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My little sister is changing for the worse Watch

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    She was (and probably still is) the person who I cared about most in this world. Now she has gone wild and is smoking cigarettes and weed, having no regard for her health. She has admitted to doing other drugs like cocaine and won't listen when I try to advise her to stop. I even bribed her with a monthly allowance if she agreed to stop but she hasn't.

    She and I got into a fight after she left her cigarettes in my room and went off travelling. I texted to tell her that they were going in the bin, then she got angry, thinking that I had thrown them away. It's ridiculous that we would fight over cigarettes and I feel that this proves she is changing for the worse.

    I lost a lot of people over the past two years, but wasn't prepared for this at all. It makes me feel even more alone, but I'm not about to accept her behaviour just to appease her, when I clearly think it's wrong and that she's harming herself. I told her that if she lets these things continue to control her life, she will lose everyone who mattered. I just don't know how to make her see sense and would like some advice.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She was (and probably still is) the person who I cared about most in this world. Now she has gone wild and is smoking cigarettes and weed, having no regard for her health. She has admitted to doing other drugs like cocaine and won't listen when I try to advise her to stop. I even bribed her with a monthly allowance if she agreed to stop but she hasn't.

    She and I got into a fight after she left her cigarettes in my room and went off travelling. I texted to tell her that they were going in the bin, then she got angry, thinking that I had thrown them away. It's ridiculous that we would fight over cigarettes and I feel that this proves she is changing for the worse.

    I lost a lot of people over the past two years, but wasn't prepared for this at all. It makes me feel even more alone, but I'm not about to accept her behaviour just to appease her, when I clearly think it's wrong and that she's harming herself. I told her that if she lets these things continue to control her life, she will lose everyone who mattered. I just don't know how to make her see sense and would like some advice.
    This is really heartbreaking. I can't imagine what it feels like to have to watch her basically destroying her life. Is there any way you could get her help? Are there any parents in the picture?
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      Chill out you're not her mum, let her smoke her ****, she might grow out of it or she might not. None of your business.

      Unless she's like 11 but it doesn't sound like it.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      She was (and probably still is) the person who I cared about most in this world. Now she has gone wild and is smoking cigarettes and weed, having no regard for her health. She has admitted to doing other drugs like cocaine and won't listen when I try to advise her to stop. I even bribed her with a monthly allowance if she agreed to stop but she hasn't.

      She and I got into a fight after she left her cigarettes in my room and went off travelling. I texted to tell her that they were going in the bin, then she got angry, thinking that I had thrown them away. It's ridiculous that we would fight over cigarettes and I feel that this proves she is changing for the worse.

      I lost a lot of people over the past two years, but wasn't prepared for this at all. It makes me feel even more alone, but I'm not about to accept her behaviour just to appease her, when I clearly think it's wrong and that she's harming herself. I told her that if she lets these things continue to control her life, she will lose everyone who mattered. I just don't know how to make her see sense and would like some advice.
      You can only live your own life and let others live theirs. Maybe she'll regret those decisions, maybe she'll be glad that she had all the fun that I'm sure she's having... who knows. It isn't up to you to decide. The more you tell her what to do the more you will push her away.

      How old is she?
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      (Original post by Tabstercat)
      Chill out you're not her mum, let her smoke her ****, she might grow out of it or she might not. None of your business.

      Unless she's like 11 but it doesn't sound like it.
      As someone who is basically there to protect her, it is their business. Or would you rather she get introduced to more harmful drugs, given how easily influenced she sounds, and end up physically damaged or dead?
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      (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
      This is really heartbreaking. I can't imagine what it feels like to have to watch her basically destroying her life. Is there any way you could get her help? Are there any parents in the picture?
      My parents are, but they don't know what she gets up to and I worry about dropping another bomb on them when they're already going through so much. They don't deserve this .

      I will sit here down and talk to her tomorrow one last time. If that doesn't work, I may have to get another family member involved.
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        (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
        As someone who is basically there to protect her, it is their business. Or would you rather she get introduced to more harmful drugs, given how easily influenced she sounds, and end up physically damaged or dead?
        think you're being a bit melodramatic. would have a word about the cocaine but sounds like she's just having more fun than you.
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        My parents are, but they don't know what she gets up to and I worry about dropping another bomb on them when they're already going through so much. They don't deserve this .

        I will sit here down and talk to her tomorrow one last time. If that doesn't work, I may have to get another family member involved.
        That sounds like a plan. Again, I'm really sorry you're in this situation. I have a younger brother, and if anything like that happened to him I'd be devastated
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        She's your little sister, just flick her on the forehead and tell her to fix up
        Or send her picks of Macaulay Culkin
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        (Original post by Tabstercat)
        Chill out you're not her mum, let her smoke her ****, she might grow out of it or she might not. None of your business.

