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I hate smartphones; people obsess over them. watch

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    Does anyone else have this problem in their relationships where people are more interested in playing with their phone than having a conversation?

    I start 2 new modules at university next term which I'm worried about - I didn't make any friends last term despite my attempts. When waiting outside rooms for class, literally everyone was on their phone. I tried talking to people but it was clear they wanted to be left alone.

    Even my girlfriend is often more attentive to her phone than me. We live together so I get that it can be kind of intense. However, when we go out for food she'll tinker on her phone until the food arrives, ignoring me, and will eat with 1 hand with her phone in the other.

    I don't understand how to make friends when everyone is so engrossed with their phone. I feel really hurt by my girlfriend's behaviour too.
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    I use my phone a lot and I do feel that it's making me more and more anti-social.

    The thing is, it's a bit strange that your girlfriend would be ignoring you though. Is this even when you're trying to make conversation with her? I think that's the problem that you should be addressing tbh. How is she when she's chilling with you outside of a restaurant?
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    (Original post by UWS)
    I use my phone a lot and I do feel that it's making me more and more anti-social.

    The thing is, it's a bit strange that your girlfriend would be ignoring you though. Is this even when you're trying to make conversation with her? I think that's the problem that you should be addressing tbh. How is she when she's chilling with you outside of a restaurant?
    We've been together a long time and live together so I understand that talking 24/7 shouldn't be expected. But yes, I do try to talk to her and she answers curtly then goes back to her phone. We were cuddling in bed the other day because I was feeling **** and sure enough, out came the phone. It's like I have to compete with this magic box full of interesting things and I don't understand how I can.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together a long time and live together so I understand that talking 24/7 shouldn't be expected. But yes, I do try to talk to her and she answers curtly then goes back to her phone. We were cuddling in bed the other day because I was feeling **** and sure enough, out came the phone. It's like I have to compete with this magic box full of interesting things and I don't understand how I can.
    Hmm, has she always been like this? What does she do on her phone?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anyone else have this problem in their relationships where people are more interested in playing with their phone than having a conversation?

    I start 2 new modules at university next term which I'm worried about - I didn't make any friends last term despite my attempts. When waiting outside rooms for class, literally everyone was on their phone. I tried talking to people but it was clear they wanted to be left alone.

    Even my girlfriend is often more attentive to her phone than me. We live together so I get that it can be kind of intense. However, when we go out for food she'll tinker on her phone until the food arrives, ignoring me, and will eat with 1 hand with her phone in the other.

    I don't understand how to make friends when everyone is so engrossed with their phone. I feel really hurt by my girlfriend's behaviour too.
    FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT. All my friends are like this too.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Hmm, has she always been like this? What does she do on her phone?
    Smartphones weren't a thing when we started going out. I got one 3 years ago and she would ask to borrow it, then would sit engrossed in my phone. Then 1.5 years ago she got her own and since then I've found it very hard to compete.

    She reads the news mostly (she studied politics and is interested in that field) but also fantasy sports, wikipedia and facebook.
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    (Original post by gameofno)
    FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT. All my friends are like this too.
    What do they do? Do they all stand around staring at their phones when you meet with them?
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    I understand this and I myself an guilty of being on my phone during meals out. However, what made me conscious of this was when I felt I wasn't being listened to when my friends would be on their phones because I'd get "mhm" "aha" responses. That's what made me realise how ridiculous this phone habit was so now I make an effort to leave my phone in my bag. Perhaps tell your girlfriend that it makes you feel like you're not listened to - if she cares about you she'll want to change that.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Smartphones weren't a thing when we started going out. I got one 3 years ago and she would ask to borrow it, then would sit engrossed in my phone. Then 1.5 years ago she got her own and since then I've found it very hard to compete.

    She reads the news mostly (she studied politics and is interested in that field) but also fantasy sports, wikipedia and facebook.
    You can't compete with wikipedia. Nobody can. That thing is a gift from the Lord.

