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Dating a 16 year old when your 21? Yay or nay? Watch

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    This is me, I went out with a 16 year old lad when I was 20, some people are mature at that age others not so much, he was the mature type. 16 is still very young though and generally people will look down on the age gap.
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    (Original post by JS995)
    Recently I was flicking through the black hole that is tinder. I matched with a very attrative girl with who I had the most 'common connections' with than any other match.

    I've began messaging and after the usual small talk and flirtatious banter she told me she was actually 16 and not 19 as her profile had said.

    I didn't said its a little weird but we continued talking, I had no intentions of taking things further. We were literally just talking. She shares almost every view I have on a political and philosophical level as well as a smiliar taste in music (mine is super obscure) as well as art and film.

    She added me on Facebook and from there we have been chatting a lot. We will talk on FaceTime or a phone call for 5 hours. Discussion different things from hobbys and interests to personnel aspirations.

    She's told me she likes me. And I like her back. It's just weird.

    Is it alright?

    That I can't decide. I know guys with the same 5 year gap and they had no worries doing it. I know people who were 25 and 16 and have been going strong for a few years now but it still feels weird and I can't decide what to do.

    I definitely want to keep her in my life even if just as a friend but I would prefer to be intimate.

    I know we aren't breaking any laws if we do decide to get together but the gap is literally keeping me awake at night. Any thoughts/opinions would be great.
    Yay, definitely. Stop being so self conscious. So many insecure people on this forum...
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    Completely fine imo. Some people will call you a nonce but people will **** on anything you do so who cares
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    naynaynaynay
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    (Original post by JS995)
    Recently I was flicking through the black hole that is tinder. I matched with a very attrative girl with who I had the most 'common connections' with than any other match.

    I've began messaging and after the usual small talk and flirtatious banter she told me she was actually 16 and not 19 as her profile had said.

    I didn't said its a little weird but we continued talking, I had no intentions of taking things further. We were literally just talking. She shares almost every view I have on a political and philosophical level as well as a smiliar taste in music (mine is super obscure) as well as art and film.

    She added me on Facebook and from there we have been chatting a lot. We will talk on FaceTime or a phone call for 5 hours. Discussion different things from hobbys and interests to personnel aspirations.

    She's told me she likes me. And I like her back. It's just weird.

    Is it alright?

    That I can't decide. I know guys with the same 5 year gap and they had no worries doing it. I know people who were 25 and 16 and have been going strong for a few years now but it still feels weird and I can't decide what to do.

    I definitely want to keep her in my life even if just as a friend but I would prefer to be intimate.

    I know we aren't breaking any laws if we do decide to get together but the gap is literally keeping me awake at night. Any thoughts/opinions would be great.
    I would say if she's a mature 16 year old than it's fine. A lot of people our age prefer older people, so I say go for it !
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    You a paedo lad?
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    I'd pretty much always say it's weird however I can see your perspective here that actually meeting someone who shares a lot of political/social/etc interests with you feels good. You should bear in mind that at 16 she's very likely to change political beliefs etc as she really doesn't know a lot about the world yet. The fact she's got strong political beliefs and so on at 16 says to me she's either very mature OR she's not being straight with you (and just agreeing with everything you say). I don't know which.

    To me the important thing isn't age but where you are in life. I just find it strange that a 16 year old in school would similar short term aims and ambitions to a 21 year old who has finished uni and is working a graduate job for example.If you're in 6th form and uni then it's less of a difference but in my opinion still too much. On the other hand if it was a 17 y/o and 21 y/o who were both working in retail full time together I'd find it less weird.
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    Nay
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    No WAY!!!! Not acceptable in any way!!! She isn't even an adult yet!


    Highly inappropriate.

    Also she is 16 there is literally no future in it for you. You will not be her last boyfriend if you go through with this.

    A 5 year age gap is nothing if involves ADULTS who have reached maturity... even if you think she seems "mature for her age" (a classic line from creeps who think making a move on young teens is acceptable)... her age is still 16! Saying she's mature for a 16 year old doesn't make her an adult! She is still of school age and you're old enough to be a graduate with a full time job... that's worlds apart.

    If you go through with it you will get a lot of adversity from people thinking you're a creep and tbh I wouldn't blame them. I wonder what her parents would think.
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    what does a horse say?
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    Big nay to me... my sister is 16 and so is her boyfriend, and the hypothetical thought of dating him or any of his friends at the age of 22 is just wrong to me. Sorry.
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    Nay, it's a bit weird.
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    I was with a 16 year old at 21 and while i would probably not repeat the experience i can say that social norms had nothing to do with it (she was batcrap crazy).

