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    Hey I don't know about anyone else but personally I'm rather dreading the thought of going back to uni. I'm not enjoying my course and I feel like I haven't made any proper friends. I hang around in a group of 6 people and we all go to lectures together and have been on nights out ect but still I don't feel close to any of them; I feel like I'm just sort of using them in a sense and I'd rather just go to lectures on my own but now I'm stuck in this group I can't just turn around and ignore them suddenly cause some of them are from my hall too. I also agreed to share a house with some of these people too which I initially thought was a good idea but now I'm panicking about it and would rather live on my own. I love being at home as I have no responsibilities and I can do my own thing and I don't have to be around people I don't like. I don't wanna just quit either cause I have a job there and also I don't wanna pay the remaining 3K for my accomdation so I guess the question is any advice ? Oh yh another issue is that I'm not into alcohol or clubbing but I've just gone along anyways cause I don't want to be anti social and I never really enjoy myself but yh idk :/
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    You're not alone. I don't enjoy my course, and unfortunately despite having many friends in the city I don't really have any on my course. It can be quite lonely. If you're a first year then it's perfectly normal to feel like you've not got any close friends yet, it's only been a few months. Friends don't come instantly, and making good and long lasting friendships take a lot of work and commitment. If you haven't signed any tenancy agreements yet and are sure you want to live on your own, then just explain to them that you're still their friend but you just feel you need your own personal living space. It's perfectly fine, many people feel that way. Nothing wrong with it. However if you have signed a tenancy agreement, don't leave them in the lurch to clean up the mess. You'll have signed a legal document to pay your share, so you will have to find a replacement.

    What keeps me going is knowing that in 5 months it will finally be over. If I could go back though and was still in my first year however, I would definitely change what I did and quit university while I still had the chance (student finance wise speaking, in terms of being able to get a degree). But hey ho, too late for that. So I'm just trying to make the best of it and get through what I have left.

    Can't relate to loving being at home, I like to visit. But prefer having my own place. But I do know what you mean about not having responsibilities. It can really way you down not being able to live care free.

    You are right that if you quit you will have to pay the remaining accommodation amount (unless you can find someone to take over your room in accommodation). So in terms of not putting yourself in a financial mess (as you'll also have to start repaying student finance regardless of income if you quit during the year on top of having to pay your accommodation) it may be better to stick out your course for the remainder of the academic year?

    As for not enjoying clubbing or drinking, that's fine and perfectly normal. Have you looked into joining any societies that might interest you? Only thing that is really going to help you here is being proactive in your hobbies and friendships. No one else can do this for you, and when you leave uni it will only get harder. So I strongly urge to make the most of what is around you. I wish I had in my first couple of years, instead of hiding away. Even if it scares you, do it anyway. It's better than living in regret.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    You're not alone. I don't enjoy my course, and unfortunately despite having many friends in the city I don't really have any on my course. It can be quite lonely. If you're a first year then it's perfectly normal to feel like you've not got any close friends yet, it's only been a few months. Friends don't come instantly, and making good and long lasting friendships take a lot of work and commitment. If you haven't signed any tenancy agreements yet and are sure you want to live on your own, then just explain to them that you're still their friend but you just feel you need your own personal living space. It's perfectly fine, many people feel that way. Nothing wrong with it. However if you have signed a tenancy agreement, don't leave them in the lurch to clean up the mess. You'll have signed a legal document to pay your share, so you will have to find a replacement.

    What keeps me going is knowing that in 5 months it will finally be over. If I could go back though and was still in my first year however, I would definitely change what I did and quit university while I still had the chance (student finance wise speaking, in terms of being able to get a degree). But hey ho, too late for that. So I'm just trying to make the best of it and get through what I have left.

    Can't relate to loving being at home, I like to visit. But prefer having my own place. But I do know what you mean about not having responsibilities. It can really way you down not being able to live care free.

    You are right that if you quit you will have to pay the remaining accommodation amount (unless you can find someone to take over your room in accommodation). So in terms of not putting yourself in a financial mess (as you'll also have to start repaying student finance regardless of income if you quit during the year on top of having to pay your accommodation) it may be better to stick out your course for the remainder of the academic year?

