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Muslim girls: Would you prefer your husband to come out? Watch

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    If she can't accept and marry you as you are then you shouldn't get married.
    Period.

    If you are knowingly hiding something major from your fiancée, be it that you are gay, a non-Muslim, from outer space, whatever, then you are not treating her with love and respect.
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    (Original post by WBZ144)
    I'm an ex-Muslim as well and I think that what you are doing is wrong.

    Tell her the truth. If she leaves you then find a girl who is more suited to you and who you can live an honest life with. Why is it that you want to marry her? Is it love, or do you have specific reasons for wanting to marry a religious Muslim girl such as familial approval? If the latter, I strongly suggest that you don't go ahead with this marriage.

    I'm surprised because I could only be with a Muslim guy if he was non-nonpracticing and very liberal, otherwise there would be too much conflict.
    But the thing is I've never been interested in any girl before her. And I want to marry her because I really like her qualities. She studies master's and is doing a male dominated degree with high prospects, she's extremely beautiful, she's modest. Everything about her really.

    And I can understand that and I do feel that our lifestyles might clash. For example with my drinking and going to nightclubs I am not sure if she wants a husband coming back drunk. I'm only 21 and I feel I still want to experience these things as well as get married this summer.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But the thing is I've never been interested in any girl before her. And I want to marry her because I really like her qualities. She studies master's and is doing a male dominated degree with high prospects, she's extremely beautiful, she's modest. Everything about her really.

    And I can understand that and I do feel that our lifestyles might clash. For example with my drinking and going to nightclubs I am not sure if she wants a husband coming back drunk. I'm only 21 and I feel I still want to experience these things as well as get married this summer.
    Are you sure you love her?
    Coz if you love someone you wouldn't lie to them or hurt them, esp in this kind of case which will break her heart after she finds out everything was based on a lie.
    You will be doing more damage than good to both of you.
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    Yeah well who doesn't want a beautiful, modest, accomplished woman?

    But tricking her into marriage won't actually get you what you want in The end. It will just cause suffering for both of you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But the thing is I've never been interested in any girl before her. And I want to marry her because I really like her qualities. She studies master's and is doing a male dominated degree with high prospects, she's extremely beautiful, she's modest. Everything about her really.

    And I can understand that and I do feel that our lifestyles might clash. For example with my drinking and going to nightclubs I am not sure if she wants a husband coming back drunk. I'm only 21 and I feel I still want to experience these things as well as get married this summer.
    She sounds great, but what you're doing is selfish, it's not true love. To lie to her just because you want to marry her whilst disregarding her feelings is a pretty horrible thing to do.

    Also, if you don't mind me asking, what degree is she doing?
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    Go ahead and try to de-convert her over time using suggestion. About time people woke up and rejected their backwards religions
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    (Original post by Al-farhan)
    Are you sure you love her?
    Coz if you love someone you wouldn't lie to them or hurt them, esp in this kind of case which will break her heart after she finds out everything was based on a lie.
    You will be doing more damage than good to both of you.
    Bro, I'm pretty sure this guy is a troll. He says things which only a troll would.

    https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho...3#post69394318
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    Relationships based on a foundation of lies and deceit never last.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Bro, I'm pretty sure this guy is a troll. He says things which only a troll would.

    https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho...3#post69394318
    Yea, I had a feeling it could be a troll!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's what I'm worried about. I fought through so much to be with her. And my dream came true that I am engaged to her. One BIG barrier I had to fight was the ethnicity difference. I am a Gujarati Indian and she is an North African Arab. I left Islam around a year ago and haven't mentioned anything. I am unsure if she will still marry me if I came out so I just feel its safer not to. I kind of can't imagine not being with her now.
    It's pathetically deceitful. I can't imagine it being anything other than a dysfunctional relationship with such different worldviews.

    If you're an atheist, own it. Otherwise, enjoy living your life as a lie.

    I pitty the poor girl.
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    If you don't tell her, it'll cause a hell of a lot more unhappiness further down the line.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Bro, I'm pretty sure this guy is a troll. He says things which only a troll would.

    https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho...3#post69394318
    Pretty sure most posts here are trolls.
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    Lol if I was the girl and you told me years later best believe my ass would be in jail for murder
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    hi , i am a practicing Muslim myself , i honestly believe you should tell her asap , please do not marry her then tell her because thats only going to make her hate you honestly because as you described her it sounds as if she loves the way of life she has chosen to live which is islam , and by marrying her then telling her clearly sounds like you dont respect that sorry but if you really do care for her tell her now , you do not want to build a life on a lie because that would truly cause her to resent you but if you tell her before hand (now) only the best would happen . i really care for this because i understand the value she has for her religion and if i was her and i was told when your planning to tell her i seriously wouldn't want to be near you no offence .In Islam we believe that we are all bothers and sisters, and that we should love for others what we love for our selves so please i urge you to tell her now plus this is as well as in humanity the right thing to do morally is to tell her , i saw this by accident and im glad i did because there are people out there that would tell you to carry on with your plan but trust me that would not be the best thing to do for you both . Sorry for the long reply but please tell her now , she would notice as soon as you marrying her especially as you said she was practicing and believe me in her eyes you will look so much bigger metaphorically speaking if you tell her now , she would respect you for that and yes as muslim women should only marry muslim men , that shouldn't put you off telling her because she clearly loves her religion and telling her after marriage will cause her so much pain if you delay it. please tell her now .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was shocked at the responses from the other thread. I'm an ex-Muslim guy going to marry a Muslim girl in the summer. She doesn't know yet and I don't plan to tell her until years after the marriage. It's just that she is very religious and all, she always prays five times a day, fasts, wears hijab and abaya.

    Would you prefer your husband to come out after marriage or before?
    Is it an arranged marriage?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's what I'm worried about. I fought through so much to be with her. And my dream came true that I am engaged to her. One BIG barrier I had to fight was the ethnicity difference. I am a Gujarati Indian and she is an North African Arab. I left Islam around a year ago and haven't mentioned anything. I am unsure if she will still marry me if I came out so I just feel its safer not to. I kind of can't imagine not being with her now.
    If you care about her you will tell her and let her make the decision. How will you feel if she ends up trapped in an unhappy marriage because her beliefs don't allow her to get a divorce or she'll struggle to remarry - all because you lied to her. She will hate and resent you for it.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Is it an arranged marriage?
    No it's not actually. We actually met during my undergraduate when I was volunteering with her.

    If it were arranged, I doubt we would be allowed different ethnicity marriage. Most arranged marriages have parents involve which filter things like ethnicity, height, which degree studied, salary etc. That's why I didn't want to go down that route.
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    (Original post by Jack22031994)
    It's a tough situation but if it was the other way around, what would you want her to do?
    Well I'd never leave her for anything like that. I mean her religion doesn't define her individuality. She's modest, intelligent, beautiful etc. I'm sure she will have these characteristics despite which religion she follows.
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    Obviously tell her the most important information about your life after you get married to her. I mean, who wouldn't want to be lied and betrayed to? I'm sure she'll appreciate your gesture.
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    (Original post by LauraMayden1)
    She sounds great, but what you're doing is selfish, it's not true love. To lie to her just because you want to marry her whilst disregarding her feelings is a pretty horrible thing to do.

    Also, if you don't mind me asking, what degree is she doing?
    It's not selfish, and if you're not an ex-Muslim you won't understand how difficult it is for us guys. And I can't tell you what she's studying as people I know might see this as there are very few Muslim girls studying this degree. Most of them I know tend to study medicine, dentistry, pharmacy or optometry.
 
 
 
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