    OP, if you desire the girl then claim your prize.
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    (Original post by JS995)
    I've began messaging and after the usual small talk and flirtatious banter she told me she was actually 16 and not 19 as her profile had said.

    I didn't said its a little weird but we continued talking, I had no intentions of taking things further. We were literally just talking. She shares almost every view I have on a political and philosophical level as well as a smiliar taste in music (mine is super obscure) as well as art and film.

    Is it alright?

    I definitely want to keep her in my life even if just as a friend but I would prefer to be intimate.

    I know we aren't breaking any laws if we do decide to get together but the gap is literally keeping me awake at night. Any thoughts/opinions would be great.
    This is a complicated case, so asking it on TSR isn't the best idea, since you can lead yourself into trouble.

    Firstly, to address the age gap: you are 21, and she is 16. More specifically, she is underage to consent. You have to be 18 before you are able to legally consent to anything (that is why you cannot sign contracts until then, etc).

    Casual conversations, meet-ups (that is, meeting at a Coffee shop, or restaurant in a public place), and discussions is fine - provided they aren't overly sexual, and, you keep your distance (e.g., going to each other's house is inappropriate).

    My advice to you is this: if you want this relationship to work, you have to wait until she is 18. At this time, you can do whatever you want, but while she is 16, you have to be particularly careful about what you say, and do, with this person.

    Just because other people are doing it, does not mean you should too. They could be breaking the law.

    In summary, you can continue speaking to her - which is fine. However, sending any explicit images, or messages, may not be 'lawful', since she is under age. I would recommend for you to wait until she is 18, before progressing with this relationship.

    Lastly, here's some advice for you take: if you are unsure what you are doing is lawful, speak to a legal consultant. People on TSR (including myself) can only 'guide' you, but we do not know exactly what is best in these situations.

    Hope this helps.
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    tbh even if she says she is 16 she could be younger....
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    (Original post by Baleroc)
    This is a complicated case, so asking it on TSR isn't the best idea, since you can lead yourself into trouble.

    Firstly, to address the age gap: you are 21, and she is 16. More specifically, she is underage to consent. You have to be 18 before you are able to legally consent to anything (that is why you cannot sign contracts until then, etc).

    Casual conversations, meet-ups (that is, meeting at a Coffee shop, or restaurant in a public place), and discussions is fine - provided they aren't overly sexual, and, you keep your distance (e.g., going to each other's house is inappropriate).

    My advice to you is this: if you want this relationship to work, you have to wait until she is 18. At this time, you can do whatever you want, but while she is 16, you have to be particularly careful about what you say, and do, with this person.

    Just because other people are doing it, does not mean you should too. They could be breaking the law.

    In summary, you can continue speaking to her - which is fine. However, sending any explicit images, or messages, may not be 'lawful', since she is under age. I would recommend for you to wait until she is 18, before progressing with this relationship.

    Lastly, here's some advice for you take: if you are unsure what you are doing is lawful, speak to a legal consultant. People on TSR (including myself) can only 'guide' you, but we do not know exactly what is best in these situations.

    Hope this helps.
    16 is literally the age of consent for sexual activity
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    I'm 21, and I would never date a 16year old. But then again, I'm a girl though so it might be different
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    (Original post by the bear)
    tbh even if she says she is 16 she could be younger....
    OP should definitely ask for proof of age. I suggest handing her the pamphlet of official documents.

    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    I'm 21, and I would never date a 16year old. But then again, I'm a girl though so it might be different
    When you were 16, how old was your oldest boyfriend or sexual partner?

    Although i never went there myself i knew of 14 year old girls who having sex with men in their twenties (the most extreme was probably a girl who screwed her sisters 27 year old boyfriend when she was 15).
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    When you were 16, how old was your oldest boyfriend or sexual partner?
    17

    Although i never went there myself i knew of 14 year old girls who having sex with men in their twenties (the most extreme was probably a girl who screwed her sisters 27 year old boyfriend when she was 15).
    Yeah when we were 15, my friend was having sex with a 23 year old. illegal much?

    It's much more normal for a guy to date younger than his age, but as a 21yr old, 16 just sounds very young to me, I wouldn't entertain it. I'd even be sceptical about dating an 18year old
 
 
 
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