    As for not enjoying clubbing or drinking, that's fine and perfectly normal. Have you looked into joining any societies that might interest you? Only thing that is really going to help you here is being proactive in your hobbies and friendships. No one else can do this for you, and when you leave uni it will only get harder. So I strongly urge to make the most of what is around you. I wish I had in my first couple of years, instead of hiding away. Even if it scares you, do it anyway. It's better than living in regret.
    Wow thank you so much for responding it's reallt nice of you to take the time to read through my situation. In terms of signing housing contracts I haven't signed one yet but I feel like I'll probably end up just signing one anyways cause I know it'll be a lot cheaper than living on my own or living in halls again which would be pretty bad if I'm living with freshers as I'm not into drinking ect as previously mentioned. In terms of joining societies I think that's something I need to do as I'm only part of the society for my course currently and they just do stupid bad crawls but I did see a Facebook post about sober socials so I really hope they hurry up and organise some. I did actually try out a few sports including gymnastics which was good but the last session I went to we kept doing front flips and I kept messing it up and I could've injured myself so I didn't go again after that and now I haven't been for ages I feel like it would be awkward if I just turned up again cause it's like most people join societies in September. I might try joining ice skating or trampolining though I'll see but I get rather anxious when I'm round a lot of people so I worry I'll end up going for a few sesssions but won't go back... but like you said I'm not gonna make good friends unless I put the effort in so I just need to challenge myself to join societies ect so I do meet new people. I'll be in a mess financially if I leave now so unfortunately I'm gonna have to just stay here for the rest of the year and then I'll likely quit as chances are I won't actually pass anyways as I have 3 'core ' modules' which are compulsory to pass in order to progress regardless of marks in other modules but certain modules I get the impression I'm not gonna pass anyways. I'll just try and get involved more and hope that way I might meet some new people. I really regret not joining more societies earlier on in the year as now I feel it'll be even harder to make friends if people have their friendships formed already ; I just hope that there will be some new people coming. I'm sorry to hear that you wish you'd quit earlier but you've just got to accept it and move on and like you said you've only got a few more months left and then you can finally hopefully find a job you'll enjoy so you'll be much happier. I really hope things get better for you
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Wow thank you so much for responding it's reallt nice of you to take the time to read through my situation. In terms of signing housing contracts I haven't signed one yet but I feel like I'll probably end up just signing one anyways cause I know it'll be a lot cheaper than living on my own or living in halls again which would be pretty bad if I'm living with freshers as I'm not into drinking ect as previously mentioned. In terms of joining societies I think that's something I need to do as I'm only part of the society for my course currently and they just do stupid bad crawls but I did see a Facebook post about sober socials so I really hope they hurry up and organise some. I did actually try out a few sports including gymnastics which was good but the last session I went to we kept doing front flips and I kept messing it up and I could've injured myself so I didn't go again after that and now I haven't been for ages I feel like it would be awkward if I just turned up again cause it's like most people join societies in September. I might try joining ice skating or trampolining though I'll see but I get rather anxious when I'm round a lot of people so I worry I'll end up going for a few sesssions but won't go back... but like you said I'm not gonna make good friends unless I put the effort in so I just need to challenge myself to join societies ect so I do meet new people. I'll be in a mess financially if I leave now so unfortunately I'm gonna have to just stay here for the rest of the year and then I'll likely quit as chances are I won't actually pass anyways as I have 3 'core ' modules' which are compulsory to pass in order to progress regardless of marks in other modules but certain modules I get the impression I'm not gonna pass anyways. I'll just try and get involved more and hope that way I might meet some new people. I really regret not joining more societies earlier on in the year as now I feel it'll be even harder to make friends if people have their friendships formed already ; I just hope that there will be some new people coming. I'm sorry to hear that you wish you'd quit earlier but you've just got to accept it and move on and like you said you've only got a few more months left and then you can finally hopefully find a job you'll enjoy so you'll be much happier. I really hope things get better for you

