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I think the career focus of some women, academic or not, may well deprive them of the opportunities they might otherwise have yes. Do I think they don't get dates on virtue of being intelligent? No, you'd have to be a pretty insecure man to be bothered by a girl being intelligent surely?
intelligence is attractive
Reply 3
I think the OP is trying to say that super-intelligent girls are more likely to be quite picky with their choice in boys. ie. They won't find someone attractive unless they are also highly intelligent and, seeing as this may be hard to find, subsequently struggle to pair off.

I don't think this is the case, though. Not only are many partnerships unequally matched intelligence-wise; many people also find partners who are roughly as intelligent as them...

Maybe it would help if the OP explained why he/she thinks this is the case..?
Reply 4
Anonymous
I want to ask a frank question and hopefully get some frank answers.

Do you think (from observation) that academically very high achieving girls have trouble finding boyfriends even if they look alright or even good? Or at least find a boyfriend relatively later in life like mid 20s or later? Some will just be single career womans all life.

Please give reasons.


why can it not be the same for boys? like an academically achieving boy find it difficult to find a gf?

but in reponse to your question, ive seen a few people i know who have done quite well academically but didnt have a gf/bf. and iam pretty sure they sacrificed a relationship for careers. i guess its all about balancing careers and relationships
How you do academically has nothing to do with getting a bf/gf, unless you spend every waking minute studying. Many people dont find a partner untill late teens of early 20s because its only then you meet enough people, and you begin to gain adult confidence. It all boils down to confidence and meeting people.
Reply 6
Perhaps whilst at school, where boys see you as a less attractive prospect for a relationship, and more a target for bullying (I think, because they are intimidated). I have found that this effect lessens once at university, where you meet people more like yourself, and where intelligence is not something to be ashamed of. I can only make guesses about later in life, since I don't have direct personal experience of that, but I suppose it depends what direction the woman takes with her career. I've heard that men are intimidated by highly intelligent women, but some men are the opposite. My view is that everyone likes to say they want an intelligent partner, but they also want their own ego to be flattered.

I don't know if the OP is talking about (presumably) herself in the 3rd person - I imagine she might be, since she's choosing to post anon - but I must say, don't dumb yourself down because you think it will make you more attractive to men. If you're still at school, don't worry. You wouldn't want to go out with any of the losers there anyway!
Reply 7
Look alright or even good? What's that supposed to mean? You're no more likely to be ugly if you're smart than if you weren't. In fact it seems to me that people who put that kind of effort into their studies are likely to put more effort into other areas of their life, including their appearance.

Based on my observations (three years at a good uni), no they don't find it harder to get boyfriends. They're probably just less likely to settle for some randomer who comes along because they're less likely to define themselves in terms of the guy they're dating when they can define themselves as being smart, or high achieving.

People tend to go for partners who are similar to themselves in various respects and obviously the pool of people with IQs over 125 (if we take that to roughly correlate with high academic achievement) is smaller than that of those between 90 and 110. So it's harder to find what they want, not just to find any old guy.
I don't think that have problems at all from experience.
I don't have reasons, though I'd quite like to knowthem, but from looking around it does seem to me that the more academically intelligent a girl is the more they struggle to maintain a functional relationship (not find a boyfriend, which is a totally different thing).
Reply 10
Anonymous
I want to ask a frank question and hopefully get some frank answers.

Do you think (from observation) that academically very high achieving girls have trouble finding boyfriends even if they look alright or even good? Or at least find a boyfriend relatively later in life like mid 20s or later? Some will just be single career womans all life.

Please give reasons.


I think it depends totally on the girl from experience. Some have no trouble finding boyfriends early on, others find them later and some never manage it.

I don't even think you can say that one happens more than the other case really. I know an equal amount of girls who have achieved/are achieving very high grades academically in each group.

But it think you could say that this is different from girls who don't do as well at maths etc - there the groups tend to be a bit different and more end up finding a boyfriend earlier.

I think it's just a case that more often that not the girls who achieve a lot academically rationalise things and also have some confidence that doesn't stem from their looks, but their achievements. They might not look amazing, but they still think a lot of themselves (some times seeming a bit snobby therefore, too much geek-pride) and so they don't feel the need to just go for any guy just for the sake of having a boyfriend. Those girls are much more likely to wait until later in life when they finally do want a guy - or they continue on that path of thinking themselves too good for a guy and don't realise that some times you have to give a guy a chance and that feelings develope later.
Intelligence is better...
Reply 12
That's subjective.

I don't personally care how gifted a girl is. So long as she can hold sensible conversation and doesn't throw "I'm better than you" in your face she'll do just fine.
The plural of "woman" is "women"...

...and, no, I seriously doubt there's any truth in what you're saying.
Reply 14
No, I like intelligent girls, as long as they're not arrogant about it. There is no reason why a career woman shouldn't also have a happy relationship, but I think some of them deprive themselves of the opportunities to find a partner by not going out enough, meeting people etc.
It depends on your attitude. Obviously if you are staying in every night to study, or not communicating with others it will be harder to connect with that special person and therefore harder to find a boyfriend.
Reply 16
Personally i'd like someone who has gone to Uni or somert and works in a good job.
I think a lot of it is about choice, intelligent women are more likely to get a degree and a better paid job therefore reducing the need to rely on someone else. Therefore, if choosing a partner, they can be perhaps more selective because the qualities that they are looking for are fewer.

For example, a girl of average intelligence may look for a guy that has a well paid job, is financially stable as well as compatibility, whereas a girl of above average intelligence would probably take the well paid job and financial stablilty as a given and is therefore looking for other more specific things besides.

Above average intelligence would probably also lead to being more career focused which may result in the sacrifice of a relationship.

obviously no proof to back this up whatsoever, it's just what i think may be the case.
Reply 18
Bubblebee
It depends on your attitude. Obviously if you are staying in every night to study, or not communicating with others it will be harder to connect with that special person and therefore harder to find a boyfriend.

That's a real minority of people though, most people who do well academically can manage to balance their lives with it perfectly well.
puppy
That's a real minority of people though, most people who do well academically can manage to balance their lives with it perfectly well.

Yup, which makes it a silly question.