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Best way's to meet a girl/guy when you're really shy? DISCUSS Watch

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    Good evening everyone!

    I'm here to try and create a discussion that will hopefully help me out a bit, but also help anyone else that is experiencing the same problem as me.

    I tend to find myself as a really shy person. For example, I hardly ever talk to people due to a major lack of friends, I find it difficult to keep a conversation going, etc. And now I'm experiencing the struggles of trying to get a girlfriend.

    I try to talk to girls but as a result of my lack of attractiveness, lack of conversation and also my shy persona, in general, I find it extremely difficult. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? I've tried going to outdoor clubs/activities and stuff like that but it hasn't really worked out. Neither has getting a job, so any help is appreciated!

    (P.S if any girls are experiencing any problems like this about getting a boyfriend then reply down here! I'll see if there's anything I can do + maybe there are other great TSR people out there who can help you too! )
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    One step at a time... Build up your base confidence first. Get talking to people more, girls wont go near you if you struggle to hold convos with them or people in general.
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    (Original post by ABrooks99)
    Good evening everyone!

    I'm here to try and create a discussion that will hopefully help me out a bit, but also help anyone else that is experiencing the same problem as me.

    I tend to find myself as a really shy person. For example, I hardly ever talk to people due to a major lack of friends, I find it difficult to keep a conversation going, etc. And now I'm experiencing the struggles of trying to get a girlfriend.

    I try to talk to girls but as a result of my lack of attractiveness, lack of conversation and also my shy persona, in general, I find it extremely difficult. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? I've tried going to outdoor clubs/activities and stuff like that but it hasn't really worked out. Neither has getting a job, so any help is appreciated!

    (P.S if any girls are experiencing any problems like this about getting a boyfriend then reply down here! I'll see if there's anything I can do + maybe there are other great TSR people out there who can help you too! )

    Lots of guys are shy and have the same problems. The biggest problem is that you think too much about the situation because of inhibitions. Unfortunately its all to do with chemicals in the brain and stuff. I don't wanna suggest you get into drinking or anything but the best way to get into it is to not look for a girlfriend. Just look for a friend. Which happens to be a girl. You probably get a hundred chances a day to make friends with girls but pass them by because they don't fit your idea of a girlfriend. If thats not the case then you just gotta have a reason to go places where girls hang out. Maybe join a chess club or something.
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    (Original post by K-Nitro)
    One step at a time... Build up your base confidence first. Get talking to people more, girls wont go near you if you struggle to hold convos with them or people in general.
    I'm slowly building up my confidence more, but I just struggle keeping a conversation, plus, I don't really have many good places around me to meet them :/
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    Being shy can be hard because if you are uncomfortable then it can make others uncomfortable and then a feedback loop of discomfort starts.

    Girls don't like feedback loops of discomfort. Believe me.

    If you can work on becoming an interesting person who has things to talk about it can help. Invest time in your interests and think about ways you can talk about these with others. Work on your confidence in general by talking with people, joining groups that involve talking (like a book or film club that involves discussion).

    If you are not in shape then starting a regular exercise/work out routine can do a lot to boost your confidence. Work on your posture. A quiet guy who carries himself with some dignity can be very noticible to girls.

    If you are not funny then learn how to be. Girls love to laugh and it helps relax them and make them see your good qualities.

    When I was younger I was very shy but overtime as I became more engaged in my interests and more comfortable with my body my confidence grew a lot.
    Now I find it very easy to approach (and to sleep with) attractive women (even English girls) but into took time to get to this point.

