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    I am currently 16 and have had an on/off thing with a boy for around 3 years now, however we haven't actually went on a real date. We are in the same friend group and every time we go out as a group we end up together. He says he loves me but if he goes out with his friends, just the boys, they end up asking other girls to do something and he will be with another girl which makes me annoyed. This has happened a lot and my friends tell me to forget about him because he doesn't treat me right and I deserve better, but whenever I try to, something always happens and I end up right back where I started. He has previously told me that he has commitment issues but I think he is just scared to make it serious with me incase something goes wrong and he loses me as a friend. I don't understand what would be stopping him from trying to have something with me because I know we both want to. I have met his family and I feel comfortable with him but I can't keep this going on for another year. advice please?
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    If you don't want to keep going as you are, you either need to take control of the relationship yourself, tell him you like him and ask him out or you need to call it a day which means rejecting his advances.

    I can see where your friends are coming from. He says he loves you but his actions don't reflect that which seems a bit sleazy. I don't know him so may be he is scared of rejection or something which is why if you want to take it further it is up to you to take the lead now. 3 years is enough waiting.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am currently 16 and have had an on/off thing with a boy for around 3 years now, however we haven't actually went on a real date. We are in the same friend group and every time we go out as a group we end up together. He says he loves me but if he goes out with his friends, just the boys, they end up asking other girls to do something and he will be with another girl which makes me annoyed. This has happened a lot and my friends tell me to forget about him because he doesn't treat me right and I deserve better, but whenever I try to, something always happens and I end up right back where I started. He has previously told me that he has commitment issues but I think he is just scared to make it serious with me incase something goes wrong and he loses me as a friend. I don't understand what would be stopping him from trying to have something with me because I know we both want to. I have met his family and I feel comfortable with him but I can't keep this going on for another year. advice please?
    Honestly just wouldn't bother trying with him. If it's been going on for a long time and he hasn't made a commitment he probably doesn't want to. I agree with your friends
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am currently 16 and have had an on/off thing with a boy for around 3 years now, however we haven't actually went on a real date. We are in the same friend group and every time we go out as a group we end up together. He says he loves me but if he goes out with his friends, just the boys, they end up asking other girls to do something and he will be with another girl which makes me annoyed. This has happened a lot and my friends tell me to forget about him because he doesn't treat me right and I deserve better, but whenever I try to, something always happens and I end up right back where I started. He has previously told me that he has commitment issues but I think he is just scared to make it serious with me incase something goes wrong and he loses me as a friend. I don't understand what would be stopping him from trying to have something with me because I know we both want to. I have met his family and I feel comfortable with him but I can't keep this going on for another year. advice please?
    You dont have a real relationship. No real date. Stop wasting your time and letting him waste it. If he was interested he woul have told you and this commitment issues is just another way of pretending, when in fact he is not interested in the slightest. Spend your time on yourself and be open to when you meet someone who thinks you are worth commiting to.
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    You've known him for three years, thus since you were 13, and have an on/off "thing" with a boy...
    ...really?

    Disregarding the fact that this isn't a relationship, you're quite young to be having to tolerate this sort of behavior. Not to mention how I can even fathom this guy has "commitment issues" in such a short period of time of actually being interested in the opposite sex (IE. puberty).

    Honestly, cut him loose and don't even bother with him. If he's going off with other girls, allegedly not treating you right and you find yourself "drawn in" to a situation you're unhappy with, do you really think that what you have is healthy? I can answer that for you. No. No it isn't.

    You sound like a sensible girl so take my (our?) advice; walk away from this. It'll do you some good and it'll open you up to new and better opportunities, including meeting someone who isn't going to waste your time.

    Good luck.
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    I agree with most posters here. A guy having commitment issues since the age of 13? I suspect he's just young, immature and not ready for a committed relationship.

    You can't expect anything from him, but you can ask him if he'd be willing to commit. If not, then I'd advise to stop the entire friendship since you said you can't help but get back with him.
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    For your own sanity honestly just cut him loose. It will be very hard at first, but you do deserve better than just to be messed around with. Judge by the deeds of someone not just words alone. Real love isn't mistreating someone who has only tried to care about you.
 
 
 
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