Personal Statement Watch

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gaga_kid
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#1
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Why do personal statements sound soo cheesy...?!

Anyone got any great tips?

or where I can find example statements?
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Unregistered
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#2
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(Original post by gaga_kid)
Why do personal statements sound soo cheesy...?!

Anyone got any great tips?

or where I can find example statements?
Hey,

Perhaps try:

http://www.personalstatement.info/
loftx
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(Original post by Unregistered)
Hey,

Perhaps try:

http://www.personalstatement.info/
They charge you somthing like £5

Why not try my personal statement, or the examples on my site
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gaga_kid
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Every other sentence seems to start with an 'I' - really hate to keep using the personal pronoun... adds to the cheesyness!
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-al
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Agreed - try to stay away from the I this and I that. Don't try to enhance it by using language that is un necessary. Keep to the point as much as possible. If there's a specific course that you're interested in, make reference to aspects of the course (such as a specific module that you know about) in the statement.
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loftx
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You've gotta use I sometimes - the statement is about you after all. I agree though you proberbly don't want to overdo it.

Here are some more links - I haven't really looked at them all so dont know about thr quality:

http://www.uniapps.co.uk/ps-guide.htm
http://www.studentmax.co.uk/study/uc...s&poll_ident=5
http://www.merlinhelpsstudents.com/s...lstatement.asp
http://www.inkiboo.com/fun/ucas/
http://www.auroravisions.com/default.asp?PageNum=16
http://www.cottinghams.com/david/statement.html
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/lexcie/ucas.htm
http://www.wadhamsixth.org.uk/ucas_p..._statement.htm
http://www.reevery.net/me/persstat.php
http://www.larkhall.s-lanark.sch.uk/.../ucas_ps.shtml
http://www.tad-net.com/tadsweb/ucas.html
http://www.llandrillo.ac.uk/guidance...statements.htm
http://website.lineone.net/~matthew.carroll/ucas.html
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/...cas_form.shtml
http://www.uni4me.com/uni4me/how-do-.../getinsub1.cfm
http://www.gates-home.freeserve.co.uk/roa/ucas.htm
http://www.careers-portal.co.uk/ghe/..._statement.htm
http://www.chrisward.icom43.net/PS.htm
http://www.thesite.org/magazine/spec..._to_write.html
http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~ap...ucas/ucas.html
http://richardbowles.tripod.com/ucasform/personal.htm
http://www.revise.it/reviseit/uni/PersStatFromHell.asp
http://homepages.westminster.org.uk/.../ucas/ucas.asp
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loftx
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(Original post by -al)
If there's a specific course that you're interested in, make reference to aspects of the course (such as a specific module that you know about) in the statement.
Not sure about that - remember you are applying to 6 universities and the courses are likely to be slighly different. It's better to talk about your interests in certain subjects you're taking.
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Chicken
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(Original post by -al)
Agreed - try to stay away from the I this and I that. Don't try to enhance it by using language that is un necessary. Keep to the point as much as possible. If there's a specific course that you're interested in, make reference to aspects of the course (such as a specific module that you know about) in the statement.
Also, if you're saying about how you were picked as sports captain, for example, don't say "I was chosen as sports captain, due to my excellent leadership skills and organisational skills. My teachers felt I was the only choice for the job." It sounds very cocky. The aim is to try and sell your good qualities and achievements, but the trick is not to sound self-assured and cocky. When you write about your subjects, try and say what new skills its given you, like for me I wrote how I did AS French, and that it helped me communicate more easily, and improved my confidence talking to others.

Hope that helps!!!
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Leekey
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I have read the example of an IT personal statement on your site(s) and I really have to say...I HATE the guy who wrote it. When reading it he sounded so far up himself that I could only laugh.

Your PS looks great though, I can see why Oxford would be impressed by that!
Nylex
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My personal statement didn't really have much in it: why I wanted to do the course I was applying for (Comp Sci), computer related stuff I'd done (programming), things I enjoyed in my A Level subjects and a bit about work experience. It didn't take up all of the space given either, about half I think.
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loftx
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(Original post by Leekey)
I have read the example of an IT personal statement on your site(s) and I really have to say...I HATE the guy who wrote it. When reading it he sounded so far up himself that I could only laugh.