    Go slowly and don't be hard on yourself for missteps along the way.
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    Dating is generally tough and probably being extravert is some advantage. Most people I think tend to some social shyness. I am moderately shy and find initiating conversation difficult and feel much better in one to one situations than a party environment. The quest for a bf/gf brings out spirit and the shy find relationships. Perhaps focus on girls who have a bit more of a shy persona too. Play to your strengths, work on your weaknesses, perhaps see a young persons concillor - they can be really on your wavelength and help with confidence and strategies.
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    (Original post by K-Nitro)
    One step at a time... Build up your base confidence first. Get talking to people more, girls wont go near you if you struggle to hold convos with them or people in general.
    I feel like I have some confidence, but it's not like 100% total confidence. And it's hard to talk to people when they're usually always in groups
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    (Original post by Dom§Zacheer)
    Lots of guys are shy and have the same problems. The biggest problem is that you think too much about the situation because of inhibitions. Unfortunately its all to do with chemicals in the brain and stuff. I don't wanna suggest you get into drinking or anything but the best way to get into it is to not look for a girlfriend. Just look for a friend. Which happens to be a girl. You probably get a hundred chances a day to make friends with girls but pass them by because they don't fit your idea of a girlfriend. If thats not the case then you just gotta have a reason to go places where girls hang out. Maybe join a chess club or something.
    I've been looking for a girl as a friend for a while but it hasn't really worked. The best I've gotten is a girl in my Art class, but we're like completely opposite people so outside of the lesson we don't usually talk. And I wish I had that many chances a day to make friends with girls! Seems more like once a month haha. I've tried going to after-clubs but that hasn;t really worked either...
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    I hate being shy! It comes across as stuck up and aloof sometimes which is actually the opposite of what I am
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    (Original post by FranktheYank)
    Being shy can be hard because if you are uncomfortable then it can make others uncomfortable and then a feedback loop of discomfort starts.

    Girls don't like feedback loops of discomfort. Believe me.

    If you can work on becoming an interesting person who has things to talk about it can help. Invest time in your interests and think about ways you can talk about these with others. Work on your confidence in general by talking with people, joining groups that involve talking (like a book or film club that involves discussion).

    If you are not in shape then starting a regular exercise/work out routine can do a lot to boost your confidence. Work on your posture. A quiet guy who carries himself with some dignity can be very noticible to girls.

    If you are not funny then learn how to be. Girls love to laugh and it helps relax them and make them see your good qualities.

    When I was younger I was very shy but overtime as I became more engaged in my interests and more comfortable with my body my confidence grew a lot.
    Now I find it very easy to approach (and to sleep with) attractive women (even English girls) but into took time to get to this point.

    Go slowly and don't be hard on yourself for missteps along the way.
    What if you're rather unsure on what your interests are? Apart from standard stuff like video games, sports, etc. I can't really think of anything interesting that I like to do. Also, I've tried the group stuff but I haven't really found any benefits with it.

    I suppose my body shape is okay, neither fat or skinny, so average I suppose? What good exercises are there to do other than walk/run? I occasionally try to do both but I haven't really found many benefits with it, other than getting some good exercise of course.

    How does one become funny?
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    (Original post by Supernova91)
    I hate being shy! It comes across as stuck up and aloof sometimes which is actually the opposite of what I am
    I know exactly how you feel!
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    From what people tell me the best way to meet a girl/guy to date as a shy person seems to be just finding them completely by accident. As more of a shy person myself the best conversations I manage to have is when I don't think about what I'm saying as opposed to when I **** myself and overthink it all to death.
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    (Original post by ABrooks99)
    I've been looking for a girl as a friend for a while but it hasn't really worked. The best I've gotten is a girl in my Art class, but we're like completely opposite people so outside of the lesson we don't usually talk. And I wish I had that many chances a day to make friends with girls! Seems more like once a month haha. I've tried going to after-clubs but that hasn;t really worked either...
    My best advice is try start becoming acquainted with people you specifically don't want to be in a relationship with, such as old people if there are any, because old peeps will always value your friendship cos no one talks to them . this will create a basis for people to vouch for you, which is more important than people realise. All people (girls) will watch you first to see how you interact with other people before they even come near you. If the people you chat with are calm and cool, as old people are usually, it will make you calm and seem cool. The more you are seen talking etc the more girls will be curious about you. Then they will approach you and give you a chance to put your foot in your mouth Have faith in yourself, and all will be well.
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    Hiii , it also depends on your hobbies and stuff. I love being on the Internet and just finding weird memes and stuff. And watching gaming channels etc. What are your hobbies. Maybe we can become friends 😊
 
 
 
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