    As someone who used to suffer really quite badly with anxiety, I can understand the fears. But really it only really gets better the more you expose yourself to it. And as for it being too late to join societies, I promise you it really isn't.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    As someone who used to suffer really quite badly with anxiety, I can understand the fears. But really it only really gets better the more you expose yourself to it. And as for it being too late to join societies, I promise you it really isn't.
    Ah thank you I just need to force myself to be more sociable and hope it gets better; doing something I enjoy should help me get to know more people I guess. Hope things are good and good luck for any jan exams you may have
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Hey I don't know about anyone else but personally I'm rather dreading the thought of going back to uni. I'm not enjoying my course and I feel like I haven't made any proper friends. I hang around in a group of 6 people and we all go to lectures together and have been on nights out ect but still I don't feel close to any of them; I feel like I'm just sort of using them in a sense and I'd rather just go to lectures on my own but now I'm stuck in this group I can't just turn around and ignore them suddenly cause some of them are from my hall too. I also agreed to share a house with some of these people too which I initially thought was a good idea but now I'm panicking about it and would rather live on my own. I love being at home as I have no responsibilities and I can do my own thing and I don't have to be around people I don't like. I don't wanna just quit either cause I have a job there and also I don't wanna pay the remaining 3K for my accomdation so I guess the question is any advice ? Oh yh another issue is that I'm not into alcohol or clubbing but I've just gone along anyways cause I don't want to be anti social and I never really enjoy myself but yh idk :/
    Hello,

    Well! That's quite a lot to take in, but, there is advice for most, if not all of it.

    1. Dreading going back to university is completely natural. Especially in First Year. There are the people that cannot wait to get back to university and then there are the people, that quite equally, prefer being at home and that's fine. You're only half way through your year so you are still adjusting to the life style - just keep pushing!

    2. It's a shame to hear that you aren't enjoying your course. Is there any particular reason? Despite the fact you aren't enjoying it, it's good to see that you're still pushing forward and that's important. My advice to everyone in your situation is get to the end of your first year and then see how you feel at that point!

    3. It's a shame that you do not feel close to these people that you hang around with - however, again, you can't mind them too much if you're still hanging around with them. If they were that bad, you just wouldn't and you wouldn't feel guilty because you don't care. Look at the silver lining that at least you've made some friends that you can hang around with - maybe attempt to get closer to them, see if that changes anything?

    4. House-shares are important and the silver lining there is that you've got it sorted already - you've done it early! All I can say is, give it a chance. Finding a house share with people can be extremely difficult but at least you've got it sorted and that's the important thing! Plus even though it's a house share your room can still be your own little escape and what not.

    5. Unfortunately, you have to pay the remaining 3K on your accommodation. Stick it out and enjoy it to the best of your ability. It sounds cliche but university is what you make it and they can be some of the best years of your life - try and enjoy them! Accommodation can be a great time - enjoy the independence.

    6. The drinking and clubbing side to things - well, there. You've only put yourself into that situation. Whilst at university you DO NOT have to drink or go clubbing. There is nothing that says you have too and no one is going to judge you for respecting your own decisions. No one is that petty at university. You've made that conscious to go, so again, you've done that. If you don't want to go, don't go. It's not being anti-social, it's just not partaking in an activity you are not keen on. There is plenty more you can do with your friends - ask them to do things you want to do!

    Put in that little bit of effort, try and see the silver lining of these situations and be positive - change your outlook on what you're going through.

    Good luck!
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    If you're not enjoying your course, you should talk with student support or your personal tutor if you have one. There might be an option to switch to a different course that you would prefer or come up with a different solution.

    About the friends situation, don't worry so much. You're not the only one like that. Maybe you simply don't have the same interests. You most likely did what most people do coming in not knowing anyone and just stuck with the first people you kinds got along with. I don't like getting drunk and going clubbing either so I just don't. Have you joined any clubs/societies? You could meet people with similar interests and maybe make friends there.
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    (Original post by JustGeorgeJ)
    Hello,

    Well! That's quite a lot to take in, but, there is advice for most, if not all of it.

    1. Dreading going back to university is completely natural. Especially in First Year. There are the people that cannot wait to get back to university and then there are the people, that quite equally, prefer being at home and that's fine. You're only half way through your year so you are still adjusting to the life style - just keep pushing!

    2. It's a shame to hear that you aren't enjoying your course. Is there any particular reason? Despite the fact you aren't enjoying it, it's good to see that you're still pushing forward and that's important. My advice to everyone in your situation is get to the end of your first year and then see how you feel at that point!

