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Is work colleague being selfish or am I ? Watch

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    My work colleague could see I was struggling getting in and out of work via bus so she offered to take me aslong as I can get to and from her house so she can take me to work I said yes thats no problem and noe she expects me to pay petrol money everyweek first she asked for wine and I bought her wine and now its petrol money because "she didnt want to drink.anymore" im so angry so I have been paging petrol money a month and she doesnt go out of her way am I being slefish or is she
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    (Original post by Heartsx126)
    My work colleague could see I was struggling getting in and out of work via bus so she offered to take me aslong as I can get to and from her house so she can take me to work I said yes thats no problem and noe she expects me to pay petrol money everyweek first she asked for wine and I bought her wine and now its petrol money because "she didnt want to drink.anymore" im so angry so I have been paging petrol money a month and she doesnt go out of her way am I being slefish or is she
    I think as you'd be paying for the bus anyway, as long as it is a reasonable amount then i dont think it's selfish to ask for petrol money.
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    Hi there,

    its good to hear from you and to its a pleasure for me to try and help. I think you should consider how much money you would be spending, the time and inconvenience of taking a bus. You said you were struggling getting in and out via Bus. Humor her on your trips to/from work. I hope you work things out.

    Best wishes
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    Moved to Family, Friends and Work.

    No, she isn't being unreasonable. It's not unreasonable to expect petrol money.
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    Why would you have to pay for petrol money? She's going to work anyway regardless of you going with her or not, it's not like a long trip, so she's driving the same amount as usual.
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    Is getting to her house and paying half the fuel costs still preferable to getting the bus?

    If you're sharing the ride you share the cost, doesn't matter if she was making the journey anyway, there is an opportunity there to share the cost and be of mutual benefit to both of you. Just because she's gone to the trouble and expense of being a driver doesn't mean someone that hasn't deserves a free ride.
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    It appears that the main problem with this situation is that the terms of the arrangement were not settled from the beginning. Thus you didn't know exactly what you were getting into.

    Plus she offered to take you along. I would not offer to take someone along my usual route and then want petrol money from that person.

    In any event, like the others have said, do a cost benefit analysis and decide whether the arrangement with her is worth it.
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    (Original post by EC)
    Why would you have to pay for petrol money? She's going to work anyway regardless of you going with her or not, it's not like a long trip, so she's driving the same amount as usual.
    because this is a benefit for the OP and not the driver, why shouldn't the driver get something out of it too? OP would presumably be paying for a bus anyway

    also this could still be an inconvenience for many reasons - can't nip to the shop on the way home, might not get to listen to the radio, some people just don't like being stuck thinking about work (with colleagues) when they're not there

    it's not fair to just expect that because someone is a driver they should always drive everyone else around, they're paying a lot to have the benefit of a car so if others want to benefit then it's fair to do something in return
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    because this is a benefit for the OP and not the driver, why shouldn't the driver get something out of it too? OP would presumably be paying for a bus anyway

    also this could still be an inconvenience for many reasons - can't nip to the shop on the way home, might not get to listen to the radio, some people just don't like being stuck thinking about work (with colleagues) when they're not there

    it's not fair to just expect that because someone is a driver they should always drive everyone else around, they're paying a lot to have the benefit of a car so if others want to benefit then it's fair to do something in return
    It's obviously a different culture, my mom has been giving free rides to her colleagues for years and I've never actually heard of asking for money if you obviously offer to do something. I mean it's alright if the OP does something in return, like buying a drink or food, but requesting it like that from the OP..it is kind of weird.

    When you simply offer to do something, you don't expect something else in return. And it seems more convenient to take the bus in that case because the OP has to go to the driver's house anyway and also walk the distance from there home.
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    (Original post by EC)
    It's obviously a different culture, my mom has been giving free rides to her colleagues for years and I've never actually heard of asking for money if you obviously offer to do something. I mean it's alright if the OP does something in return, like buying a drink or food, but requesting it like that from the OP..it is kind of weird.

    When you simply offer to do something, you don't expect something else in return. And it seems more convenient to take the bus in that case because the OP has to go to the driver's house anyway and also walk the distance from there home.
    different people expect different things I guess... for me, as an example, I have a close friend who drives and I don't so when we go out she usually drives so I don't have to get a bus and tbh she's never asked for money but I'll regularly pay for a coffee or drink or whatever to say thanks, I think it's only right - if I was the driver and someone didn't offer then I wouldn't think it was too much to ask for the money/etc

    if it's one off rides then it's a different situation but this will presumably be 10 rides a week for a long period of time so it's reasonable to ask OP to chip in on petrol, then it benefits them both
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    You can't tell someone you're going to do something for them and then sneakily charge them later. That's just dishonest. Next time get out at the top of a hill and push her car down it.
 
 
 
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