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I cheated on my girlfriend last year, I feel so bad!!. Should I tell her Watch

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    #1

    two years now. i gave her a promise ring, and i gave her my word to one day marry her. i have every intention of fulfilling my word and i love her very much
    However, i made a huge mistake about a year ago of cheating on her with two different people while i was away at uni.
    It was one time with each girl
    It has torn me apart ever since ive done it. I wasnt thinking at all and was just being stupid. Letting my hormones get the best of me. It meant nothing to me and i would never do it again.
    Part of me tells me that i shouldnt tell her because ive learned from my mistakes and that ive already all but killed myself over it. I wouldnt want anything to happen to us, especially over such a dumb mistake.
    The other part of me wants to tell her just because i feel like it is her right to know. So should i tell her, or should i just do my best to ignore it? I feel so terrible having done it.
    • #2
    #2

    Don't feel bad man, you went out your way to hide the fact that you cheated on her, that means you truly love her and care about her emotions.
    I was feeling the same way until my friend gave me this advice, I have been guilt free ever since
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    The foundations of a relationship are build upon trust and if this is as serious as you say it is with having intentions of marrying her, don't you think she has the right to know everything in regards to your relationship before any further commitment is made? You've realised your mistakes and admitting it to her would be better than her somehow finding out from someone else. Also, the longer it is hidden from her the bigger the hole will get that you're digging for yourself. I would appreciate someone's honesty in them confronting me in a situation like this, if the shoe was on the other foot wouldn't you want to know if she had cheated? If you both love each other and it's meant to be then things will work itself out.

    Good luck!
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    You could have passed on an sti to your gf. She should be informed
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    Doesn't count if you did it last year
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    Everyone makes mistakes. This mistake was a long time ago. I wouldn't tell her. Do it again then yes I would say you have a moral duty to leave her and explain why you are.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    two years now. i gave her a promise ring, and i gave her my word to one day marry her. i have every intention of fulfilling my word and i love her very much
    However, i made a huge mistake about a year ago of cheating on her with two different people while i was away at uni.
    It was one time with each girl
    It has torn me apart ever since ive done it. I wasnt thinking at all and was just being stupid. Letting my hormones get the best of me. It meant nothing to me and i would never do it again.
    Part of me tells me that i shouldnt tell her because ive learned from my mistakes and that ive already all but killed myself over it. I wouldnt want anything to happen to us, especially over such a dumb mistake.
    The other part of me wants to tell her just because i feel like it is her right to know. So should i tell her, or should i just do my best to ignore it? I feel so terrible having done it.
    Tell her, she doesn't deserve you at all.
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    Up to you. She might have cheated a lot without informing you.
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    honestly is the main things relationships are built on- you'll keep on feeling guilty untill you tell her :yep:
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    If you an strong moral compass you William tell her imo
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    (Original post by calm down)
    If you an strong moral compass you William tell her imo
    People with strong moral compasses don't cheat to begin with.
    • TSR Support Team
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    If she finds out she may dump you as others said a relationship is built on trust, I mean if she did that to you then you wouldn't like it I imagine
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    Well, what the hell do you bloody think?
    She doesn't deserve you. You cheated on her with not 1 but TWO girls. If you really truly love her then you need to let her go. She needs to find someone who appreciates her.
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    I can't believe the facile judgments being thrown around here. You made a mistake when you were young, feel very bad about it, yet are committed to marry her. I would say, so long as you intend to be faithful in the future and a good husband, you should not tell her. Put it behind you and do your own penance, perhaps by treating her right during your marriage.

    The reason I advise against telling her is that if you do, those moments of infidelity will probably become an issue between you for the rest of your lives together, a painful reference point that could be destructive. Complete honesty and transparency in relationships do not always help, believe me: I've been married for 25 years and you go through an awful lot together. Sometimes it is better to let things pass unsaid because eventually they are forgotten or unimportant in light of other events.
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    Yes. This is not about you or your feelings at this point, but about your relationship and her knowing about it. Relationships are nothing without trust and honesty. If you cannot be honest about such a big thing, the promise ring means nothing. It doesn't matter if you "learned your lesson" or not - you cheated, and that is something imperative to know in a relationship. You do not want to carry this with you forever, and she deserves to know.

    Whatever she feels after you telling her is what is going to happen. Do not not tell her because you're worried she'll leave you or get upset, because after being cheated on, it is that person's prerogative. I'm sure most people would be very torn after finding out something like that. I think if you truly care about her, you should tell her as soon as possible. Take the initiative and don't be selfish about this.
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    (Original post by tapir)
    People with strong moral compasses don't cheat to begin with.
    Agreed
 
 
 
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