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Will you change your name if you get married? Watch

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    I would probably keep my own name. Or double barrel or something. Someone in my family needs to finally achieve something good with this name.
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    I'm a guy and I wouldn't really care what my wife did with her name tbh. Might even take hers if it sounds cooler than mine

    It could easily be argued that marriage is a massively outdated tradition that you shouldn't have to do just because "it's what everyone does". If you're doing one relatively pointless tradition already there's no real argument for you not going all out.
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      (Original post by RegrettingAS)
      Yeah if I got married I would definitely change my name. I think if I didn't change it, it would show disrespect to the husband and show that I dont love him as much as other couples who have changed their name.
      You're a cretin, good luck in life lmao
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      No. I like my last name.
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      why are you at each others throats? you're in control of your OWN life and need to answer to no one. you don't want to change it - you won't

      its as simple as that. whats he going to do - leave you??
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      You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'm still considering whether I will change my name if I get married or not. I certainly won't let anyone bully me into accepting their name - I've had my surname all my life and I've grown quite attached to it, so I'll decide if I want to keep it or not. Maybe my husband can take my surname
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      My boyfriend and I have been talking about this and have both found the idea of combining both of our last names the best one.
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      He's being a bit selfish if he cannot accept your decision, quite rude actually. For me personally I don't have an attachment to my surname because I'm not close with my dad so I'd change it to my husband's name.
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      (Original post by Sternumator)
      I don't believe men and women are the same.

      (Original post by Sternumator)
      But I like to know that if we do reach an impasse on an important issue, ultimately, my way goes.

      That is why she can't keep her name or hyphenate because it would be a rejection of my authority.

      (Original post by Sternumator)
      The desire to be an alpha male and to be control of the direction of the family exists to varying degrees in most men. That is why for most men the idea of taking a woman's name is a unthinkable. There is no point pretending it is not a power thing because it is.

      ... Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this behaviour genuinely unsettling.
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      (Original post by cherryred90s)
      You don't have to be married to change your name, js
      Yeah but I want to have the same name as my partner anyway. No point doing it twice.
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      (Original post by LuceB)
      Me and my boyfriend of 6 years are at each others throats about this on a regular basis. I don't understand the need for me to change my name when I get married. Personally I think its a massively outdated tradition that I shouldn't have to adhere to. I don't understand why I am expected to shed something to important to my identity just because its 'what everyone does'. My boyfriend on the other hand thinks it shows unity and closeness, he point blank refuses the thought of marriage if I wont take his name. Not only this but he says his family would be offended especially his grandparents. Am I being insensitive to his feelings by refusing? I am anything but a feminist this part of life just doesn't sit right with me.
      I think the same. It is an outdated tradition to change the surname and accept the husband's one. I would accept it, if my future wife does not want to change her name. Being together with a women I really love is the main point, the surname is secondary in this concern.
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      I want to double barrel mine or hyphen it to make one single surname.

      The only problem with double barrel names is that if everyone starts doing it, after a few generations people with have really long surnames lol
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      I would hope that my future wife would take my surname and if I was a woman I would be happy to, it is a tradition and I like it. but each to their own.
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      Well, I'm a guy and I'd consider changing my surname if/when I get married
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      If these types of things matter to you so much, discuss it early on in the relationship. If they're not on the same page, then you just have to move on. Spending 6 years on someone who won't even compromise on something that is so important to you can be tough. Someone's feelings will be hurt/opinion not respected. Best case scenario is double-barreling but if he won't do that either, you just have to ask yourself whether it matters to you so much you would leave him for this reason (or if you wouldn't). Same interests/hobbies don't matter half as much as morals, core values and outlook on life.

      I may or may not change. I love my surname as it's what gives me a 'cool' nickname and my whole name is unique but I still end up with a cool nickname if I change it after marriage.. taking after one of my favourite medical drama characters.
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      (Original post by years101)
      You're a cretin, good luck in life lmao
      Are the billions of people who have also changed surnames after marriage "cretins"?
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      (Original post by AperfectBalance)
      I would hope that my future wife would take my surname and if I was a woman I would be happy to, it is a tradition and I like it. but each to their own.
      I would love to what you like on this tradition exactly. Would you like this tradition, if it were vice versa in the past?
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      (Original post by Kallisto)
      I would love to what you like on this tradition exactly. Would you like this tradition, if it were vice versa in the past?
      Yes I would not mind, I feel if it is a continuation of my ancestors and traditions do not always have to really have a logical/good reason
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      (Original post by AperfectBalance)
      Yes I would not mind, I feel if it is a continuation of my ancestors and traditions do not always have to really have a logical/good reason
      I see that you have a traditional attitude on this. I personally would break with it under certain circumstances. The first one is the will of the women, the second one the Asians.
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      (Original post by sleepysnooze)
      you realise that those that insist that the traditional dictionary definition of "feminism" still applying are those that are severely out of touch with the feminist movement or running damage control for the fact that most feminists now are actually against equality? do you understand that the descriptions of words change over time based on their reception? does the word "liberal" mean what it once did 200 years ago? does the word "nice" mean "silly" even though that was the meaning of that word hundreds and hundreds of years ago in the english language? so if you saw a person calling a "pleasant" person "nice" would you give them a bloody good lecturing about how rude they've been? no? so why would you do it here when the word "feminism", descriptively (not prescriptively) means "a movement whereby women try and degrade men and blame them for any kind of short coming of women"? that's literally what it is. they don't want equality or else why do they never stand up for *any* innocent men? they will defend women who falsely accuse men of rape and base it on things like "oh she was clearly mentally sick" while the man wouldn't even be morally relevant to them. "equality" my ****ing ass. if feminism means equality then that would literally mean that all feminists by definition are mens' rights activists! I suppose they'll be happy to learn about this logic! dictionary definitions are magical!

      i dont really like my surname so if i think he has a better sounding one then sure but otherwise nah id rather stick to my own identity
     
     
     
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