Confused... Watch

perdedora
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#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
Let me start out by saying that I have no relationship experience, and it makes me nervous around people, and unfortunately because of that I can't seem to "read" the guys I'm around.
I have a guy friend who started out as someone I knew from work. We tease each other endlessly, and when we spend time together, as nerve racking as it is for me, it feels comfortable.
We have gone to the movies together (when we first decided that we would eventually go to the movies, he gave me a quick "just as friends, you know, not as a date"). We've gone out for breakfast in the early morning when no one else was up. We talk online for hours on end...
A lot of times, I think he may like me, he knows about my lack of relationships, and if I say "no one wants to date me" his favorite response is "you'd be surprised" but never says anything more about that. He's gotten me medicine when I wasn't feeling well, and always asks if he thinks something is wrong, and even when he's hurt, tries to get me out of doing things that I don't want to do (going to a party, for instance) and doesn't tell me because he doesn't want me to fight.
Yesterday we were talking about a girl who's been giving me crazy dating advice and at one point she said something that one could make into calling me a beast-looking girl. He looked kind of angry and said "she pretty much called you a beast, which is wrong. She's dead wrong."
Also, he was being incredibly touchy too. He made me give him a hug, and gave me a "shhh, I'm just going to hold you". He was poking me and stuff all night.
I'm not sure if he's trying to be nice or if there's a possibility of him liking me... Also, I'm terrified of scaring him away, lots of girls we know like him, but I'm sick of going over this in my head and would appreciate any opinions.
Sorry this is so long!
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dh00001
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sounds like he likes you. flirt a little, test the waters
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perdedora
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Thanks for the fast opinion! Haha. The thing is, I have no idea how to flirt. I mean, I try to tease back, but other than that I'm not sure.
I mean, he tells me that other girls we meet are hot, etc. etc.
Uh, stress! But thank you!
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dh00001
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compliment him. smile and look him in the eye when you talk. touch his arm occasionaly. see how he reacts
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kitty_koo
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#5
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(Original post by perdedora)
Let me start out by saying that I have no relationship experience, and it makes me nervous around people, and unfortunately because of that I can't seem to "read" the guys I'm around.
I have a guy friend who started out as someone I knew from work. We tease each other endlessly, and when we spend time together, as nerve racking as it is for me, it feels comfortable.
We have gone to the movies together (when we first decided that we would eventually go to the movies, he gave me a quick "just as friends, you know, not as a date"). We've gone out for breakfast in the early morning when no one else was up. We talk online for hours on end...
A lot of times, I think he may like me, he knows about my lack of relationships, and if I say "no one wants to date me" his favorite response is "you'd be surprised" but never says anything more about that. He's gotten me medicine when I wasn't feeling well, and always asks if he thinks something is wrong, and even when he's hurt, tries to get me out of doing things that I don't want to do (going to a party, for instance) and doesn't tell me because he doesn't want me to fight.
Yesterday we were talking about a girl who's been giving me crazy dating advice and at one point she said something that one could make into calling me a beast-looking girl. He looked kind of angry and said "she pretty much called you a beast, which is wrong. She's dead wrong."
Also, he was being incredibly touchy too. He made me give him a hug, and gave me a "shhh, I'm just going to hold you". He was poking me and stuff all night.
I'm not sure if he's trying to be nice or if there's a possibility of him liking me... Also, I'm terrified of scaring him away, lots of girls we know like him, but I'm sick of going over this in my head and would appreciate any opinions.
Sorry this is so long!
awww, he sounds so sweet and i agree with dh00001- it looks like he does like you :hugs:
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foss
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yeh i'd say he likes you try using sexual inuendoes abit and see how he responds to them. also why don't you just ask him out? or when he gives you a big hug look into his eyes and kiss him - if he pulls away then you know that maybe its not what you thought. worth a try i guess!
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Somebody
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(Original post by foss)
yeh i'd say he likes you try using sexual inuendoes abit and see how he responds to them. also why don't you just ask him out? or when he gives you a big hug look into his eyes and kiss him - if he pulls away then you know that maybe its not what you thought. worth a try i guess!
Not every girl (or guy) is that confident :p:

Like others have said - he likes you
It sounds - to me - as if he doesn't want to push you into anything that you don't want to do. May be because he knows you lack relational experience, so he doesn't want to seem imposing.

If you like him (and it sounds like you may), then why don't you sort 'copy' what he does? Ask him if he wants to go and do something, give him random hugs, compliment him etc.

He sounds like a really sweet guy, and that you have nothing to lose!

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foss
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true what i said requires some serious guts! but if you don't try it you won't know. with my last girfriend her friend told me that she rearlly liked me and that i should kiss her! my response to that was "i'm too shy, ask her to kiss me". it turns out she was more shy than i was. i decided that the next time i saw her i would kiss her - but i was petrified - i mean rearlly bricking it :P but i did kiss her and it was great cuz it was exactly what she wanted, its just she was too shy to do it! perhaps this boy your on about is more shy than you, but just doesn't show it - you never know!
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PhilMc
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(Original post by dh00001)
sounds like he likes you. flirt a little, test the waters
Aye, Why not. :p:
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22KT22
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#10
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(Original post by Somebody)
Not every girl (or guy) is that confident :p:

Like others have said - he likes you
It sounds - to me - as if he doesn't want to push you into anything that you don't want to do. May be because he knows you lack relational experience, so he doesn't want to seem imposing.

