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    I have recently broken up with my boyfriend and finding it really difficult to deal with. I was/am in love with him and he was the first decent guy I had been in a relationship with. He said he didnt love me anymore and he blamed everything on me saying I would argue for no reason and am unable to move on from them and and apparently I caused all arguments. He believes he did not cause or contribute towards any argument we had. I find this extremely unfair of him and aswell as feeling heartbroken I feel I have now also lost confidence in myself. I'm also starting to believe there is no such thing as the right person. People breakup and get divorced all the time, some people never 'meet the right person'

    People say you have to be happy by yourself before happy in a relationship. I'm not sure i even know how and I don't think I have ever truly been happy being single. Life feels very dark right now and I have lost faith. I only have a few good friends and I can't see them 24/7. Aswell as losing a boyfriend, a year ago one of my parents died and have progressively drifted apart from one of my really good friends. I'm also not enjoying my uni course anymore and nearly failed one of my placements.

    How does heartbreak get easier? :-/ I don't know how to make myself happy
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    Hello,
    My boyfriend broke up with me two months ago as his feelings had changed suddenly and he'd decided he may be asexual, it was the first healthy relationship I've ever had and I've been feeling completely lost without him, especially as his sudden loss of interest made me doubt whether his heart had ever been in our relationship. I'm terribly sorry to hear you lost a parent, I can't imagine how painful that must have been and to have a break up on top of that it must feel like the pain just keeps on mounting up. Being satisfied with being alone is what I'm aiming for but I'm also finding it difficult and don't really known where to start as a lot of my self esteem is tied up in my relationships with guys. For the first month after we broke up I just had to sit the grief out and deal with it however I could, more recently I've been trying to use self improvement to make myself feel better but it's hard when some days I can hardly bear to get out of bed. From my past experiences of love I know it won't feel like this forever but that doesn't help when the pain is still so raw. Talking it out helps a bit but I feel like my friends have gotten tired of the subject now and expect me to have moved on. If you're in a similar situation and would like to talk about it I'd be more than happy to listen.
    Best wishes,
    Izzy

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have recently broken up with my boyfriend and finding it really difficult to deal with. I was/am in love with him and he was the first decent guy I had been in a relationship with. He said he didnt love me anymore and he blamed everything on me saying I would argue for no reason and am unable to move on from them and and apparently I caused all arguments. He believes he did not cause or contribute towards any argument we had. I find this extremely unfair of him and aswell as feeling heartbroken I feel I have now also lost confidence in myself. I'm also starting to believe there is no such thing as the right person. People breakup and get divorced all the time, some people never 'meet the right person'

    People say you have to be happy by yourself before happy in a relationship. I'm not sure i even know how and I don't think I have ever truly been happy being single. Life feels very dark right now and I have lost faith. I only have a few good friends and I can't see them 24/7. Aswell as losing a boyfriend, a year ago one of my parents died and have progressively drifted apart from one of my really good friends. I'm also not enjoying my uni course anymore and nearly failed one of my placements.

    How does heartbreak get easier? :-/ I don't know how to make myself happy
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    (Original post by queenoftheiceni)
    Hello,
    My boyfriend broke up with me two months ago as his feelings had changed suddenly and he'd decided he may be asexual, it was the first healthy relationship I've ever had and I've been feeling completely lost without him, especially as his sudden loss of interest made me doubt whether his heart had ever been in our relationship. I'm terribly sorry to hear you lost a parent, I can't imagine how painful that must have been and to have a break up on top of that it must feel like the pain just keeps on mounting up. Being satisfied with being alone is what I'm aiming for but I'm also finding it difficult and don't really known where to start as a lot of my self esteem is tied up in my relationships with guys. For the first month after we broke up I just had to sit the grief out and deal with it however I could, more recently I've been trying to use self improvement to make myself feel better but it's hard when some days I can hardly bear to get out of bed. From my past experiences of love I know it won't feel like this forever but that doesn't help when the pain is still so raw. Talking it out helps a bit but I feel like my friends have gotten tired of the subject now and expect me to have moved on. If you're in a similar situation and would like to talk about it I'd be more than happy to listen.
    Best wishes,
    Izzy
    Thanks for the message. Sorry to hear you are going through something similar. I may PM you sometime..
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    People of this kind are largely a waste of time. Real issues like risk of homelessness, money issues etc concern me more than "love", etc.
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    (Original post by 23ojrfyb)
    People of this kind are largely a waste of time. Real issues like risk of homelessness, money issues etc concern me more than "love", etc.
    Thanks that was very helpful..
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    Sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. In all honesty, the majority of break ups are difficulty to some degree and your feelings are completely normal. Please know that it will slowly get better, even if its hard to believe so now. I was always a bit sceptical about the whole love yourself ect, but after being in a similar situation this summer I decided to focus on myself, kind of as a destraction but also just to feel better and it really improved my mood and how I feel about myself in general. I made an effort to catch up with old friends, get all my studying in order and find a summer job. It's difficult to be proactive when you feel awful but start small and it becomes easier. At the same time, I never forced myself to "get over it" or tried to rush myself into feeling better, because this can make you feel even worse! Whilst you can't change the past focus on current issues that you can change.
    Try and pinpoint whilst you're not happy with your uni course? Is it the current section of the course- maybe this term there will be things that interest you more? Could you speak to someone at uni for advice? (sorry not at uni yet so not sure who this would be!) Reach out and make contact with your friend. Maybe try and make a commitment everyday/ every other day that forces you to get up and out, even if its just a study session in the library or coffee with a friend. It will be hard at first but so worth it in the long term.


    Hope this helps xx
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by maroumarou)
    Sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. In all honesty, the majority of break ups are difficulty to some degree and your feelings are completely normal. Please know that it will slowly get better, even if its hard to believe so now. I was always a bit sceptical about the whole love yourself ect, but after being in a similar situation this summer I decided to focus on myself, kind of as a destraction but also just to feel better and it really improved my mood and how I feel about myself in general. I made an effort to catch up with old friends, get all my studying in order and find a summer job. It's difficult to be proactive when you feel awful but start small and it becomes easier. At the same time, I never forced myself to "get over it" or tried to rush myself into feeling better, because this can make you feel even worse! Whilst you can't change the past focus on current issues that you can change.
    Try and pinpoint whilst you're not happy with your uni course? Is it the current section of the course- maybe this term there will be things that interest you more? Could you speak to someone at uni for advice? (sorry not at uni yet so not sure who this would be!) Reach out and make contact with your friend. Maybe try and make a commitment everyday/ every other day that forces you to get up and out, even if its just a study session in the library or coffee with a friend. It will be hard at first but so worth it in the long term.


    Hope this helps xx
    Thanks for your reply. Yeah it does become easier over time I hope, just got to hang in there
 
 
 
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