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Right to be suspicious or paranoid? Watch

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    Hi Everyone
    I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or I'm justified in being worried.
    My boyfriend and I haven't been together for that long (just under 6 months) but we're serious and comitted. We discussed a future together and I love him to bits, I'd do anything to support him and make him happy. He's massively important to me, I can't stress that enough, and until very recently I didn't doubt that it was reciprocated.
    We met at work and still work together, me part time around college and him full time. He's friends with another girl from work and I get on with her sell enough but they're very close and spend time together, for example they go to the gym together alot. It never used to bother me but I feel like he's being more secretive?
    For example, he doesn't tell me he's going to the gym unless he's already on his way there and he doesn't tell me he's going with her, and then when I talk to him he'll slip up and say "us" or "her" or "she" and when I ask who he was with he looks wary of saying her name.
    Also, this morning I asked him if he wanted to see me tomorrow night and he said he couldn't because he was going to the gym, but he didn't know what time because he wasn't sure what time she'd be free or if she'd cancel on him. If they had arranged plans that would be a bit different but he's turning down spending time with me on the off chance that she's available? Or that's what it sounds like to me?
    I've had a few serious relationships in the past and to be honest they've mostly ended badly. But I've learned that if I have a gut feeling that something isn't right, eventually it comes out that I've been right. For example, I suspected that my last ex split up with me very suddenly to get together with someone else and less than a week after we split up they were dating. And I hate it but I have that same gut feeling now :/ saying that, I do believe that my previous experiences have damaged my ability to trust partners so I don't know whether I'm just being paranoid.
    Any genuine and serious answers and opinions welcome, thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi Everyone
    I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or I'm justified in being worried.
    My boyfriend and I haven't been together for that long (just under 6 months) but we're serious and comitted. We discussed a future together and I love him to bits, I'd do anything to support him and make him happy. He's massively important to me, I can't stress that enough, and until very recently I didn't doubt that it was reciprocated.
    We met at work and still work together, me part time around college and him full time. He's friends with another girl from work and I get on with her sell enough but they're very close and spend time together, for example they go to the gym together alot. It never used to bother me but I feel like he's being more secretive?
    For example, he doesn't tell me he's going to the gym unless he's already on his way there and he doesn't tell me he's going with her, and then when I talk to him he'll slip up and say "us" or "her" or "she" and when I ask who he was with he looks wary of saying her name.
    Also, this morning I asked him if he wanted to see me tomorrow night and he said he couldn't because he was going to the gym, but he didn't know what time because he wasn't sure what time she'd be free or if she'd cancel on him. If they had arranged plans that would be a bit different but he's turning down spending time with me on the off chance that she's available? Or that's what it sounds like to me?
    I've had a few serious relationships in the past and to be honest they've mostly ended badly. But I've learned that if I have a gut feeling that something isn't right, eventually it comes out that I've been right. For example, I suspected that my last ex split up with me very suddenly to get together with someone else and less than a week after we split up they were dating. And I hate it but I have that same gut feeling now :/ saying that, I do believe that my previous experiences have damaged my ability to trust partners so I don't know whether I'm just being paranoid.
    Any genuine and serious answers and opinions welcome, thank you.
    Have you spoken to him about just telling you honestly when he wants to spend time with a friend? Maybe he's concerned you d be jealous of them hence the secrecy.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    Have you spoken to him about just telling you honestly when he wants to spend time with a friend? Maybe he's concerned you d be jealous of them hence the secrecy.
    I agree with this, he may just be worried about how it comes across to you. It's definitely worth talking to him before worrying too much.

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