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First Year - Depressed - Don't know what to do? Watch

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    So I started uni in september last year, I moved out for the first time and am living in a shared house, no halls accommodation was available.

    I came with optimism and hope, that uni was going to be the 'best days of my life', i would make lots of friends, i would love where I live, i would love the course. Then by the end of the first term, I never felt so sad, depressed and alone. I made no friends on my course or anywhere apart from my housemates, I never went out (had no one to go anywhere with), I felt alienated and isolated and not apart of my uni and course, I feel mixed about my course, I hated it in the beginning but it got somewhat better, but i still feel mixed about it, i don't know what I'm doing. Basically, i broke down, I went back home and have been there since late nov, i haven't been at uni or my house for at least 6 weeks now, and have no intention right now of going back. I have been to the doctors and been diagnosed with depression. I don't know what to do about uni, i missed so many deadlines, failed modules. i feel despondent and hopeless. I feel like uni has been nothing but a disaster. I'm stuck, i don't think i can make it through this year. Any advice? I'm so stuck.....
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    (Original post by Graham 14)
    So I started uni in september last year, I moved out for the first time and am living in a shared house, no halls accommodation was available.

    I came with optimism and hope, that uni was going to be the 'best days of my life', i would make lots of friends, i would love where I live, i would love the course. Then by the end of the first term, I never felt so sad, depressed and alone. I made no friends on my course or anywhere apart from my housemates, I never went out (had no one to go anywhere with), I felt alienated and isolated and not apart of my uni and course, I feel mixed about my course, I hated it in the beginning but it got somewhat better, but i still feel mixed about it, i don't know what I'm doing. Basically, i broke down, I went back home and have been there since late nov, i haven't been at uni or my house for at least 6 weeks now, and have no intention right now of going back. I have been to the doctors and been diagnosed with depression. I don't know what to do about uni, i missed so many deadlines, failed modules. i feel despondent and hopeless. I feel like uni has been nothing but a disaster. I'm stuck, i don't think i can make it through this year. Any advice? I'm so stuck.....
    If you really have no intention of returning back to uni, you need to formally drop out to stop you paying tuition fees and receiving student loan. If you're unsure about the course, take a year out, maybe get a part time job or a hobby to give you time to decide what you want to study. If you do go back to uni, I'd recommend halls accommodation as opposed to private housing.

    I hope you're getting support from family and friends and that you're not going through your depression alone. Don't worry, you will be absolutely fine.
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    If you really have no intention of returning back to uni, you need to formally drop out to stop you paying tuition fees and receiving student loan. If you're unsure about the course, take a year out, maybe get a part time job or a hobby to give you time to decide what you want to study. If you do go back to uni, I'd recommend halls accommodation as opposed to private housing.

    I hope you're getting support from family and friends and that you're not going through your depression alone. Don't worry, you will be absolutely fine.
    My family have been very supportive, not so much friends, fell out with a friend because of my depression, they didn't understand depression lasts a long time. Plus i get the response 'third year is harder', which doesn't help me at all, it doesn't make me feel any better, I don't know what to do about uni, i'm considering going to a different uni at the end of this year, i'm so stuck honestly, i don't like quitting things, but i am so depressed right now, i'm so upset about how my first term went.
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    (Original post by Graham 14)
    My family have been very supportive, not so much friends, fell out with a friend because of my depression, they didn't understand depression lasts a long time. Plus i get the response 'third year is harder', which doesn't help me at all, it doesn't make me feel any better, I don't know what to do about uni, i'm considering going to a different uni at the end of this year, i'm so stuck honestly, i don't like quitting things, but i am so depressed right now, i'm so upset about how my first term went.
    My first term wasn't great either. I was very homesick and would go back home very often. I remember the day I moved in and I did a food shop with my family at the local Tesco. The next day, I wanted to get some juice from Tesco and I got lost and literally cried my eyes out. Sounds pathetic I know Do you think commuting would be a better fit for you?

    I wouldn't even call them friends if they weren't supporting you. It's not quitting, you wouldn't be very successful if you're not interested in the course and if you're unhappy about your social life at uni. It's not a good combo, so I think it would be good to take some time off to decide what you want to do
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    i feel so stuck about uni, it was supposed to be so great, i was pretending for so long uni was great, when in reality i felt miserable, i feel like i've messed up, the situation is pretty dire, missed deadline upon deadline, failed modules. it feels pretty much hopeless, what to do?
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    (Original post by Graham 14)
    So I started uni in september last year, I moved out for the first time and am living in a shared house, no halls accommodation was available.

    I came with optimism and hope, that uni was going to be the 'best days of my life', i would make lots of friends, i would love where I live, i would love the course. Then by the end of the first term, I never felt so sad, depressed and alone. I made no friends on my course or anywhere apart from my housemates, I never went out (had no one to go anywhere with), I felt alienated and isolated and not apart of my uni and course, I feel mixed about my course, I hated it in the beginning but it got somewhat better, but i still feel mixed about it, i don't know what I'm doing. Basically, i broke down, I went back home and have been there since late nov, i haven't been at uni or my house for at least 6 weeks now, and have no intention right now of going back. I have been to the doctors and been diagnosed with depression. I don't know what to do about uni, i missed so many deadlines, failed modules. i feel despondent and hopeless. I feel like uni has been nothing but a disaster. I'm stuck, i don't think i can make it through this year. Any advice? I'm so stuck.....
    Hello,

    I'm extremely sorry to hear that you've had this experience.

    My advice to you right now is to drop out of university. If you have no intention of going back - then don't. Give yourself a break and some breathing space to have a think about what you want to do - that's what is most important right now. You have not been back for six weeks so if you went back now, you are going to have a whole other situation to deal with that it does not sound like you are ready for - like I said, you need breathing space.

    My question is; how much effort were you putting in to make friends when you started? You can say you had no one to go out with but were you asking people if they wanted to hang out or go out? You said you had your housemates, did you ask them if they wanted to go anything? You can't just wait for people to ask you out - you have to put in the effort. The social side of university is a rollercoaster that throws people out left, right and centre!

    I'd say drop out, then start back when you feel ready. If you aren't ready for halls or house shares - study from home in your first year so you can just focus on your course - if you feel ready for halls and house shares, talk to your house mates, get to know them, go out with them, have fun! Go out for freshers week, attend the events, meet people and so on and so forth. Join societies and get involved! University CAN be the 'best time of your life' but that can only happen when you take the other cliche saying, 'university is what you make it'. Have a breather, change your outlook on your situation and then start back! If that's what you feel you want to do.

    You said you felt alienated, isolated and alone - well, because you didn't face those feelings head on, you've deepened them. I do know these feelings, I got diagnosed with anxiety at the end of my second year after a break down and went through counselling and live with three people who suffer from various levels of depression - so, I do understand and am not being harsh. I went through counselling and she made me realise the big thing is the 'fight or flight' response and when all of this started happening, you ran home. Therefore, you alienated and isolated yourself even more - heightening these feelings. I know it's easy to do because it feels safe and comfortable and what you know but these are life's test and you've got to fight and power through them to come out on the other side stronger. Does this make sense? I know it isn't a nice situation but you can do this!

    If you would like to talk more, my message box is always open. I can advise you on varies strategies and more to do with university.

    Good luck
 
 
 
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