don't want to lose years of relationship over something as silly as a surname. You have to plainly ask him whats more important, your actual relationship, or a surname.
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    You don't need to lose your last name. Could you not just hyphenate and combine them both ?
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    Yeah if I got married I would definitely change my name. I think if I didn't change it, it would show disrespect to the husband and show that I dont love him as much as other couples who have changed their name.
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    What's so bad about his name? Is it Acula and you're a Doctor?

    No one will get it.


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    (Original post by macromicro)
    The start of a healthy marriage.
    Every relationship is different. Wouldn't have lasted so long if our arguments had a lasting effect
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    (Original post by ChrisD0)
    What's so bad about his name? Is it Acula and you're a Doctor?

    No one will get it.


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    Dr Acula love it

    Nothing at all its as bog standard and as basic as my own. I just think it unnecessary
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    I expect my wife to take my name, if I ever decide to get married. Which I'm not sure about.
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    (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
    'I'm anything but a feminist' an idiot then?
    you realise that those that insist that the traditional dictionary definition of "feminism" still applying are those that are severely out of touch with the feminist movement or running damage control for the fact that most feminists now are actually against equality? do you understand that the descriptions of words change over time based on their reception? does the word "liberal" mean what it once did 200 years ago? does the word "nice" mean "silly" even though that was the meaning of that word hundreds and hundreds of years ago in the english language? so if you saw a person calling a "pleasant" person "nice" would you give them a bloody good lecturing about how rude they've been? no? so why would you do it here when the word "feminism", descriptively (not prescriptively) means "a movement whereby women try and degrade men and blame them for any kind of short coming of women"? that's literally what it is. they don't want equality or else why do they never stand up for *any* innocent men? they will defend women who falsely accuse men of rape and base it on things like "oh she was clearly mentally sick" while the man wouldn't even be morally relevant to them. "equality" my ****ing ass. if feminism means equality then that would literally mean that all feminists by definition are mens' rights activists! I suppose they'll be happy to learn about this logic! dictionary definitions are magical!
 
 
 
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