Am I A Difficult social person, lack social skills? I think so

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
I don't know if anyone can relate.

I study maths at uni at a good university, I don't know if anyone has heard of the typical stereo types of maths students, but a lot of it is true.

There is a real geekiness, sheldon cooper like characters, probably a higher concentration of virgins than perhaps other courses.

Maths uni people have a stereo type of being socially crap, awkward, prefer to work alone and struggle to work in groups and have crap social skills.

The problem for me is if you saw me you would think I was part of the "popular" crowd. You know how it is in school, you don't choose to be popular, popularity chooses you. If you are deemed "worthy" you get asked and invited to parties etc.

So I am part of a separate non uni popular group but increasingly as the days go on I realise I am not one of them. I sit with them, they tend to be attractive both males and females but I just can't engage in conversation with them - of course I sit there and go with the flow.

But I have more interesting, deep and meaningful conversations with my geeky uni maths and other sciences friends. Its really weird, my uni friends ask me about how to have sex and honestly the way they talk about sex, like we would have talked about it in year 8 or something.

I don't understand when im sitting with my 'cool' mates, i just don't get it, i get it but i don't get it at the same time.

I don't know why I'm not socially compatible with them even though I spend so much time with them. Is it me? do I have something wrong?

Anyone relate?
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Anonymous #1
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Also I've noticed, I think of my self as quite geeky - of course I have to be if I am studying maths, I am deeply interested in the subject and fascinated by it, reason why I am doing it at undergraduate level.

For some reason the typical hardcore super geek types don't really feel comfortable when I talk to them. If we happen to be in a part of the library together I can sense there is some uneasiness when I am in their presence.

The thing is image may play an issue, but should it? For some reason the very geeky males in our course seem to have type of image of long hair, facial hair (not neatly groomed), pc gamer, baggy dark clothes. Now I believe style is subjective and I don't find that type of style particularly pleasing so I do take a certain amount of care in my appearance.

I dunno just really confused where I stand socially, do I have to look like them to be comfortable friends with them or does it not matter? I dunno.
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CraigBackner
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your born to be a nerd not a cool guy
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GraveDigger
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Whoever started this thread: Are you a skinny person as well and speak in a monotonous way?
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Zoe_1994
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Well the math guys will possibly feel slightly nervous around u cause to others u seem 'popular' and they aren't 'popular' so they will automatically feel like they don't fit in with u, in high school i felt inferiority to 'popular groups so they maybe feel like that with u, if u want them to feel more comfortable around u then make it clear that u r more like them than ur other friends, maybe invite them out with u or something and then they'll realise that u don't mind being with them, hope that makes sense 😊


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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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(Original post by GraveDigger)
Whoever started this thread: Are you a skinny person as well and speak in a monotonous way?
I'm not skinny, I go to the gym and play sports regularly.

Do I speak in a monotonous way? Erm yes perhaps I do, or can do at times?
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Kravence
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't know if anyone can relate.

I study maths at uni at a good university, I don't know if anyone has heard of the typical stereo types of maths students, but a lot of it is true.

There is a real geekiness, sheldon cooper like characters, probably a higher concentration of virgins than perhaps other courses.

Maths uni people have a stereo type of being socially crap, awkward, prefer to work alone and struggle to work in groups and have crap social skills.

The problem for me is if you saw me you would think I was part of the "popular" crowd. You know how it is in school, you don't choose to be popular, popularity chooses you. If you are deemed "worthy" you get asked and invited to parties etc.

So I am part of a separate non uni popular group but increasingly as the days go on I realise I am not one of them. I sit with them, they tend to be attractive both males and females but I just can't engage in conversation with them - of course I sit there and go with the flow.

But I have more interesting, deep and meaningful conversations with my geeky uni maths and other sciences friends. Its really weird, my uni friends ask me about how to have sex and honestly the way they talk about sex, like we would have talked about it in year 8 or something.

I don't understand when im sitting with my 'cool' mates, i just don't get it, i get it but i don't get it at the same time.

I don't know why I'm not socially compatible with them even though I spend so much time with them. Is it me? do I have something wrong?

Anyone relate?
I can relate to this, that's the problem with having two different social groups lol
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