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Would you stay with someone who beats you up? Watch

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    (Original post by Ria25)
    if anyone has watched the documentary murdered by my boyfriend, it is more relatable but, in that she loved him and he loved her and he would beat her for not picking up the phone or returning home late , but say i still love you and i never want to hurt you.
    and look what happened to her in the end. ended up dead because she couldn't even leave the man who was abusing her.
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    (Original post by EC)
    Abuse is not common in a healthy relationship, don't you lie yourself and think that this is love. It's not. People who stay in abusive relationships thinking that their abuser loves them forget what respecting and caring about each other actually means.


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    i agree with you, people in abusive relationships dont see the truth always unfortunately
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    Why the hell is this even a question? **** no!
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    (Original post by Allie4)
    and look what happened to her in the end. ended up dead because she couldn't even leave the man who was abusing her.
    yeah she died in the end , and it was all because she thought he loved her
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    (Original post by Ria25)
    your right it would be the best and the consequences would be bad in the long term too , thanks for your answer , would you ever hit someone you love because you got angry ?
    nope i would not hit a woman i loved, i would just walk off and take the hit if thats what they wanted to do. i dont like it when men beat their wives or children etc, just something that gets me mad
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    (Original post by UWS)
    They are physically abusing you, it's obvious they don't really love you. Open your eyes!
    yeah true , i get what you mean .
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    (Original post by RussianMan)
    I'd say "I love you too" and then kick him in the balls x
    Ye then when he hit you back you'd go crying to the police and blame him
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    (Original post by neal95)
    nope i would not hit a woman i loved, i would just walk off and take the hit if thats what they wanted to do. i dont like it when men beat their wives or children etc, just something that gets me mad
    thats nice to know and its true its something that is very horrible to do.
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    (Original post by Ria25)
    i agree with you, people in abusive relationships dont see the truth always unfortunately
    They are caught up in this parallel universe by their abuser until they actually find themselves to be dependent on them, so they can't leave.

    Whether they became financially dependent on the abuser or they believe that things will change. In most cases they only want the violence to stop, not the actual relationship, which is ridiculous.

    How can you feel safe in your own house with a person who treats you like that..
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    (Original post by jane matthews)
    Ye then when he hit you back you'd go crying to the police and blame him
    Nah i'll break his face
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      (Original post by Vikingninja)
      No because I'm not a masochist.
      Heh. I am a masochist but if I was in an abusive relationship I would definitely not let it last.
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      (Original post by EC)
      They are caught up in this parallel universe by their abuser until they actually find themselves to be dependent on them, so they can't leave.

      Whether they became financially dependent on the abuser or they believe that things will change. In most cases they only want the violence to stop, not the actual relationship, which is ridiculous.

      How can you feel safe in your own house with a person who treats you like that..
      i agree with you, its true you cannot feel safe your always in constant fear.
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      (Original post by Allie4)
      God no

      doesn't matter how much YOU love him, how much does he love you if he is able to do this to you?

      beat you like a dog, he probably wouldn't even harm his own dog. is that love to you? wheres the respect?

      do you really want to spend your life tiptoeing around someone just because you 'love' them?

      think about it, you'll be too scared to tell him anything, you'll be too scared to anger him. you'll be too scared to upset him. you'll have to live your life always getting his permission before you can do anything. the more you let him get away with it, the more he'll do it to you. he'll start to do it without reason, simply because he can and because it makes him happy to cause you so much pain

      seriously love I've seen it happen to my own family member. they don't just beat, the control and manipulate and dominate. it'll get to the point where you won't be able to leave him because he TOLD YOU that you aren't allowed to. it'll get to the point where he'll tell you that he views you as his property and he knows he can do whatever he wants to you. You'll lose everything - your family, your friends, your home, your dignity... and then one day maybe even your life. and why... because you 'loved' him? Love is nothing without respect. If hes hitting you - LEAVE. NOW. otherwise you'll spend your life regretting it.

      and p.s - don't be under the assumption that you can 'change him'. men don't ever change until they decide to.
      Thank you,,
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      (Original post by Ria25)
      thats nice to know and its true its something that is very horrible to do.
      indeed, as a child who witnessed parents divorcing even verbal altercations which occur daily arent pleasant for kids to witness so i can sort of see it from that perspective i guess. places a lot of undue pressure and stress on the child and all because the couple couldnt resolve their differences or work out how to be civil
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      When you're in an abusive relationship, you're riddled with feelings of guilt and fear towards your partner and it feels like there's no other way than to stay with them. You're terrified of leaving them, and one of the reasons people stay in abusive relationships is because it's predictable, which is something comforting considering how much fear you are going through. When you're in an abusive relationship you also go through "Learned Helplessness" which means that you are basically taught there's no point of even trying as you are unable to escape the abuse, guilt and fear. This means that you don't even think leaving is an option; however, that's something that is drilled into your head from the emotional abuse. However, there is a choice; no matter what your partner tells you. There are so many choices, and no matter how scary they are, you can make the choice to leave and take care of yourself.

      Here are some links that may be helpful. I highly recommend that you use these (if you need to lol), people here will understand what you're going through and give you some comfort and help you consider your options. They'll help you understand what is happening to you and won't judge you. <3 Remember you are worthy and don't deserve to be treated like this.

      http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/
      http://www.samaritans.org/
      http://www.refuge.org.uk/
      https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
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      No, easy to say but I would be straight out if I got beaten in a relationship, it is not love, it is called being controlling and abusive.
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      (Original post by neal95)
      indeed, as a child who witnessed parents divorcing even verbal altercations which occur daily arent pleasant for kids to witness so i can sort of see it from that perspective i guess. places a lot of undue pressure and stress on the child and all because the couple couldnt resolve their differences or work out how to be civil
      Thank you
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      F**k no!
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      (Original post by Ria25)
      Thank you,,
      no problem. now please tell us that you're leaving!
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      (Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
      F**k no!
      That's the spirit
     
     
     
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