cant stop getting bullied Watch

kickboxer 98
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#1
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for the last year and two months people have been teasing me and spreading rumours and asking me to be sexual with them etc, and in the last month it had stopped until i found out that a girl i am friends with is spreading rumours which arent even true about me and the boy i fancy, and now people think im a liar and he wont talk to me because he thinks i started the rumours

how do i stop this from happening over and over again? do i not trust anyone or do i just not talk to anyone?

im so sick of feeling depressed and upset by the situation :/
ive been crying myself to sleep and been made to feel like a mug for so long
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laelnay
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Hey. First of all I want you to understand that the situation that you are in is not your fault. People, especially school aged teenagers can be vicious and nasty and school is like survival of the fittest, people don't think twice about using others as ladder rungs up the social pyramid.

I was bullied in a similar way to you through years 7, 8 and 9. As terrible as it is, the only way it got any better was when I cut certain people out of my life entirely (in your case, this would be the girl that started these rumours and any of your other friends who support her or tell you "It's just a joke, get over it."). Once I did this, I settled into a new friendship group with the rest of the "outcasts" in my year group (At lunch we sat with the unpopular people from every year group in the school. It was like our own little subculture!)

I got incredibly good at ignoring the taunts and little comments people would make in class to me. I deactivated my social media accounts and blocked people's numbers so that they couldn't access me outside of school. I also joined a scout group, which proved to me that I wasn't the issue. The kids at scouts were all happy to be my friends (10 years later and we all still talk!!) so the issue clearly didn't lie with me.

Once they see that they aren't getting a response or a rise out of you, I'm sure they will stop.

Do you have a learning mentor at school? It may be worth approaching them as they can help you with coping strategies etc and also advocate to you to teachers and heads of year, making it easier to get things sorted through those channels too.
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kickboxer 98
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(Original post by laelnay)
Hey. First of all I want you to understand that the situation that you are in is not your fault. People, especially school aged teenagers can be vicious and nasty and school is like survival of the fittest, people don't think twice about using others as ladder rungs up the social pyramid.

I was bullied in a similar way to you through years 7, 8 and 9. As terrible as it is, the only way it got any better was when I cut certain people out of my life entirely (in your case, this would be the girl that started these rumours and any of your other friends who support her or tell you "It's just a joke, get over it.". Once I did this, I settled into a new friendship group with the rest of the "outcasts" in my year group (At lunch we sat with the unpopular people from every year group in the school. It was like our own little subculture!)

I got incredibly good at ignoring the taunts and little comments people would make in class to me. I deactivated my social media accounts and blocked people's numbers so that they couldn't access me outside of school. I also joined a scout group, which proved to me that I wasn't the issue. The kids at scouts were all happy to be my friends (10 years later and we all still talk!!) so the issue clearly didn't lie with me.

Once they see that they aren't getting a response or a rise out of you, I'm sure they will stop.

Do you have a learning mentor at school? It may be worth approaching them as they can help you with coping strategies etc and also advocate to you to teachers and heads of year, making it easier to get things sorted through those channels too.
honest ive tried making friends and talking to the outcasts but no one likes me, they talk to me out of school but dont want to be seen with me in school.

kickboxing is the only thing getting me through- i cant talk to school i used to have councilling but she thought i didnt need it anymore
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Carthaginian
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then fight em'
only way to prove you're alpha
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l'etranger
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Threaten to report them to the police.
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kickboxer 98
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(Original post by Carthaginian)
then fight em'
only way to prove you're alpha
got into a fight with two of the boys at separate times got excluded for both
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Hanvyj
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(Original post by laelnay)
Once they see that they aren't getting a response or a rise out of you, I'm sure they will stop.
Ha!

This was my tactic. "Ignore them" everyone said. Also, I'm not the kind of person who's good at confrontation/fights.

Never worked. It becomes a game of "How far can we take it?".

It's apparently very funny to keep pushing people who ignore you. Hilarious. When will they break?

That said, those who "broke" and ineffectually swung a fist or snapped never did any better - it was usually funny to watch the kid who couldn't fight snap. Only worked if you were good at fighting. Can't really win.
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Carthaginian
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Trust me, i'm a veteran when it comes to war and stuff, they call me Caesar in my school.
All you gotta do is get 2 tec-9s or mp5s or whatever, and shoot them up. It's simple.
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laelnay
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#9
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(Original post by kickboxer 98)
honest ive tried making friends and talking to the outcasts but no one likes me, they talk to me out of school but dont want to be seen with me in school.

kickboxing is the only thing getting me through- i cant talk to school i used to have councilling but she thought i didnt need it anymore
How about your parents? Are they any help? Do they know what is going on?

