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    Me and my best friend have known each other since we were 16 and honestly I'm beginning to hate her. She was super shy when I first met her and she didn't really have any mates so she hung around with my group of secondary school mates..We got super close and I noticed she would copy my mannerisms or buy the same clothes as me etc. I didn't really mind that much but last year, I noticed a mean streak within her. Like I recieved an offer from a top uni and I considered retaking one of my modules but she went out of her way to convince me that I shouldn't do it. When I didn't get into that uni cause of not retaking that module she was like 'lol oh well'..it's as if she takes happiness in my failure.

    We're both at different uni's now in our hometown but even then she has a problem with me talking to new people etc. I also signed up to do this job thing abroad and her first response was 'omg imagine if WE did that, WE would make so much money etc and I'm just there like arrghh leave me tf alone. Has anyone else felt like this or am I overreacting?
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    She is frightened that you will leave her. Perhaps convincing you not to retake your module was to prevent you from moving away. You were kind to show sympathy to her in high school by talking to her, but you are under no obligation to continue. Copying your behaviour and your clothing is just weird. She doesn't like you talking to new people because she wants you all to herself. She sounds like a toxic person with many personality issues. Leave her and find better friends.
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    (Original post by habeas.corpus)
    She is frightened that you will leave her. Perhaps convincing you not to retake your module was to prevent you from moving away. You were kind to show sympathy to her in high school by talking to her, but you are under no obligation to continue. Copying your behaviour and your clothing is just weird. She doesn't like you talking to new people because she wants you all to herself. She sounds like a toxic person with many personality issues. Leave her and find better friends.
    Thanks for your response, I've never really actively cut people out of my life before and with her people literally say we're joint to the hip...how do I go about it? Should I stop meeting up with her and then completely phase her out of my life?
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    She seems to be fearful of losing you as a friend, which obviously is negative and which is making it hard for you to like her, but on the other hand, the two of you didn't become close in the first place for no reason. Why did you become close in the first place?
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    (Original post by cosmic angel)
    She seems to be fearful of losing you as a friend, which obviously is negative and which is making it hard for you to like her, but on the other hand, the two of you didn't become close in the first place for no reason. Why did you become close in the first place?
    I genuinely don't know, like even now we don't have much in common tbh. I'm quite outgoing, she's shy (came out of her shell more when we began hanging out), we don't like the same type of music/movies, she has a curfew, I don't. I think in college we both sort of just latched onto each other in the beginning stages cause everyone was so desperate to make friends. She was okay initially, then I began picking up on how she would buy the same jacket or say similar phrases. I've noticed her mean streak more and more lately. Like she comes down to my uni every time she's free which means I barely met anyone last term cause we both just stuck together. Its just slowly dawning on me now that I rarely do anything without her, she's always there and its so unnerving.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your response, I've never really actively cut people out of my life before and with her people literally say we're joint to the hip...how do I go about it? Should I stop meeting up with her and then completely phase her out of my life?
    Your "friend" doesn't sound like a nice person. Perhaps you are the first friend she has ever had, which may be one explanation to her odd behaviour. She deliberately sabotaged your uni situation for her own gain. If I were in your position, I would cut her off. You can do it gradually, by meeting up far less than you usually would. Don't message or text her. If she messages you, give short (yet polite) replies.

    Traveling to your university every time she is free is seriously odd behaviour (she's dependant on you). It suggests that she has no other friends of her own and no hobbies. The fact you barely met anyone one last term means she must have been with you a hell of a lot. Your friend doesn't want you to have your own friends. She's clingy and neurotic.

    If your friend asks to meet-up, stop saying yes every single time. Strictly limit time spent with her to once a week max, and if her behaviour/ personality is still toxic, work on cutting her out completely. Tell her that you are busy doing X. You should be using your time to study, join societies, take up a hobby and meet new people. You don't belong to anyone and deserve your own life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I genuinely don't know, like even now we don't have much in common tbh. I'm quite outgoing, she's shy (came out of her shell more when we began hanging out), we don't like the same type of music/movies, she has a curfew, I don't. I think in college we both sort of just latched onto each other in the beginning stages cause everyone was so desperate to make friends. She was okay initially, then I began picking up on how she would buy the same jacket or say similar phrases. I've noticed her mean streak more and more lately. Like she comes down to my uni every time she's free which means I barely met anyone last term cause we both just stuck together. Its just slowly dawning on me now that I rarely do anything without her, she's always there and its so unnerving.
    You haven't expressed anything good about this friendship. If you really don't like her or want her friendship, theres nothing wrong with that. However the only right thing to do in that situation is be completely open and honest about it and just say you don't want to be friends/hang out anymore.

    She'll still get upset about it, but much less so than if you became more distant and she became more fearful, worried and clingy, which'll just bring a lot of pain to you both.

    However, I still think people don't become close for no reason. If you're just feeling frustrated in the moment but think this friendship is worth maintaining in the long run, you should talk to your friend about how her behavior is and how it's making you feel. She might back off and change and you might go back to being good friends again.
 
 
 
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