Your PS looks great though, I can see why Oxford would be impressed by that!
I have read one or two that were much worse - don't have copies of those though.
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Digz
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When I wrote mine, we were told to write approximately half about the subject you're going to do (why you want to do it etc), and the other half about personal achievements and interests. Personally, I began mine saying why Psychology (Chemistry, Medicine, English etc etc) intrested me in general terms, rather than specific course reference, and rounded off at the end with reference to the beginning. I like that better because it kept the P.S. as a complete unit, rather than just a list of "I did this" and "I did that". Do it however it suits you though, originality is good (since the admissions officers will be reading them in their thousands) but keep it to a style that reflects your strengths (ie if you sound better writing formally, don't write it as a chatty letter!). You'll know you've done it right when you actually start being impressed with yourself! hehe

D
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Anyone want to write my personal statement for me? I cant do it, i have been trying and trying and i cant get it right i am not going to uni, i am going to colllege but i still need a personal statment, i want to do a childcare course, diploma in childcare and education level 3!
justaguest
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(Original post by Guest)
Anyone want to write my personal statement for me? I cant do it, i have been trying and trying and i cant get it right i am not going to uni, i am going to colllege but i still need a personal statment, i want to do a childcare course, diploma in childcare and education level 3!
You shouldnt get someone else to do it for you because it wont be your 'voice' then, and you wont feel comfortable with it - much better to write it, however badly, then get a few other people to read through it and improve on it.
It shouldnt be too difficult to write one for childcare because its very vocational. Start off by writng what it is about being with children that you find interesting and enjoyable, you can then go into how you want to learn more about how children develop and think etc (to show that youre interested in the academic side not just the practical) then into your experience - babysitting , work experience, looking after young cousins or whatever, and here you can try to show that you have some of the necessary qualities (patience by the lorryload etc). Then you can finish off by going through things you have done at school and outside and if possible show how these activities gave you various qualities or skills that will be of use to you eg leadership, creativity music,drama or artistic skills etc.
Good luck, once you get started Im sure youll not find it too hard.
hildabeast
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(Original post by gaga_kid)
Why do personal statements sound soo cheesy...?!

Anyone got any great tips?

or where I can find example statements?
I know a guy who wrote about why he likes cows so much in his personal statement. Careers teachers warned him that this is not a good move, but he was accepted by all six UCAS choices. Lancaster even wrote to him to inform him that they were amused by his personal statement and were impressed because it was truly personal, unpretentious, and stood out from the rest.

The moral of the story is not necessarily to write about your favourite farm animal but to try and let your personality come across in what you write. Be a little bit unique in what you write, and make sure you put across your love for the subject; academics love to read that, and they can spot a genuine enthusiasm in the way you write. Remember, your personal statement has to stand out from all the others they have to sift through, so try not to bore admissions tutors to tears.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x
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Bumblebee3
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(Original post by hildabeast)
I know a guy who wrote about why he likes cows so much in his personal statement. Careers teachers warned him that this is not a good move, but he was accepted by all six UCAS choices. Lancaster even wrote to him to inform him that they were amused by his personal statement and were impressed because it was truly personal, unpretentious, and stood out from the rest.

The moral of the story is not necessarily to write about your favourite farm animal but to try and let your personality come across in what you write. Be a little bit unique in what you write, and make sure you put across your love for the subject; academics love to read that, and they can spot a genuine enthusiasm in the way you write. Remember, your personal statement has to stand out from all the others they have to sift through, so try not to bore admissions tutors to tears.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x
I saw one once that read something like this:

I am an enthusiastic student of many discliplines, and am quick to learn new skills. I own a record company and I have signed numerous successful artists. I am a champion baseball player and my chess skills are world famous. I have designed an attractive range of courdroy evening wear, met Elvis, performed open heart surgery but I have not yet been to university.

(course it was longer than that, above is a few extracts.) Be original, but not that original.
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Bhaal85
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(Original post by Haz)
I saw one once that read something like this:

I am an enthusiastic student of many discliplines, and am quick to learn new skills. I own a record company and I have signed numerous successful artists. I am a champion baseball player and my chess skills are world famous. I have designed an attractive range of courdroy evening wear, met Elvis, performed open heart surgery but I have not yet been to university.

(course it was longer than that, above is a few extracts.) Be original, but not that original.
Question people. I am repeating the year, and I have grades ABC in Computing, Buisiness Studies and Maths. I am resitting some modules to bump the grades up to AAB. Will unis hold it against me if I am repeating? Thanks.

(My first post)
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PQ
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You could always try something like this one
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Ellie
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(Original post by -al)
Agreed - try to stay away from the I this and I that. Don't try to enhance it by using language that is un necessary. Keep to the point as much as possible. If there's a specific course that you're interested in, make reference to aspects of the course (such as a specific module that you know about) in the statement.
What do you mean by "language that is unnecessary"? Because I have used big theseraus (!?) type words.. is that bad? should I cut some out a bit?

By the way I want to do Law.

Ellie
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Brown Patrick Bateman
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(Original post by Leekey)
I have read the example of an IT personal statement on your site(s) and I really have to say...I HATE the guy who wrote it. When reading it he sounded so far up himself that I could only laugh.

Your PS looks great though, I can see why Oxford would be impressed by that!
The IT personal statement has:
I currently study computing at A level, which I do not find hard and understand easily.

Hahahahahaha...
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