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Last chance date with my best friend - pressure!!! Watch

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    -madly in love with best friend of three years
    -dated briefly when we first met but he decided he didn't like me
    -we meet up every 6 months or so and always end up sleeping together
    -he has told me many times that he has no feelings for me at all beyond friendship and to move on as he will never, ever love me
    -I don't doubt that, because even though our friendship has always had flirty and sexual undertones, he's always been clear that he has no feelings for me.
    -despite this, i'm always sentimental and mushy and tell him how I feel all the time
    -on new year's eve, he'd had a bit too much to drink and basically got a bit jealous over something and said he rather missed me and wanted to go on a date
    -I've questioned him since, he says he just wants to check whether he was wrong about his lack-of feelings, but doesn't want me to get my hopes up because it probably won't change anything.

    SO. At the end of January, I've got this date coming up and I feel under so much pressure - to look my best, to act my best, and just basically maximise my chances that he may discover some random feelings for me.

    It's basically my last chance.

    This thread's a bit pointless, I just feel like announcing my panic:cry:
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    You sound a bit clingy so I'd be careful about that. Don't overthink it and just be normal!

    Good luck, tell us how it goes.
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    It sounds like he's made himself clear. You've got to ask yourself, even if you do get into a relationship, will he ever be truly committed? You can't force someone to love you back I'm afraid
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    Good luck, but it all sounds a bit pressurised, so be realistic or you will try too hard and that will work against you. Personally I dont think you should have kept sleeping with him, but there was a story on here about someone turning a FB into a real relationship. To stand any chance then it has to be more or less equals. He has to see as many positives in you, as your infatuation with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    -madly in love with best friend of three years
    -dated briefly when we first met but he decided he didn't like me
    -we meet up every 6 months or so and always end up sleeping together
    -he has told me many times that he has no feelings for me at all beyond friendship and to move on as he will never, ever love me
    -I don't doubt that, because even though our friendship has always had flirty and sexual undertones, he's always been clear that he has no feelings for me.
    -despite this, i'm always sentimental and mushy and tell him how I feel all the time
    -on new year's eve, he'd had a bit too much to drink and basically got a bit jealous over something and said he rather missed me and wanted to go on a date
    -I've questioned him since, he says he just wants to check whether he was wrong about his lack-of feelings, but doesn't want me to get my hopes up because it probably won't change anything.

    SO. At the end of January, I've got this date coming up and I feel under so much pressure - to look my best, to act my best, and just basically maximise my chances that he may discover some random feelings for me.

    It's basically my last chance.

    This thread's a bit pointless, I just feel like announcing my panic:cry:
    I'm gonna try and be real here...

    You have been best friends for 3 years, there's nothing you can do in the space of 1 night to make him like you or not like you. He either does or doesn't and your behaviour or the way you look on one night really isn't going to change that. He's known you for 3 years. So try to feel less intense because the way you're building it up in your head is only going to lead to putting to much pressure on yourself and maybe even making the whole situation weird or desperate seeming.

    Something you might want to consider - are you actually in love with him? Or the idea of being in love with him? Have you conditioned yourself so much into thinking you love him because you think that's just how you feel? I'm not saying this is the case I'm just saying think about it, because it might take some of that pressure off. If you are in love with him then you need to calm yourself down a bit because you'll both be going into this date on totally different levels. You in love, him in friendship. Try not to be too full on.

    If this date doesn't go the way you're hoping by the way I think you need to cut him out of your life until you are over him. This really isn't a healthy way to live and it might be stopping you from meeting who you will actually truly love and they love you back.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    I'm gonna try and be real here...

    You have been best friends for 3 years, there's nothing you can do in the space of 1 night to make him like you or not like you. He either does or doesn't and your behaviour or the way you look on one night really isn't going to change that. He's known you for 3 years. So try to feel less intense because the way you're building it up in your head is only going to lead to putting to much pressure on yourself and maybe even making the whole situation weird or desperate seeming.

    Something you might want to consider - are you actually in love with him? Or the idea of being in love with him? Have you conditioned yourself so much into thinking you love him because you think that's just how you feel? I'm not saying this is the case I'm just saying think about it, because it might take some of that pressure off. If you are in love with him then you need to calm yourself down a bit because you'll both be going into this date on totally different levels. You in love, him in friendship. Try not to be too full on.

    If this date doesn't go the way you're hoping by the way I think you need to cut him out of your life until you are over him. This really isn't a healthy way to live and it might be stopping you from meeting who you will actually truly love and they love you back.
    This is EXACTLY what I would have said if you wouldn't have beat me to it! +1
 
 
 
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