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How do guys feel when they know they're just using a girl for sex? Watch

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    Do they feel guilty?
    What would a girl have to be like for you to be attracted enough to want to have sex with her regularly but not want to make her your GF?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do they feel guilty?
    What would a girl have to be like for you to be attracted enough to want to have sex with her regularly but not want to make her your GF?
    Hey Anon,

    So I speak both on the perspective of a guy, but also as a journalist that has actually worked in the field of sexuality/ relationships. So the below comment isn't necessarily my own experience, yet the average accumulation of those I've encountered.

    If a male is, with full intent, using a female for sex alone, it is likely he will feel a certain level of guilt, capped merely at a "I hope this won't hurt her too much" level.

    If that wasn't his original intent, but perhaps feelings changed during sex, or after, the guilt may be a lot more. He went into it with pure intentions, but because of his changed personal circumstances, he likely knows this would have more of an impact on him AND his partner.

    As for the attracted part, what a girl would have to be like...you don't have to be anything. Always strive to fulfil your own image to best please yourself, certainly not just to please a dude. Focus on improving yourself, doing things you enjoy, and then the right guy will come along and appreciate you for that without you trying!
    Or, just tell them from the get-go that you want to be friends with benefits...us guys can be a bit emotionally simplistic, sometimes, so it's always best to clarify things early on before our minds develop their own preconceptions on what is occurring.

    Hopefully that helped!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do they feel guilty?
    What would a girl have to be like for you to be attracted enough to want to have sex with her regularly but not want to make her your GF?
    We generally feel satisfied.
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    most of the time the girl is aware she's being used for sex

    how can she not be aware when he won't take her out, or act like he knows her in front of others, or introduce her to the bois and the fam...or help her when she's in a pickle or speak to her not just to ask for sex????...
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    Guilty: it is going to vary. Does she know this is what the deal is, or has she been lied to? Does the man care about the lying? (Some don't.)

    What she is doesn't matter - it's him that's doing the using, and some men will use anyone.

    (Ben, do you think she's lucky to have a man like you tell her how to be a woman?)
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    I would feel really awful, I dont personally agree with having sex before knowing the person well and wanting a relationship.
    Most of me loving a person (Sexually) is personality and how much I actually like them, for me it is around 10% looks and 90% personality, as long as you look respectable and not too fat. I would find it pretty unbearable to do,I dont think I could as I dislike the idea of casual sex

    Even if I did I would feel awful I would not enjoy casual sex.
    But as how I would feel for the girl I would feel sorry for her and probably feel that she was thinking simmilarlly to me (I know a lot of people dont)
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    (Original post by Benjamin Wareing)
    Hey Anon,

    As for the attracted part, what a girl would have to be like...you don't have to be anything. Always strive to fulfil your own image to best please yourself, certainly not just to please a dude. Focus on improving yourself, doing things you enjoy, and then the right guy will come along and appreciate you for that without you trying!
    I think by the "What would a girl have to be like for you to be attracted enough to want to have sex with her regularly but not want to make her your GF?" bit OP means what sort of a girl do guys view good enough for sex but not good enough for a serious relationship.

    And to answer that bit I'd say maybe the guy just really doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone at that point in his life, but if thats not the case (and this is much more likely imo) a guy pulling a stunt like this probably just really wants sex and doesn't like the girl enough as a person to want to make them their gf and/or is only borderline into the girl in the first place.

    I'd say most guys are pretty good at separating the feelings of lust and those of romantic attraction...probably quite a lot more so than most women.

    Personally, I'd definitely feel guilty about it. In that situation I'd much rather there was an honest understanding that it was just sex right from the get-go.
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    I doubt I could do it, I think sex generates emotional attachment for me tbh
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    I've been in contact with girls only and purely for sexual purposes, but I wouldn't say I've ever used a girl for sex. I've always made clear right off the bat, I'm not interested in dates, a relationship or anything that comes with either, it's just sex, and if they're not okay with that I won't string them along. You'd be surprised at how many girls are fine with it if you're just straight up with them in the right kind of way.
    • #2
    #2

    I speak from my own experience.

    I feel do feel a fair sense of guilt. I could argue that I made it clear to her I was trying to get over a previous relationship, but in truth I could see it in her eyes she wanted a relationship. I feel guilty enough to have cut her completely out of my life, but do I regret it? No. I was in a dark place after the aforementioned relationship, and I was desperate to try and forget about it completely.

    If a guy doesn't feel guilty, he's probs a psychopath.
 
 
 
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