If you like him (and it sounds like you may), then why don't you sort 'copy' what he does? Ask him if he wants to go and do something, give him random hugs, compliment him etc.

He sounds like a really sweet guy, and that you have nothing to lose!

:dito: If you dont try you never know! And from your post op sounds like you like him.. if u dont you'll only regret it!
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Ang|ophi|e
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He likes you. What kind of guy would do all of that for just a friend? You need to flirt with him a little and see how he responds. If you're too shy to ask him out at least make it known that you might have something for him, so he can make his move. Also you might want to compare the way he treats you to the way he treats other girls. If he treats you better then its an obvious sign he likes you.
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DodgyTrousers
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1) Make reference to how attractive he is sexually. I can't stress that bit enough. Don't say he's got a nice face (even if he has). Call him sexy, compliment his physique if appropriate. This makes it obvious you see him in that way. Most men don't realise that women think sexually as well as romantically and it may well make you seem more approachable without worrying he is going to jump into a marriage!

2) Get yourself drunk enough to "lay the mack" on him and blame it on the alcohol if he's non-responsive. It's a little white lie maybe, but it helps everyone escape the potential embarassment if there is any.

It does sound to me like he likes you, but possibly can't work up the courage, and is in the same boat you are in at the moment?
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Glutamic Acid
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I hate the whole flirting thing too. It'd be better if everyone walked around with a sign saying 'If You Want To Date Me Shout out this number: e.g.27819 with a little T&C notice underneath saying: 'Saying the number entitles the recipient to 30 minutes intercourse at their discretion'.
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perdedora
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Thanks for all of the opinions...
Today I got called gorgeous and he was saying "I'm not into an ltr (long term relationship) but I mean, if you want some nsa (no strings attached), I'm down. Well, hmm" and started laughing. I was, to say the least, floored and turned red as I practically ran away. I wish things like that didn't embarass me so much! What can you say to that? "Um, I wish, but I'm so nervous that I'd do something wrong and you would laugh at me."
I've definitely been trying to be a little more flirty with him, as in teasing him, laughing with him a lot and in general just trying the eye contact thing. I'm still just worried I'm doing something wrong.
Thanks again for all of the suggestions, I'm definitely going to do my best to implement them to the best of my shy/really scared and nervous ability!
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foss
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Thanks for all of the opinions...
Today I got called gorgeous and he was saying "I'm not into an ltr (long term relationship) but I mean, if you want some nsa (no strings attached), I'm down. Well, hmm" and started laughing. I was, to say the least, floored and turned red as I practically ran away. I wish things like that didn't embarass me so much! What can you say to that? "Um, I wish, but I'm so nervous that I'd do something wrong and you would laugh at me."
I've definitely been trying to be a little more flirty with him, as in teasing him, laughing with him a lot and in general just trying the eye contact thing. I'm still just worried I'm doing something wrong.
Thanks again for all of the suggestions, I'm definitely going to do my best to implement them to the best of my shy/really scared and nervous ability!
well thats got to be a good sign! you seem rearlly scarred that you'll do something wrong - don't be! trust me you can't rearlly do anything wrong, and if you do he'll probablly help you out and make you feel at ease. he won't laugh at you!

personally i still think you should just kiss him try it the next time he says something like that to you
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DodgyTrousers
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Sounds like it's going well honestly!

Just a little more pushing from your end will do it, he obviously feels he's lacking permission.
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Anonymous #1
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Sounds exactly like how me and my boyfriend got started.. Online chats for hours, meeting up for shopping, then meeting up for food (even if this was maccy d's) and help with uni work, then cinema and then he eventually invited me over for dinner and a film... BINGO. I didn't see it developing at all though (I know - so stupid and naive!!!) so I must admit I didn't have time to get all shy and embarrassed as I usually would in these situations. Just test the water - ask him to places you haven't been to before and see if he's up for it. Sounds like it to me!
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perdedora
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We spent most of the day today together (not exclusively) and pretty much had a good time as usual. I signed online to come here and see any possible replies, as well as check my e-mail and the like when he im-ed me, after having only left my house less than an hour before. We talked again about silly stuff, then he told me that he worries that he hurts my feelings with his teasing and that I don't tell him if he is...
Then he continued to tell me that I've got his serious & jokes down & that he thinks that everyone here is crazy if it takes someone who has recently moved to see "the gem" in their midst.
I've offered to run him some lunch on his work break the next time he goes in, we'll see if he takes me up on that. I got another hug before he left which he turned "creepy" by petting my arms and head in strange manners.
I'm so scared because I don't know if I'm making too much out of this, sometimes I feel like he treats most girls this way. Today I was told the only thing that's wrong with me is my lack of confidence.
I just wish that I knew how to be pushy and convince him to ask me out or something without laying everything on the table and letting myself open to be hurt.
Thanks for the hope from the continued replies. Maybe I won't hit 21 without a first kiss after all!
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foss
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perhaps you should ask him out instead of waiting for him to ask you out! by the sound of what he's saying, he wants you to ask him out! he's giving you little hints i think! lol!
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qubog
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(Original post by perdedora)
Thanks for the fast opinion! Haha. The thing is, I have no idea how to flirt. I mean, I try to tease back, but other than that I'm not sure.
I mean, he tells me that other girls we meet are hot, etc. etc.
Uh, stress! But thank you!
Yep, he likes you. Probably trying to make you jealous too :rolleyes:
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