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Why does my friend take a long time to respond? Is she interested in me? Watch

    • Thread Starter

    I've known this girl since middle school and we became friends. However, she left towards the end to go somewhere else and so I didn't get to speak to her again until I got Facebook a few years later.

    I used to message her a lot and she would send back good responses and we would have quite long conversations sometimes. But as time went on the time she took to respond increased. For instance I could send her something and she would take maybe a few days to respond despite coming on and offline constantly in that time, although she never actually opened the message until the time she responded. She also apologised a lot of the time saying she'd been busy or just hadn't seen it for some reason, and she normally wrote in-depth responses anyway so I forgave it somewhat. But it kept happening so in the end I just got the impression that she was only being polite and didn't really want to talk so I just stopped messaging her and we didn't talk at all in that time.

    It wasn't until over a year later that I finally saw her again. I was at a party and she was there, but I had no idea she'd be there at all until I saw her. I was talking to another friend when I heard her voice say "Rob!" and I turned round and she was there smiling and gave me a hug, saying how we hadn't seen each other in ages. We talked for a bit there and even talked a bit later. She said she was always there for me and making it very clear that if I ever wanted to, I could message her and she would always respond. She herself had also said it was a shame we hadn't spoken recently, wondering why that was (even though she hadn't tried to message me herself). She also suggested possibly meeting up at some point. I felt stupid then for thinking that she wasn't really interested in talking to me and was of course keen on meeting up with her. I messaged her the next morning just saying how it was nice to have seen her again and saying how it would indeed be nice to meet up. She responded saying it was nice to have seen me too, wishing me well for second year (as we're both at uni now) and saying it would be nice to meet up but that she couldn't do it until she went back to uni (I'd had this in mind anyway so that was fine).

    I'd wanted to do it during the first semester but honestly had far too much going on that I could never get round to it and so we didn't speak at all until I messaged her a few days after Christmas just asking her how everything had all been for her, with the intention of bringing up the subject of meeting up again later. We had a good conversation again, very friendly and enthusiastic, but over perhaps day-long intervals in between my message and her response. She apologised again the first time saying things had been hectic, which I suppose is understandable given the time of year. After the main conversation, I then sent a message asking whether she'd still be interested in meeting up after we go back to uni. That was a couple of days ago now and although she's been online numerous times since then, I've had no response and she's not opened it yet or anything.

    I understand she's probably busy but this seems a bit of a long time to not open or respond to a message, even if she is busy, considering she'd been online a lot in the time. I find it a little strange as well as she was the one who suggested all this in the first place, so I'm hoping that she is just genuinely unable to respond and properly interested in meeting up, rather than just being ultra polite because when she responds, it's a proper, friendly response and it feels genuine. I think she will respond at some point because she always does but if she was that keen on speaking to me and meeting up and so forth, why take all this time to open the message and respond?

    I don't know, I could be looking into this all wrong but it just seems a bit unusual, that's all. You guys got any ideas?

    I totally get what you're saying and it does seem rather strange. Im quite suspicious... I don't think I trust this girl. And I especially hate people who come on and offline but for some reason don't read your messages, that's always snakey to me, but maybe I'm being too cynical. Either way, I don't want you to fall into her trap, if there is one....

    Ignore any busy excuse. Girls have their phones around them or in their hand for the majority of their day. We'll reply to our best friends or someone we like talking to practically instantly. If she takes hours to reply, she's purposely ignoring your text or putting off replying to you

    she probably just treats the messages like emails. so she responds when she can be bothered and does it in one go.
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