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Muslims who have boyfriends/girlfriends watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll pretend to fast. Usually I just eat during lunch break at work.

    And as for praying, I don't think she will mind, but I'm not sure as we have not discussed that.
    Tbh, you should really inform her on how you feel about her bet tell her you're an ex-muslim as well. Maybe she might not mind but have some specific request (e.g. bring up kids in Islamic faith, respect her religious duties etc.)

    Otherwise you'll get married, sometime she'll find out and she will be hurt from feeling betrayed.

    If she divorces you, you will have this story of betrayal attached to you for the rest of your life and that will limit any second chances...
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll pretend to fast. Usually I just eat during lunch break at work.

    And as for praying, I don't think she will mind, but I'm not sure as we have not discussed that.
    Not only are you deceiving her, you are lying to yourself. Is it really worth it? It is not fair on either of you to continue with this facade. It's not her fault because she is none the wiser, but you're not helping the situation by continuing and prolonging this. Trust me, it will be much worse to tell her after marriage, because it could result in divorce. If you tell her beforehand and she chooses not to go ahead with the marriage because of you denouncing Islam, then that's her choice. That is the better option than telling her after marriage or never telling her. You also shouldn't have to pretend to believe in Islam and pretend to be a practicing Muslim either to please her. I know you both love each other, but you need to have some respect - for her and yourself. You never know, you both might be able to compromise and make it work somehow. Don't you feel guilty keeping this secret from her? Personally, I wouldn't be able to put up with it and I'm not exactly religious either in that I don't pray (although, I intend to learn how to do so properly), but I fast, haven't had sexual contact with anyone, never drank alcohol, etc. The most important aspect of Islam, in my opinion, is having faith in Allah, so yes, whilst it may be haram to engage in drinking, sexual activity, etc., those sins can be forgiven providing people repent and reform, so that's not the issue. Only judgemental people would hold someone's past indiscretions against them, and use that as a reason to either not marry or later divorce a person, but I suppose that's their prerogative. The problem here in this situation with you and your fiance is that you don't know whether she can accept it, because you haven't opened up to her about this and given her the opportunity to voice her opinion about this. Even if she is okay with you being an Ex-Muslim, she might end up being mad over the fact that you willfully deceived her for all this time. It's up to you what you do, but try to make good decisions that will have the most favourable outcomes for both of you. Best of luck.
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    (Original post by sameehaiqbal)
    Me, and other people have said this to you 20 times already. You are violating her trust and her faith. Do you not seem to understand this concept? How heartless and oblivious can you be? Nobody is asking you to be a Muslim, none of us are forcing Islam down your throat, that is entirely your choice. All we're asking is for you to be honest to your fiancee. You are not being honest. Your marriage is an entire lie.
    Perhaps his fiancee is faking it as well...

    The peer pressure to publicly display one's faith is so high that it is hard to tell who really believes to these fairy tales. Unfortunately, Islam doesn't encourage people to be honest.
    • #6
    #6

    I think anon 5 is trolling you all. Posts like one below deliberately give unnecessary detail which is meant to bait people.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Of course she'll love me, in fact I'm the only one who can love her. On my wedding night when she comes back home with her, I'll start kissing her. She's never kissed a guy before.
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    Why is it that on tsr always intentionally someone raises stupid question so people make mock Muslims?
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Aiyoxiin)
    Tbh, you should really inform her on how you feel about her bet tell her you're an ex-muslim as well. Maybe she might not mind but have some specific request (e.g. bring up kids in Islamic faith, respect her religious duties etc.)

    Otherwise you'll get married, sometime she'll find out and she will be hurt from feeling betrayed.

    If she divorces you, you will have this story of betrayal attached to you for the rest of your life and that will limit any second chances...
    It's just a lot smoother at this moment in time with my engagement. It's a dream come true and I'd never think I'd get engaged to such an amazing woman.