    3. It's a shame that you do not feel close to these people that you hang around with - however, again, you can't mind them too much if you're still hanging around with them. If they were that bad, you just wouldn't and you wouldn't feel guilty because you don't care. Look at the silver lining that at least you've made some friends that you can hang around with - maybe attempt to get closer to them, see if that changes anything?

    4. House-shares are important and the silver lining there is that you've got it sorted already - you've done it early! All I can say is, give it a chance. Finding a house share with people can be extremely difficult but at least you've got it sorted and that's the important thing! Plus even though it's a house share your room can still be your own little escape and what not.

    5. Unfortunately, you have to pay the remaining 3K on your accommodation. Stick it out and enjoy it to the best of your ability. It sounds cliche but university is what you make it and they can be some of the best years of your life - try and enjoy them! Accommodation can be a great time - enjoy the independence.

    6. The drinking and clubbing side to things - well, there. You've only put yourself into that situation. Whilst at university you DO NOT have to drink or go clubbing. There is nothing that says you have too and no one is going to judge you for respecting your own decisions. No one is that petty at university. You've made that conscious to go, so again, you've done that. If you don't want to go, don't go. It's not being anti-social, it's just not partaking in an activity you are not keen on. There is plenty more you can do with your friends - ask them to do things you want to do!

    Put in that little bit of effort, try and see the silver lining of these situations and be positive - change your outlook on what you're going through.

    Good luck!
    Wow I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read trough all of this and like you said I just need to start considering my situation from a more positive perspective like especially the housing situation as I guess it's just the fear of the unknown but I'm sure I'll end up enjoying myself in the long run. As for the course im just struggling to find the motivation to do the work and hence I know I'm gonna fail at least one of my January modules so that's making me rather stressed and anxious. I think in terms of moving forward I think I'm going to join some more societies next term so I can try and meet more people and I'll also join the gym as I know doing exercise can actually make you feel better and actuallt keeping myself busy should make me enjoy it more ; I spent too much of last term just sort of sitting around watching the world go by instead of getting involved. Thanks again for bothering to read this I'm interested though, what is your situation ? Are you at uni ?
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    (Original post by Devify)
    If you're not enjoying your course, you should talk with student support or your personal tutor if you have one. There might be an option to switch to a different course that you would prefer or come up with a different solution.

    About the friends situation, don't worry so much. You're not the only one like that. Maybe you simply don't have the same interests. You most likely did what most people do coming in not knowing anyone and just stuck with the first people you kinds got along with. I don't like getting drunk and going clubbing either so I just don't. Have you joined any clubs/societies? You could meet people with similar interests and maybe make friends there.
    Yeh basically I met these two people on my course during freshers week and thought they were alright and so I went with them to lectures and then they met other people on the course from different halls and then it's just like we have this group now which is rather nice cause nobody wants to be on their own but I feel like I'm friends with them just by default and not because we genuinely have lots in common cause as well most of the people are guys and they like to talk about guy stuff like football and I'm always just sitting there feeling rather lost
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Wow I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read trough all of this and like you said I just need to start considering my situation from a more positive perspective like especially the housing situation as I guess it's just the fear of the unknown but I'm sure I'll end up enjoying myself in the long run. As for the course im just struggling to find the motivation to do the work and hence I know I'm gonna fail at least one of my January modules so that's making me rather stressed and anxious. I think in terms of moving forward I think I'm going to join some more societies next term so I can try and meet more people and I'll also join the gym as I know doing exercise can actually make you feel better and actuallt keeping myself busy should make me enjoy it more ; I spent too much of last term just sort of sitting around watching the world go by instead of getting involved. Thanks again for bothering to read this I'm interested though, what is your situation ? Are you at uni ?
    You don't have to thank me at all - this is what I'm here for, to offer advice and help. It's just about attempting to see the positive - the negative is easy to dwell on and it slowly eat at you. It is the fear of the unknown but it can be great fun! If you're worried about the workload and failing a module, talk to your student support and explain your situation and they will be able to help. That sounds like a good plan! That would help! It's fine, honestly I am at university, I'm in my Third Year just about to start the last half of my year!
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Hey I don't know about anyone else but personally I'm rather dreading the thought of going back to uni. I'm not enjoying my course and I feel like I haven't made any proper friends. I hang around in a group of 6 people and we all go to lectures together and have been on nights out ect but still I don't feel close to any of them; I feel like I'm just sort of using them in a sense and I'd rather just go to lectures on my own but now I'm stuck in this group I can't just turn around and ignore them suddenly cause some of them are from my hall too. I also agreed to share a house with some of these people too which I initially thought was a good idea but now I'm panicking about it and would rather live on my own. I love being at home as I have no responsibilities and I can do my own thing and I don't have to be around people I don't like. I don't wanna just quit either cause I have a job there and also I don't wanna pay the remaining 3K for my accomdation so I guess the question is any advice ? Oh yh another issue is that I'm not into alcohol or clubbing but I've just gone along anyways cause I don't want to be anti social and I never really enjoy myself but yh idk :/

