I don't know what to do Watch

Martyna23
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#1
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So me and my bf been together for a few months now and the issue we have is that I feel like he doesn't spend enough time with me.and that he keeps breaking promises. We see each other twice a week and we try to see each other a bit more durning the holidays. My problem started back in October when he would make plans with me and then cancel it for various reasons. He would say that he will stay over and then around 6pm he would say that he has to go home and then later on I found out that he went to a pub with his mates. We would agree to meet on a certain day and then he would cancel on me to go out.We got back to college and things got back to normal again but since we started our Christmas break things got a bit rough again. First issue arises around NYE time because we've had a totally different idea of spending it, me with him and him clubbing with his mates. Then we agreed on spending a certain night together but then he cancelled on me literally 10 mins before due to family reasons (it was the last night we could spend together before me going back to college) because other night he wanted to go out with his mate because it was his birthday. He went out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (he came mine for a few hours but then had to go home earlier due to him not feeling well, but he went clubbing afterwards), and then Thursday again. About a week ago we agreed that he is sleeping at mine on Saturday since is the last night he can spend with me in another good few weeks. Yesterday I facetimed him and we'be talked and he went 'can I see you Sunday?' And I was like 'you were suppose to sleep at mine Saturday anyway, weren't you?' And he shut down a bit so I said as a joke 'or are you going clubbing?' And he went 'yeah it'a x birthday'. And my question is what do I do? It' s not the first time he does that
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Martyna23)
So me and my bf been together for a few months now and the issue we have is that I feel like he doesn't spend enough time with me.and that he keeps breaking promises. We see each other twice a week and we try to see each other a bit more durning the holidays. My problem started back in October when he would make plans with me and then cancel it for various reasons. He would say that he will stay over and then around 6pm he would say that he has to go home and then later on I found out that he went to a pub with his mates. We would agree to meet on a certain day and then he would cancel on me to go out.We got back to college and things got back to normal again but since we started our Christmas break things got a bit rough again. First issue arises around NYE time because we've had a totally different idea of spending it, me with him and him clubbing with his mates. Then we agreed on spending a certain night together but then he cancelled on me literally 10 mins before due to family reasons (it was the last night we could spend together before me going back to college) because other night he wanted to go out with his mate because it was his birthday. He went out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (he came mine for a few hours but then had to go home earlier due to him not feeling well, but he went clubbing afterwards), and then Thursday again. About a week ago we agreed that he is sleeping at mine on Saturday since is the last night he can spend with me in another good few weeks. Yesterday I facetimed him and we'be talked and he went 'can I see you Sunday?' And I was like 'you were suppose to sleep at mine Saturday anyway, weren't you?' And he shut down a bit so I said as a joke 'or are you going clubbing?' And he went 'yeah it'a x birthday'. And my question is what do I do? It' s not the first time he does that
Tell him that cancelling on you to go clubbing all the time is hurtful
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Martyna23
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(Original post by claireestelle)
Tell him that cancelling on you to go clubbing all the time is hurtful
I already have, he promised that it will change but he's done nothing to make it better.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Martyna23)
I already have, he promised that it will change but he's done nothing to make it better.
I think it's time to consider you d be better off if you broke up with him.
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Tubbz
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Yeah, you're just there for his convenience. He'd rather be with his mates than you, so sack him off. He can't go out with the lads all the time, pop over and see you like all you've got to do is sit there and wait for him to come over.

But if you do it, make sure it's permanent, don't break up with him just because you want to try and change him. He prefers being with the lads at the moment, and that's his mentality. He'll go all goo-goo on you once you break up with him to get you back, make all the promises, but nothing will change. He's not ready to settle down, and when the rest of his mates start settling down, he'll be the one left standing, wishing he'd settled down when he had the chance.

There's nothing wrong with him wanting to go out, but keep cancelling on you and lying is wrong.
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Martyna23
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(Original post by claireestelle)
I think it's time to consider you d be better off if you broke up with him.
Yeah, that's what I'm planning on doing but I just wanted to know if I'm not over reacting and if I don't give up on someone I love for no reason.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Martyna23)
Yeah, that's what I'm planning on doing but I just wanted to know if I'm not over reacting and if I don't give up on someone I love for no reason.
I don't think you re overreacting at all, he's not making any effort you deserve better.
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23ojrfyb
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I understand a Boyfriend to mean as someone who one is close to. He does not sound like one, however, if things continue, I'd either change my contact details or otherwise, continue to play the game with him.
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New- Emperor
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#9
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(Original post by Martyna23)
So me and my bf been together for a few months now and the issue we have is that I feel like he doesn't spend enough time with me.and that he keeps breaking promises. We see each other twice a week and we try to see each other a bit more durning the holidays. My problem started back in October when he would make plans with me and then cancel it for various reasons. He would say that he will stay over and then around 6pm he would say that he has to go home and then later on I found out that he went to a pub with his mates. We would agree to meet on a certain day and then he would cancel on me to go out.We got back to college and things got back to normal again but since we started our Christmas break things got a bit rough again. First issue arises around NYE time because we've had a totally different idea of spending it, me with him and him clubbing with his mates. Then we agreed on spending a certain night together but then he cancelled on me literally 10 mins before due to family reasons (it was the last night we could spend together before me going back to college) because other night he wanted to go out with his mate because it was his birthday. He went out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (he came mine for a few hours but then had to go home earlier due to him not feeling well, but he went clubbing afterwards), and then Thursday again. About a week ago we agreed that he is sleeping at mine on Saturday since is the last night he can spend with me in another good few weeks. Yesterday I facetimed him and we'be talked and he went 'can I see you Sunday?' And I was like 'you were suppose to sleep at mine Saturday anyway, weren't you?' And he shut down a bit so I said as a joke 'or are you going clubbing?' And he went 'yeah it'a x birthday'. And my question is what do I do? It' s not the first time he does that
Sounds like he is sleeping around if I am honist why don'y you confront him about it
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Martyna23
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(Original post by New- Emperor)
Sounds like he is sleeping around if I am honist why don'y you confront him about it
I don't think he is sleeping around, that'a not an issue. And I've confronted him about it and told him how it makes me feel, but he only apologises and continues doing the same thing
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