Another thing to look into is what's called a "managed move", where your school and another school agree for you to have a trial period there and see if you get on any better. That was going to be the next step for me, but learning to count to 10 and not give them a rise worked better than expected. It took a while but people did leave me alone.
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laelnay
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(Original post by Hanvyj)
Ha!

This was my tactic. "Ignore them" everyone said. Also, I'm not the kind of person who's good at confrontation/fights.

Never worked. It becomes a game of "How far can we take it?".

It's apparently very funny to keep pushing people who ignore you. Hilarious. When will they break?

That said, those who "broke" and ineffectually swung a fist or snapped never did any better - it was usually funny to watch the kid who couldn't fight snap. Only worked if you were good at fighting. Can't really win.
I can only speak from experience, but after 3 years of fighting back and being the one getting punished by the school for defending myself, ignoring them began to work for me.

It's not a quick fix and it took a while for people to get bored, but it made school a lot more tolerable. It also meant that when I did report physical or emotional abuse to the school, they couldn't then say "Well you did fight back."
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kickboxer 98)
for the last year and two months people have been teasing me and spreading rumours and asking me to be sexual with them etc, and in the last month it had stopped until i found out that a girl i am friends with is spreading rumours which arent even true about me and the boy i fancy, and now people think im a liar and he wont talk to me because he thinks i started the rumours

how do i stop this from happening over and over again? do i not trust anyone or do i just not talk to anyone?

im so sick of feeling depressed and upset by the situation :/
ive been crying myself to sleep and been made to feel like a mug for so long
Rumors may have some basis in this case as I can recall your private messages. Your threads back in the day also reflected that you were an "easy".

If you want a change of scenery consider revising your life goals. Substitute friends, fun and parties with new friends, productivity and continuous learning. Focusing on feel good hobbies like lasertag or soap football will give you a nice pool of feel good friends. **** the gym.
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kickboxer 98
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#12
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(Original post by laelnay)
How about your parents? Are they any help? Do they know what is going on?

Another thing to look into is what's called a "managed move", where your school and another school agree for you to have a trial period there and see if you get on any better. That was going to be the next step for me, but learning to count to 10 and not give them a rise worked better than expected. It took a while but people did leave me alone.
i cant talk to my parents theres alot going on at home

moving school would mean telling them

kickboxing is the only thing keeping me going
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vivian01
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(Original post by kickboxer 98)
for the last year and two months people have been teasing me and spreading rumours and asking me to be sexual with them etc, and in the last month it had stopped until i found out that a girl i am friends with is spreading rumours which arent even true about me and the boy i fancy, and now people think im a liar and he wont talk to me because he thinks i started the rumours

how do i stop this from happening over and over again? do i not trust anyone or do i just not talk to anyone?

im so sick of feeling depressed and upset by the situation :/
ive been crying myself to sleep and been made to feel like a mug for so long
How sad these bullies have nothing better to do. You are better than them and don't forget that.
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kickboxer 98
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(Original post by vivian01)
How sad these bullies have nothing better to do. You are better than them and don't forget that.
thx but honestly idek who i am anymore, ive pushed so many people away and ive changed- i miss who i used to be and idk how to go back
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vivian01
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(Original post by kickboxer 98)
thx but honestly idek who i am anymore, ive pushed so many people away and ive changed- i miss who i used to be and idk how to go back
You have to try your best. It's not easy but just believe in yourself, you can do this. Remember these bullies will continue to treat you like this if you let them understand your afraid of them. Your better than that,miss not easy but you have to try. Don't give them the satisfaction.
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shawn_o1
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#16
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You kickbox for a reason, just get into the combative stance you're familiar with when you feel you're being bullied. Give them the "don't mess with me" look. you'll be able to overpower them bullies And show them who's boss
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username2769500
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#17
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Are you sure it's not a wind Up? This could be funny really If you could see it like that. I think it's pretty funny If it is just meant to be a joke... Lol
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Abdukazam
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(Original post by Carthaginian)
Trust me, i'm a veteran when it comes to war and stuff, they call me Caesar in my school.
All you gotta do is get 2 tec-9s or mp5s or whatever, and shoot them up. It's simple.
Lmao
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Analyst89
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#19
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You're better than your bullies and it seems like they are interested in you and that they don't have a life literally if they do this to you.

As for the bullying, say something like "why are you so obsessed with me" "don't you have a life?" "it's that all you do, have an obsession over me?".

Cut these people out of your life.

You could also say if they call you names "why are you talking to yourself for"?

Best of luck
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heychi
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Cut them off, and anyone that isn't willing to hear you out.

As for the people that will only talk to you outside of school, screw them too.

These people aren't worth it
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