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So confused, feel lost and upset! Verge of crying lol Watch

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    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 3 years ago, since then he's tried to reconcile many times. This is the third time, I can say honestly I do miss him and wish things worked out. Thinking about him does make me upset but I don't want to go back to him out of loneliness.

    Ironically, we were together for 3 years and our relationship was quite good. My friends have suggested I might be being too harsh on him and it's been 3 years since we broke up and he's tried to reconcile etc. For example, give him one chance.

    The guy is generally a good boyfriend and stuff like that, he's educated and has a good job but I'm not sure if I should get back with him. I want to but then I think about the past.

    What would you do?

    I'm 21 (female) and he's 23.. 24 soon!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 3 years ago, since then he's tried to reconcile many times. This is the third time, I can say honestly I do miss him and wish things worked out. Thinking about him does make me upset but I don't want to go back to him out of loneliness.

    Ironically, we were together for 3 years and our relationship was quite good. My friends have suggested I might be being too harsh on him and it's been 3 years since we broke up and he's tried to reconcile etc. For example, give him one chance.

    The guy is generally a good boyfriend and stuff like that, he's educated and has a good job but I'm not sure if I should get back with him. I want to but then I think about the past.

    What would you do?

    I'm 21 (female) and he's 23.. 24 soon!
    In my opinion it depends on why you broke up and if you still love him, if he's been trying to get with you and only you since you broke up and you love him then go with it because if you don't you'll always wonder what if
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    You broke up for a reason
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    Seriously consider what it was about the previous relationship that didn't work for you and what your fears are about getting back together.

    Write these down. Be specific. Use a friend to help you figure out your feelings and concerns if you have trouble on your own.

    Ask yourself whether it is reasonable that you and your ex could work through or avoid entirely the concerns you have. If you think maybe it would work, consider talking to him about it in detail.

    Be clear about what you want and who you want to be with.

    Don't get together with someone just because you miss them or are lonely.

    I have ex's who I love and miss but I know that they are not a good match for me anymore and being clear about that helped me to meet someone who is a truly good fit.
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    (Original post by shannonNicole)
    In my opinion it depends on why you broke up and if you still love him, if he's been trying to get with you and only you since you broke up and you love him then go with it because if you don't you'll always wonder what if
    We broke up because his family didn't approve of us, he wasn't strong enough to stand up to his family lol
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    (Original post by dmz)
    You broke up for a reason
    We broke up because his family didn't approve of us, he wasn't strong enough to stand up to his family lol
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    (Original post by FranktheYank)
    Seriously consider what it was about the previous relationship that didn't work for you and what your fears are about getting back together.

    Write these down. Be specific. Use a friend to help you figure out your feelings and concerns if you have trouble on your own.

    Ask yourself whether it is reasonable that you and your ex could work through or avoid entirely the concerns you have. If you think maybe it would work, consider talking to him about it in detail.

    Be clear about what you want and who you want to be with.

    Don't get together with someone just because you miss them or are lonely.

    I have ex's who I love and miss but I know that they are not a good match for me anymore and be clear about that helped me to meet someone who is a truly good fit.
    To be honest, he was a good boyfriend overall hence why I stayed with him for like 3 years but I hate how things ended. I suppose I'm only 21, so figured it wouldn't do me any harm giving him once chance. We broke up because his family didn't approve of us, he wasn't strong enough to stand up to his family lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We broke up because his family didn't approve of us, he wasn't strong enough to stand up to his family lol
    man, i'm always wary when it comes to returning to ex's.

    Has that circumstance changed? Is there any guarantee it won't revert back to how it was after you've wasted years with him down the line? Obviously something was right for it to last 3 years but is it something you could see yourself in for the rest of your life? (End goal and all)
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    (Original post by dmz)
    man, i'm always wary when it comes to returning to ex's.

    Has that circumstance changed? Is there any guarantee it won't revert back to how it was after you've wasted years with him down the line? Obviously something was right for it to last 3 years but is it something you could see yourself in for the rest of your life? (End goal and all)
    I obviously wouldn't get back with him like straight away and start relationship. I just want to take things slow and see where it goes, I just feel like I don't want to miss out on giving him a chance and not finding anyone else either.

    I haven't spoken to him in ages, sometimes time a part does make you stronger.

    I have to also remember this isn't the first time he wanted to reconcile either, damn.
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    (Original post by AfricanPrinceXI)
    You're worthless
    Huh?
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    (Original post by dmz)
    man, i'm always wary when it comes to returning to ex's.

    Has that circumstance changed? Is there any guarantee it won't revert back to how it was after you've wasted years with him down the line? Obviously something was right for it to last 3 years but is it something you could see yourself in for the rest of your life? (End goal and all)
    In all honesty about end goal, I could see myself getting married to him and settling down. He wasn't that much of a bad boyfriend in hindsight, maybe we were just young and immature..
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    You were definitely young and immature. The question is whether you are still young and immature now.
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    (Original post by FranktheYank)
    You were definitely young and immature. The question is whether you are still young and immature now.
    Lol I was talking about him but if I was so immature I would have got back with him straight away and not consider getting back with him 3 years later. I'm not rushing to be with him either, I'm taking my time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In all honesty about end goal, I could see myself getting married to him and settling down. He wasn't that much of a bad boyfriend in hindsight, maybe we were just young and immature..
    He wasn't that much of a bad bf sounds like settling though. I get the feeling your minds made up on this and you just want confirmation
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    (Original post by dmz)
    He wasn't that much of a bad bf sounds like settling though. I get the feeling your minds made up on this and you just want confirmation
    Hmm, I just feel I'm still young and if I give him one chance it wouldn't do me that much harm. It'll be a lesson learnt I guess. I'm only 21, I don't plan on getting married anytime soon..

    I just want confirmation I'm not doing the wrong thing by giving him one chance. We were together for 3 years and if just feels natural
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    Confused... lost.. upset... verge of crying.. lol

    Says alot ... ~
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm, I just feel I'm still young and if I give him one chance it wouldn't do me that much harm. It'll be a lesson learnt I guess. I'm only 21, I don't plan on getting married anytime soon..

    I just want confirmation I'm not doing the wrong thing by giving him one chance. We were together for 3 years and if just feels natural
    You are. Just who you were 15-18 is massively different to who you are at 21. Way you speak about it gives me the impression of first love and that typically lives a lasting impression. Can you be sure you're not doing it out of boredom or cos you've not met someone?
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    Really wanna tell you to go for it but I just can't see any reasons why lol
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    (Original post by dmz)
    You are. Just who you were 15-18 is massively different to who you are at 21. Way you speak about it gives me the impression of first love and that typically lives a lasting impression. Can you be sure you're not doing it out of boredom or cos you've not met someone?
    Hmm, I feel like I've missed out on something special. But I don't want to just jump into it either, I want to take it slow to see if it's something I definitely want.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We broke up because his family didn't approve of us, he wasn't strong enough to stand up to his family lol
    Just out of interest why did his family not approve. If you don't mind me asking what backgrounds are you and your ex from?
 
 
 
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