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    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by l'etranger)
    You should do what makes you happy, you owe him nothing and it's up to him to sort his life out, make friends. You're not his mother and even if you were I'm sure he's old enough to wipe his own ass.
    (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
    You seem to just be making excuses. How are you going to feel when your "friend" starts sleeping with other girls, and tells you about it despite your feelings. He's not your responsibility.
    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    He's not your friend; he's keeping you around in the hopes that one day you'll see with him/be his friends-with-benefits. Friends don't keep you on the back-burner like this.

    Save yourself the confusion and heartache by ditching him. Short term pain for long term happiness, I'd say. No point keeping this sort of rubbish in your life when you can better invest your time in yourself and meeting more and better quality people, or even a potential partner.
    Thanks guys. Eventhough it hurts, I'll let him know when he messages me today that I'd rather keep a distance from him.
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    (Original post by l'etranger)
    He was honest with her so he is the bad guy? Give me a ****ing break :laugh: The worst thing is telling a girl you care about her just to get her into bed before ditching her.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was thinking that as well. I mean I find it a harsh way to think that just because he wants something else he's a complete douche. I respect him for telling me. Do you think I should still avoid being friends with him? If I'm his only friend...
    I'll be honest you told this guy you had feelings and he was honest he said he is not ready for a relationship at the minute but dosen't mind a casual relationship with you. Atleast he was honest i don't think he is a bad guy cause he said no to being with you.
    You should not have told him your feelings now its made things awkward between you as you aren't happy with his response. I don't think he views you as a tramp like someone posted by suggesting you should sleeping together.
    If you can't be his friend then gradually distance yourself from him and meet other people.
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    (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
    I understand that. But he also can't expect her to stick around just to be his friend after he's shot her down. She's not going to be able to move on, he must know that
    That's if he does expect her to stick around though. From what I can see he's done nothing wrong; he hasn't deceived her nor purposefully hurt her feelings, he's probably unaware of her feelings. She needs to communicate what she wants to him, and then they can take it from there; he can choose to have a relationship with her, or break it off completely.

    To be fair, OP told him she's not just looking for sex, and he asked her what she is looking for. OP hasn't told us what she told him, she just said 'what does it matter', so we don't know what kind of miscommunication is going on here.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by chikane)
    I'll be honest you told this guy you had feelings and he was honest he said he is not ready for a relationship at the minute but dosen't mind a casual relationship with you. Atleast he was honest i don't think he is a bad guy cause he said no to being with you.
    You should not have told him your feelings now its made things awkward between you as you aren't happy with his response. I don't think he views you as a tramp like someone posted by suggesting you should sleeping together.
    If you can't be his friend then gradually distance yourself from him and meet other people.
    Yeah I doubt that he views me as a tramp. He's never referred to me like that and he's always been respectful and honest with me. I know I've made a big mistake by just outright telling him my feelings. He said he can't stop thinking about what I told him now.
    (Original post by LauraMayden1)
    That's if he does expect her to stick around though. From what I can see he's done nothing wrong; he hasn't deceived her nor purposefully hurt her feelings, he's probably unaware of her feelings. She needs to communicate what she wants to him, and then they can take it from there; he can choose to have a relationship with her, or break it off completely.

    To be fair, OP told him she's not just looking for sex, and he asked her what she is looking for. OP hasn't told us what she told him, she just said 'what does it matter', so we don't know what kind of miscommunication is going on here.
    I haven't told him what I want. I told him I don't just want sex and he's been asking what it is that I want. I just told him it doesn't matter anyway, but he told me that it does? I just don't see the point in saying more about it to him if he only wants sex anyway. It's useless at the end of the day I can't change his mind, so why carry on talking about what I want with him. I don't know maybe he's asking because he wants to try and do what I want, as long as it's not forcing him into a relationship or something. But I'm hardly thinking of a relationship myself. All I know is that I liked him and wanted something with him that isn't just sex. But I just feel dumb now, because I told him I don't want to talk about it anymore, so he said he'll try not to bring it up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I doubt that he views me as a tramp. He's never referred to me like that and he's always been respectful and honest with me. I know I've made a big mistake by just outright telling him my feelings. He said he can't stop thinking about what I told him now.

    I haven't told him what I want. I told him I don't just want sex and he's been asking what it is that I want. I just told him it doesn't matter anyway, but he told me that it does? I just don't see the point in saying more about it to him if he only wants sex anyway. It's useless at the end of the day I can't change his mind, so why carry on talking about what I want with him. I don't know maybe he's asking because he wants to try and do what I want, as long as it's not forcing him into a relationship or something. But I'm hardly thinking of a relationship myself. All I know is that I liked him and wanted something with him that isn't just sex. But I just feel dumb now, because I told him I don't want to talk about it anymore, so he said he'll try not to bring it up.
    Well if he asked, then just tell him, especially if he said it does matter. Maybe he'll change his mind. Maybe he's already changed his mind, but feels awkward because he already turned you down. If you tell him how you feel, then like I said, you'll either have a relationship, or nothing at all; I wouldn't recommend remaining friends with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I doubt that he views me as a tramp. He's never referred to me like that and he's always been respectful and honest with me. I know I've made a big mistake by just outright telling him my feelings. He said he can't stop thinking about what I told him now.

    I haven't told him what I want. I told him I don't just want sex and he's been asking what it is that I want. I just told him it doesn't matter anyway, but he told me that it does? I just don't see the point in saying more about it to him if he only wants sex anyway. It's useless at the end of the day I can't change his mind, so why carry on talking about what I want with him. I don't know maybe he's asking because he wants to try and do what I want, as long as it's not forcing him into a relationship or something. But I'm hardly thinking of a relationship myself. All I know is that I liked him and wanted something with him that isn't just sex. But I just feel dumb now, because I told him I don't want to talk about it anymore, so he said he'll try not to bring it up.
    Well you can't blame him he thought his friend just saw him as a friend nothing more.
    I think you need to talk to him and be honest or else this friendship you have will not survive. You can have feelings for someone but not feel like having a relationship.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by LauraMayden1)
    Well if he asked, then just tell him, especially if he said it does matter. Maybe he'll change his mind. Maybe he's already changed his mind, but feels awkward because he already turned you down. If you tell him how you feel, then like I said, you'll either have a relationship, or nothing at all; I wouldn't recommend remaining friends with him.
    I will try and talk to him I think I've done the most daunting bit anyway which was telling him that I like him.
    (Original post by chikane)
    Well you can't blame him he thought his friend just saw him as a friend nothing more.
    I think you need to talk to him and be honest or else this friendship you have will not survive. You can have feelings for someone but not feel like having a relationship.
    I will talk to him. I feel like I'm going to have to since I put the thought in his head now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will try and talk to him I think I've done the most daunting bit anyway which was telling him that I like him.


    I will talk to him. I feel like I'm going to have to since I put the thought in his head now.
    Good luck
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    This is called having your cake and eating it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Move on as in stop my friendship with him?
    Yes. He's using you.

    You deserve better
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm crying for OP. What a selfish *******. OP you can do better!!!
    Crying for the OP...don't you think that's just a little bit of an overreaction lmao?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks guys. Eventhough it hurts, I'll let him know when he messages me today that I'd rather keep a distance from him.
    All the best.
 
 
 
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