    Also I doubt I'll ever even think about divorcing her. And I just can't see why she will divorce me so it's definitely much more smoother. All of the other people from the ex-Muslim society haven't come out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What's so disgusting? I'll never leave her because of some kid on an online forum..
    You wont leave her because your insecure , you know no one else would want you. Its not about love :blah:
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Perhaps his fiancee is faking it as well...

    The peer pressure to publicly display one's faith is so high that it is hard to tell who really believes to these fairy tales. Unfortunately, Islam doesn't encourage people to be honest.
    Anonymous 5 is "ex muslim" and isnt honest. No need to blame Islam for dishonest people. Theres dishonest people all around you.
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by sameehaiqbal)
    Anonymous 5 is "ex muslim" and isnt honest. No need to blame Islam for dishonest people. Theres dishonest people all around you.
    Exactly. This guy is clearly punching above his weight, hence why he is pretending to be someone he is not to maintain the relationship.
    • #13
    #13

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will come out later. It's just about finding the right time, and that time certainly isn't now. I do intend to have the Islamic wedding Nikkah which she desires and even though I don't believe in it, I still gain the cultural practice for self-satisfaction.

    I personally don't think you know how difficult it is for us ex-Muslims. In fact VERY few of my friends who are ex-Muslim have come out and there is a reason why because of the drama it will cause with out families and friends. It's all about finding the right moment to come out. Sometimes that may be never depending of circumstances.
    What nationality is your fiancé?
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    How did I u left the Islam?? Isn’t ther a punishment? , I am sorry to ask such person question but I was curious well I have this Muslim guy well we aren’t dating or anything since he doesn’t do that but we trust each other but he isn’t really religious but I heard from him that leaving the Islam is death??
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    I think that sexual intentions are not right in the relationship ship because usally if kissing happens it leads to haram choices just as sex before marriage.Also if you break up with her your sexual intentions will lead to others maybe and then people think that your just wanting sex which usally will be disliked.As long as you dont use her for sexual intentions then it is fine.(kissing can be fineif you control yourself)It better to get to know before marriage then sex.
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    I am a muslim girl in a realtionship with a muslim boy.I am 18 years we have been together 1 year.I love him he loves me more than i love him and he never asked me for sex cez he said he doesn’t want to make my life rubbish. And i will NEVER have sex before marriage.We only go out together kissing and cuddling but i will never think about sex.We look forward to marry after 4 years ( after education).The problem is I know is forbidden in Islam to have a boyfriend I tried to think to leave him but is so hard i never want to leave him he is the best person i have ever met and is rare to find someone like him.But the problem he had sex with other girls in the past but he said he regrets it .I was so upset when he said that but his friends influenced him to have sex with other girls.This time he promise me that he will not have sex with other girls anymore.I am so depressed about our forbidden relationship.What to do instead of leaving him??
    • #14
    #14

    I’m a muslim. My family is super super strict like I can’t even explain it. They refuse to let me talk to boys outside of work/school, let alone date one.

    I have been with my bf for 2 years. He’s white, and not a Muslim, so I know my parents would never accept him, they would throw me out the house if they found out. But it doesn’t bother me, I know one day I’ll walk away from my parents strict upbringing and lead my own life, whether that involves a white boy or not.

    As for sex, yes we do have sex a lot. I am on the pill and have to hide it from my parents, which is hard if we’re out together and I have to take it. But I’ve been hiding stuff from my parents all my life, so i’ve gotten used to it tbh.

    Although I do wish I could talk to my mum about girly issues and boy struggles. Sex is never mentioned in my house, my parents would rather me say **** than say sex, so there’s no way I could ever talk to my mum
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We dated for a while then had sex and we've been together for a couple of months now. I'm not afraid that my parents will find out because they wont, and I'll gladly tell my husband my sexual history if he asks.
    thats not gonna go down well with a muslim husband, muslims should not have sex before marrige and thats period
 
 
 
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