    Are you sure you're not being overly sensitive? I haven't seen anyone being so absorbed by their phone that they ignore me all the time.
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    I cannot bear them for how unbelievably rude they make people and perhaps made when I had one. My own phone now is (seriously) the Nokia 6300, which I implausibly hope to suggest as retro-chic. It was mobile phone of the year in 2007 (!)
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    This is hands down the most annoying thing ever and how do some people think it's acceptable to ignore someone for a phone. :sigh: You'll just be sitting there having a meal and trying to talk to them or wanting to but you can't bc they will be on their phone. I hate that this has made me have to go on my phone to kill time or ease tension when the other person is on their phone and it seems like I'm the culprit after. Smh. It literally can ruin relationships bc even though it's a communication device it hinders some people's natural communication ability, which is key in any type of relationship. :rolleyes:

    It's strange bc don't people realise that if they're texting someone while spending time with someone else it's kinda a huge slap across the face?

    I don't know how to help you OP but if it's so severe then perhaps try talking about it? Suggest you two go on some fun outings - like leisure activities - where you can't really go on your phone.
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    They are a bit of a menace. Met an old friend for first time in a long while and he spent half the time on his phone! People don't seem able to exist without playing, checking or photographing something. Must be a godsend for girls that want to be left alone and not hit on, mind. I see the need for legislation eg photographing your dinner in a restaurant a criminal offence. In the meanwhile see if you can agree some boundaries with you gf. Good luck.
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    An ex friend was like this. If we were out, he'd always be texting or calling his girlfriend. He used to whinge at me if I took my time to reply to a text. I do apologise for not being glued to my phone. Not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anyone else have this problem in their relationships where people are more interested in playing with their phone than having a conversation?

    I start 2 new modules at university next term which I'm worried about - I didn't make any friends last term despite my attempts. When waiting outside rooms for class, literally everyone was on their phone. I tried talking to people but it was clear they wanted to be left alone.

    Even my girlfriend is often more attentive to her phone than me. We live together so I get that it can be kind of intense. However, when we go out for food she'll tinker on her phone until the food arrives, ignoring me, and will eat with 1 hand with her phone in the other.

    I don't understand how to make friends when everyone is so engrossed with their phone. I feel really hurt by my girlfriend's behaviour too.
    You must live in some weird place where everyone's on their phone much more often. Most people I know have smartphones which they seldom have in the room with them, such they they miss calls, don't respond to messages, and very seldom make contact in the first place. Which leads me to think that either you live in a different place, culturally, to anywhere I've ever been or known about, or else your perception of other people is skewed by your own self-superior attutide toward people who use technology.

    You say you tried to make friends at uni, and waited outside rooms for people? Man, that's not what you do. People aren't there to be met at the door by some guy with a kicked-dog attitude about society, wanting to be friends.

    And as far as your girlfriend goes - she's your girlfriend, and since smartphones have been a thing now for well over a decade, I'm going to assume she's had one for at least as long as you've been together/known each other. If that's the case, you have absolutely no right to comment, as you could have exercised your freedom to not bother with her in the first place. If it's not the case, she probably turned to her phone because you're obviously a self-superior snob who gets off on forcing your attention on people.

    So basically, grow up and sort your life out.
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    (Original post by Tootles)
    Most people I know have smartphones which they seldom have in the room with them, such they they miss calls, don't respond to messages, and very seldom make contact in the first place.
    I'd take the hint if I were you mate.
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    The irony is that smartphones often make people more antisocial.
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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    I'd take the hint if I were you mate.
    Ohh funny.

    Most of these people have this obscure, rare thing called a life, consisting of jobs, partners, and children, which often precludes them being able or inclined to
    pick up messages from anyone, often inclusing each other.
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    Treat her like a phone and get a new one.
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    At first I thought you must be too cool for a smartphone but after reading the post your concerns sound entirely reasonable.
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    I completely agree... some people have the go-to reflex of whipping out their smartphone whenever they aren't mid-sentence.

    There's nothing worse than looking at a group of people (3+) and they are all on their phones.

    If I know I'm not gonna need it, I leave my phone at home, or just leave it on silent in my pocket.
 
 
 
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