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Anxiety about relationships etc Watch

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    I'm 17, and I've had a few 'things' with boys that I met at college, but nothing relationship worthy. The first one I lost my first kiss with, which was more like a first snog, and I didn't feel anxious about that , it was just we wouldn't talk - all we'd do when we were together was make out, this only happened 2 time and then I told him it won't work out! And then about 8 months later I met another boy at college who seemed okay and he came back to mine 2 times and we just cuddled - that's it - no kiss or anything. And I just felt awkward 😐 But he then cut me off and is now dating this other girl at college, which he didn't tell me about, and that really upset me. And made me question all the time stuff like, 'am I not good enough?', 'where did I go wrong?', 'what has she got that I haven't?'. And it really bothered me! And now I really can't be bothered to have another thing nevermind a relationship 😫, I would like a long term relationship, my brother has had a gf for 2 years, and I don't see where I'm going wrong?! Like I'm a nice person, not a slut or promiscuous, I feel like I deserve a relationship 😫!! But I'm now scared of letting boys in!! They always say I can trust them etc...and then they just mess me around!! I'm a virgin, this is because I think I'd find the whole sex thing awkward!! When I was making out with a boy, I moaned and he laughed!!?! Wtf?! It makes me so anxious, idk what to do?!! How do I get proper close to a boy, instead of it being a careless thing? I'm off to uni in September, so hopefully I might meet someone there but there's always better girls than me 🙃😐 there's nothing wrong with me!!! Someone help? Please? I have no one to talk to about this!!
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