        Unless she's like 11 but it doesn't sound like it.
        She is ruining her life and health, she has even hinted at dropping out of uni. Why on Earth will I just sit there while she makes decisions that will make her miserable in the future? Not to mention the fact that my mum is the one who will end up picking up the pieces once she ruins her life, and that isn't fair.
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        (Original post by Tabstercat)
        think you're being a bit melodramatic. would have a word about the cocaine but sounds like she's just having more fun than you.
        You don't actually make any sense. Why would she listen to him about one and not the other
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        She'll never stop

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        (Original post by Moura)
        You can only live your own life and let others live theirs. Maybe she'll regret those decisions, maybe she'll be glad that she had all the fun that I'm sure she's having... who knows. It isn't up to you to decide. The more you tell her what to do the more you will push her away.

        How old is she?
        She's 19. I want her to have fun and don't care about all the drinking and the partying but the drugs will ruin her life. If she was only smoking weed once in a while, it wouldn't matter. But she smokes it regularly and has admitted that she is sort of dependent on cigarettes now. How will she get out of the habit?
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        She's 19. I want her to have fun and don't care about all the drinking and the partying but the drugs will ruin her life. If she was only smoking weed once in a while, it wouldn't matter. But she smokes it regularly and has admitted that she is sort of dependent on cigarettes now. How will she get out of the habit?
        Is she at uni? Is she studying? Has she got plans for the future?

        Taking drugs and partying doesn't ruin your life if you continue with your life at the same time and do it in moderation. 19 is an acceptable age for this.

        Cigarettes are something unfortunately many people pick up and take ages to drop the habit (if addicted) and will probably affect them in many years, but you cannot STOP a person doing something they want to do... especially when it is an addiction like smoking. You just have to let her be. She is not you and you can't hold her to your standards or make her think like you because she's her own person.
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          (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
          You don't actually make any sense. Why would she listen to him about one and not the other
          Maybe if he approaches the issue in a calm and non-judgemental way instead of having a strop and throwing her cigs away
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          (Original post by Moura)
          Is she at uni? Is she studying? Has she got plans for the future?

          Taking drugs and partying doesn't ruin your life if you continue with your life at the same time and do it in moderation. 19 is an acceptable age for this.

          Cigarettes are something unfortunately many people pick up and take ages to drop the habit (if addicted) and will probably affect them in many years, but you cannot STOP a person doing something they want to do... especially when it is an addiction like smoking. You just have to let her be. She is not you and you can't hold her to your standards or make her think like you because she's her own person.
          She is studying but keeps ranting about how she doesn't want to be another drone with a depressing 9-5 job. From the sound of it, she wouldn't mind dropping out and becoming some sort of hippy. But if she drops out of uni, it will be at my mum's expense. She's reckless and impulsive, that's why I worry about her being around drugs. "In moderation" isn't in her vocabulary, she's all about living in the moment.
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          (Original post by Tabstercat)
          Chill out you're not her mum, let her smoke her ****, she might grow out of it or she might not. None of your business.

          Unless she's like 11 but it doesn't sound like it.
          I was gonna say I totally get op because I'd do anything for my little siblings, one who is an 11 yr old girl actually.

          And she could be 11 you know.
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            (Original post by 0to100)
            I was gonna say I totally get op because I'd do anything for my little siblings, one who is an 11 yr old girl actually.

            And she could be 11 you know.
            she's 19
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            (Original post by Anonymous)
            She's 19. I want her to have fun and don't care about all the drinking and the partying but the drugs will ruin her life. If she was only smoking weed once in a while, it wouldn't matter. But she smokes it regularly and has admitted that she is sort of dependent on cigarettes now. How will she get out of the habit?
            (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
            As someone who is basically there to protect her, it is their business. Or would you rather she get introduced to more harmful drugs, given how easily influenced she sounds, and end up physically damaged or dead?
            this.

            Even if she 19 where it's less of your responsibility and in your power to do anything but still just as much of a care and concern. I could've sworn to myself when my little siblings were 4 like that I wouldn't care about them when they got older since they're older. But no I care about them even more :facepalm2:

            My question to OP:

            Has she done this before or just starting now at this age?
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            (Original post by Tabstercat)
            Maybe if he approaches the issue in a calm and non-judgemental way instead of having a strop and throwing her cigs away
            I tried calm and non-judgemental. I tried to understand where she was coming from, told her I was here for her and offered her an allowance if she would put an effort into quitting. I got angry after she left the ciggies in my room, while she galavanted off to other parts of Europe with her friends, and with the way she reacted after she thought I had thrown them away.
           
           
           
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