At the end of my tether

I sympathise with you on this one, sometimes its hard to get them to understand what you have been thorugh...

Can i ask does your boyfriend stand up for you when his mum has a good rant to him? The first step toward stopping it would be to make sure he tells his mum that she is deluded and support it with evidence. If he starts responding to her she will more than likely stop eventually. Talk it over with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel.

How does his dad feel i couldnt see anything about that unless i missed something? His mums just being protective, it should stop hopefully

I think his mum just feels the deal with you is a bit one sided. Youre not her child and your not her responsibility so she might feel a bit annoyed that shes stuck with you there. It would be nice of her to just get on with it a deal with the situation but meh. Maybe if youd gotten a job over the summer shed be a lot less annoyed as you couldve paid rent and helped the whole situation out rather than just kinda leaching from them.

Anyway, im sure theres some sort of financial support you can get from the government in your situation. Id seriously recommend going to you citizens advice bureau and seeing what you can get. As well as this when you go to uni get a job so you can save up for summer just incase you have nowhere to live. Its pretty easy to maintain yourself in a small flat while working full time over your future summers so I dont see why this is such a problem.

I'm working all the time, and I do pay rent though. And whenever I leave them the money I put a little note saying 'thanks so much' and a chocolate orange, because my boyfriend told me she likes them. I'm not remotely leaching from them.

This is a big problem for me, and I'm worried I won't be able to find anywhere to move into. Going to the CAB is difficult too, because I work most days and the last bus into town from the village is at 5pm.

Thats good then, she shouldnt complain lol. Couldnt you just get a flat though??? Im pretty sure youd qualify for income support, you could at least email someone.

If your getting stressed out, just imagine how she is feeling about having you (not her child) living there for £20 a week. Cmon, your costing more than £20 a week i'd reckon - me on a student's diet could never manage less than £30 a week on food alone! No offence, but you need to learn to respect other people's personal space more - neom mentioned something about telling her she is deluded, but the thing about this is that in this line of thought you could be considered 'deluded' too, and how would you like being told by someone you are quite close to (albiet the shaky relationship) that you are deluded?


I mean his mother obviously has some sort of issue here, and the best way of gaining an insight is to speak to her about it! I mean your coming on here ranting about a situation you believe you have no control in but have you ever actually sat down and talked to her? You seem to have your own problems too, the fact that you have yet to approach this straight up, and have actually been physically sick.

neom mentioned something about telling her she is deluded.

I just meant the making assumptions about her family circumstances. I recognise that sometimes it can be stressfull when i stay at my girlfriends if i am there over a week but i can always leave. I really do think it would be a good idea for your boyfriend to stand up for you, not agressively defending you but atleast dropping a few hints.

I had this issue with my boyfriend (not as extreme but badmouthing, excluding me from stuff etc) The main problem is that she will see you are serious and feel that you are "taking away" his boy.

I believe that our boyfriends mums have the same presence within their households. Everyones afraid of her, the dad goes along with it, and she's got the kids whipped. (right now actually, my boyfriend is cleaning his house and stuff, which ****ed up our plans)

You pay rent, you pay for your food. She's not giving away terribly much than a room in her house and though I can understand that may be intrusive, if she had a problem with it, she should not have agreed to it, rather than being a knob about it when you move in.

Honestly, with my boyfriends mum, everything she does and says that is "nasty" comes down to me being the one who will "take him away" as he wants to spend time with me and not her now. Simple as!

PM if you want to talk about it, can understand what you're going through.

I buy my own food, the £20 is for heat and electricity and stuff I guess. And if you'd read my original post you'd see that I did talk about it with her, but to no avail. I don't know why you think I'm 'deluded'; I appreciate the huge favour she's done for me, and feel really bad about the way things are. I came on here to get advice.