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Will you change your name if you get married? Watch

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    (Original post by jeanprouvaire)
    ... Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this behaviour genuinely unsettling.
    You're not... what the actual **** does he mean
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    (Original post by JoshC98)
    I'd like for my future wife to take my name. In my view, it shows that the two of you are starting a new life together and I'd personally be quite upset if she didn't want to take my name, but then again I wouldn't refuse to marry someone over it.
    I agree with you. I would personally like to continue the tradition of the wife taking my surname, but I'm not going to throw my toys out the pram if she was completely against it.

    Ironically I'm saying I'd like her to take mine, but I doubt I'd be willing to take hers. Just feel like my friends would laugh at me for being whipped if I changed mine... My family would probably be a bit iffy if the wife didn't take the surname aswell.
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    (Original post by jeanprouvaire)
    ... Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this behaviour genuinely unsettling.
    If someone wants to have power/control over someone else it is a red flag in my opinion. Reeks of insecurity and/or a control freak
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    *sigh why do women feel the need to deny they are feminists whenever they say something that might be construed as such?
    Precisely because of dogmatic comments like this:

    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    in fact any woman who says they're not a feminist is a let down to their gender.
    If one disagrees with many - even some - current feminist arguments, they will not be inclined to define themselves as a feminist, regardless if they are an egalitarian, which itself is a rather empty label.
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    (Original post by LuceB)
    Me and my boyfriend of 6 years are at each others throats about this on a regular basis. I don't understand the need for me to change my name when I get married. Personally I think its a massively outdated tradition that I shouldn't have to adhere to. I don't understand why I am expected to shed something to important to my identity just because its 'what everyone does'. My boyfriend on the other hand thinks it shows unity and closeness, he point blank refuses the thought of marriage if I wont take his name. Not only this but he says his family would be offended especially his grandparents. Am I being insensitive to his feelings by refusing? I am anything but a feminist this part of life just doesn't sit right with me.
    I am Chinese. We merely see people change names. Not even a single one in my life. Is this prevalent in UK???
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    (Original post by KevinX)
    I am Chinese. We merely see people change names. Not even a single one in my life. Is this prevalent in UK???
    It's pretty traditional in the west for a woman to change her surname to the one of her partner when getting married. Then any children they have will also have the same surname as both parents.

    Recently a fair amount of people is moving away from that tradition, sometimes the man will change his surname, other times people double barrel (both people end up with 2 surnames), or combine the surnames to make a new one, or even just both keep their original surname without changing anything. What they do with their own surnames tends to establish what surnames their children will later have.
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    I'm either taking my wife's surname or we're mixing ours (not full, part of each) that way people trace our surname, it'll come back to us not random people. It just makes sense to have a family name that's your parents surnames mixed… I love the idea of it.
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    If it sounds better lol
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    Id like to take his name but id push my surname to become a middle name. Its like that was a part of me and now im going to start a new chapter of my life Its much too long to double barrel
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    This was something we had 'discussions' about in the lead up to our wedding. He was completely against double barrelling, completely against taking my name and became a completely immovable force on the matter. In the end I backed down and took his name because I loved him more than the fight over a surname.

    Post divorce (we were together for 20 years and yep, he turned out to be very controlling), he couldn't understand why I kept my married name especially as it caused embarrassment to his new wife. I didn't do out it of spite, I wanted to have the same name as the children.

    Worked well until eldest son decided to double barrel his name so that it also had my maiden name, a fact that sent his father into a complete rage and led to him refusing to speak to him for a while.
 
 
 
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