    I can relate to you, I'm going back on Sunday and keep wishing I had more time to spend at home! Personally I just felt like I spend a LOT of time alone at uni, whether it's sorting out boring chores or doing a food shop or just the few hours in between lectures .. makes me feel a bit *****y and then I miss my home mates and my boyfriend. Hopefully if we persevere things will get better xx feel free to message me we can moan about life anytime
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    (Original post by 09flangridge)
    I can relate to you, I'm going back on Sunday and keep wishing I had more time to spend at home! Personally I just felt like I spend a LOT of time alone at uni, whether it's sorting out boring chores or doing a food shop or just the few hours in between lectures .. makes me feel a bit *****y and then I miss my home mates and my boyfriend. Hopefully if we persevere things will get better xx feel free to message me we can moan about life anytime
    ah so nice to know I'm not the alone one feeling like this... i can't relate in terms of doing food shops as I'm catered but i know what you mean about being alone cause i see people during the day for lectures and then i just come back to my hall and do my own thing and its just rather dull and repetitive ; I've tried some societies but yet to find something i really enjoy and i go on nights out but i don't actually enjoying clubbing but thats all everyone at my uni wants to do so i feel like i have no choice as if i keep saying no people will just think I'm really antisocial so can't win really. i hope things will get better for you sooner or later What year you in btw
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    ah so nice to know I'm not the alone one feeling like this... i can't relate in terms of doing food shops as I'm catered but i know what you mean about being alone cause i see people during the day for lectures and then i just come back to my hall and do my own thing and its just rather dull and repetitive ; I've tried some societies but yet to find something i really enjoy and i go on nights out but i don't actually enjoying clubbing but thats all everyone at my uni wants to do so i feel like i have no choice as if i keep saying no people will just think I'm really antisocial so can't win really. i hope things will get better for you sooner or later What year you in btw
    I'm in my first year and I'm doing biological sciences yeh I don't mind clubbing but you're not missing out on much! Whenever I go out the group accidentally lose each other or I just feel awkward so want to leave early. I have a part time job which breaks up my time quite nicely and means I mingle with some other people but we're not at hanging out stage yet . Have you sorted out your accommodation for next year? I'm hoping that will be the turning point for me cus it will feel like living in a home and will be easy to hang out with my housemates.
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    (Original post by 09flangridge)
    I'm in my first year and I'm doing biological sciences yeh I don't mind clubbing but you're not missing out on much! Whenever I go out the group accidentally lose each other or I just feel awkward so want to leave early. I have a part time job which breaks up my time quite nicely and means I mingle with some other people but we're not at hanging out stage yet . Have you sorted out your accommodation for next year? I'm hoping that will be the turning point for me cus it will feel like living in a home and will be easy to hang out with my housemates.
    I also have a part time job but I work both saturday and sunday from like 11-5 so it pretty much takes up the whole weekend which makes me feel mega antisocial but the pay is really good ( £8.09 p/hour ) but the job is working on campus so its like a 15 min walk to get there and there's only two other staff there and one is a fresher but we don't really have much in common so not really gonna make friends from that... I've agreed to share a house with 3 others from my course next year but i feel like I'm not gonna enjoy it that much cause I'm not that close to them like basically two of them are like bff's and they needed more housemates and my friend said they'd go with them so i was just like yeh ok ill go with you guys too cause i didnt have anyone else to go with so seemed like my only option besides like living with freshers/ random people next year. i get what you mean about living in a home and i hope it makes me feel more comfortable cause i don't really like my accommodation now as its catered so at meal times i always seem the same people and a lot of them i don't really like and its just kinda frustrating ... hope things improve for yourself too biological sciences sounds awful btw ; ill stick with maths haha
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    I sit by myself every lecture, it gets very dull and I don't recommend it. I think you need to appreciate what you have a bit more, some people find it much harder to make friends than you do.
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    (Original post by Mistletoe)
    I sit by myself every lecture, it gets very dull and I don't recommend it. I think you need to appreciate what you have a bit more, some people find it much harder to make friends than you do.
    I'm sorry to hear that ; and yes I do think I need to learn to appreciate what I have as at the end of the day I'm lucky in the sense I've found people I get along with to some extent even if they're not going to be my BFF's. I just find it quite stressful to maintain friendships as I feel you've got to put a lot of effort in which sounds silly but idk it's just the way I feel and so I do wish sometimes I could just do my own thing. When I'm at uni I'm surrounded by people during the week for lectures and am reasonably sociable yet at the weekend I work and don't speak to anyone hardly beside at dinner time so I feel I've messed up there as I know people must do things at the weekend with their friends hence why I probably don't feel particularly close to people. I always feel like everyone judges you as well like if you say you don't wanna go out it's like oh you're ' denying the sesh ' which makes me stressed and hence I've gone out clubbing with people I don't particularly like just for the fear of people not thinking I'm boring, so I guess what I say to you as even though it make look like other people are making friends easily it may not be the case that they feel particularly close to those individuals as I find most people have just stuck with those people they saw during freshers week typically from their halls; I am lucky in the sense I knew people on my course before I arrived at uni as I was part of a group chat so I didn't have to do the awkward going up to people trying to be their friend as I just sorta stayed with the same people I knew from the chat and then have just met other people through them. I know that if I'd have come to uni and didn't know anyone before hand then I would've been too scared to go and talk to people and likely would've ended up sitting alone in lectures. What I would suggest in terms of meeting people would be to try and join societies as it's easier to strike up a conversation with someone if you know they're doing an activity you like and if you don't like it you can always just leave and try something else. If you ever wanna chat just DM me x
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    I'm a first year Im in the same position. It's a horrible feeling. I hate the city I'm in, the uni, my course. Basically everything. I have no "proper friends" since they found out I'm unhAppy here and reapplied to another uni but finishing my year here. I have 0 friends on my course as everyone has already formed their group. What's keeping me going is knowing I'm starting a new uni n city I like in September but would still be nice to fit in here. I have boyfriend an hour away so I see him a lot n he's supporting me all the way. I totally feel you x


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    (Original post by Anonymous1204)
    I'm a first year Im in the same position. It's a horrible feeling. I hate the city I'm in, the uni, my course. Basically everything. I have no "proper friends" since they found out I'm unhAppy here and reapplied to another uni but finishing my year here. I have 0 friends on my course as everyone has already formed their group. What's keeping me going is knowing I'm starting a new uni n city I like in September but would still be nice to fit in here. I have boyfriend an hour away so I see him a lot n he's supporting me all the way. I totally feel you x


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    Ah at least you have a boyfriend so have someone to vent to and that's a constant in your life sad that you haven't found any proper friends but I can certainly relate to that as I see people for lectures but when they go back to their halls they hang around with different people and even the person who is from my hall acts like they don't really wanna see me which is rather depressing but it's just how it is. I'm not a very sociable person but I'd like to have people who I could actually be honest with and chat to rather than feeling like I have to act fake in a sense around them like pretend I actually enjoy their company when I don't really I'm just sort of neutral to it
    Nice to know that you've made the right step of reapplying to another uni ; I'm considering going somewhere else as well next year but not sure where or what course like idk
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    Yeah without him I don't know what I do. I'm genuily a very bubbly and outgoing person, my first year of uni has proper changed me. And my flat mates are cool as well the girl always looks out for me. Yeah I have like 2 friends who I can chat to all day and they'll listen to me. I cut everyone else off because I had nothing in common with them n they acted fake towards me. Friendships come naturally you don't force it. And I know I'm so happy I have reapplied, something to work towards!! I hope things work out for u and i would say reapply you never know wherever u end up it'll be best time you'll have x


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    I think that's basically what everybody feels like to some degree
 
 
 
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