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feels like my life is going nowhere fast... Watch

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    I am a 'bitter, unhappy, full of anger and ill with stress/depression- graduate'.

    I have always been a highly ambitious individual, coming from a pretty poor family, and having been born with a disability, tormented by bullies most of my infant life, told I wouldn't walk again or be intellectually capable of achieving.

    Needless to say, I overcame all of this. I managed to escape the wheelchair, to curb the bullies (only to be bullied later on in my working life), to attend mainstream state school (although it was a poorly performing school).

    I left school with below average GCSEs after having become involved with a bad group of people , I was misled, I struggled having had learning difficulties also.

    Despite this, I got my act together, I knuckled down in college, got the required grades together to go to University.

    I went off to university, dropped out after experiencing significant psychological and social problems fitting it- depression and social anxiety. I isolated myself.

    I later re-enrolled, went to a different uni, passed with a 2.1 (with mitigation in areas- due to mental health).

    Fast forward to now, after having moved away from the family home, with my partner. I work in a horrible toxic environment in the food industry. Its full of bullies that didn't achieve anything in life, so they have to bully you.

    I'm ill with work-related stress, I drink all the time, I'm at my wits end.

    I've been applying for graduate jobs for months and months and nothing is working. Im getting further along the application process but I dunno how much more resilience I have in me in all honesty.

    all my life I've fought and I just feel a bit of a failure. I guess I wanted to be the one in my family to prove a point to do well, to be successful in a decent job, to be married and on my way to own a nice house.

    I guess I am a bit entitled, due to the praise I got as a child, particularly when I turned things around. Nobody expected me to achieve a lot and I have and I guess the praise is internalised to an extent.

    I'm not your average joe, ive been through more than many on TSR, yet I feel like a massive failure. Sat at home on my days off bored ,with not knowing anyone in my area, no direction, searching for a grad job in my industry.

    Every day I apply for work. Every single day. And every single day I check my emails, and nothing. Yes i might get an email to say I'm to the next stage, but thats outweighed by the rejection that usually follows....

    I am ill with depression and work-related stress-- what gives?

    Sure I go to my GP, sure I have counselling but I gave up hope a long time ago...
    • TSR Support Team
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    I am a 'bitter, unhappy, full of anger and ill with stress/depression- graduate'.

    I have always been a highly ambitious individual, coming from a pretty poor family, and having been born with a disability, tormented by bullies most of my infant life, told I wouldn't walk again or be intellectually capable of achieving.

    Needless to say, I overcame all of this. I managed to escape the wheelchair, to curb the bullies (only to be bullied later on in my working life), to attend mainstream state school (although it was a poorly performing school).

    I left school with below average GCSEs after having become involved with a bad group of people , I was misled, I struggled having had learning difficulties also.

    Despite this, I got my act together, I knuckled down in college, got the required grades together to go to University.

    I went off to university, dropped out after experiencing significant psychological and social problems fitting it- depression and social anxiety. I isolated myself.

    I later re-enrolled, went to a different uni, passed with a 2.1 (with mitigation in areas- due to mental health).

    Fast forward to now, after having moved away from the family home, with my partner. I work in a horrible toxic environment in the food industry. Its full of bullies that didn't achieve anything in life, so they have to bully you.

    I'm ill with work-related stress, I drink all the time, I'm at my wits end.

    I've been applying for graduate jobs for months and months and nothing is working. Im getting further along the application process but I dunno how much more resilience I have in me in all honesty.

    all my life I've fought and I just feel a bit of a failure. I guess I wanted to be the one in my family to prove a point to do well, to be successful in a decent job, to be married and on my way to own a nice house.

    I guess I am a bit entitled, due to the praise I got as a child, particularly when I turned things around. Nobody expected me to achieve a lot and I have and I guess the praise is internalised to an extent.

    I'm not your average joe, ive been through more than many on TSR, yet I feel like a massive failure. Sat at home on my days off bored ,with not knowing anyone in my area, no direction, searching for a grad job in my industry.

    Every day I apply for work. Every single day. And every single day I check my emails, and nothing. Yes i might get an email to say I'm to the next stage, but thats outweighed by the rejection that usually follows....

    I am ill with depression and work-related stress-- what gives?

    Sure I go to my GP, sure I have counselling but I gave up hope a long time ago...
    Moved to mental health.
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    Keep going man. Don't stop until you get there. Make sure you take some time for yourself, you can't be constantly going. Mentally I mean.

    Try to find something you enjoy doing that creates something. If its not internal like philosophy or fitness, it could be external like creating a sculpture or painting, something functional or just walking in the country.
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    I am a 'bitter, unhappy, full of anger and ill with stress/depression- graduate'.

    I have always been a highly ambitious individual, coming from a pretty poor family, and having been born with a disability, tormented by bullies most of my infant life, told I wouldn't walk again or be intellectually capable of achieving.

    Needless to say, I overcame all of this. I managed to escape the wheelchair, to curb the bullies (only to be bullied later on in my working life), to attend mainstream state school (although it was a poorly performing school).

    I left school with below average GCSEs after having become involved with a bad group of people , I was misled, I struggled having had learning difficulties also.

    Despite this, I got my act together, I knuckled down in college, got the required grades together to go to University.

    I went off to university, dropped out after experiencing significant psychological and social problems fitting it- depression and social anxiety. I isolated myself.

    I later re-enrolled, went to a different uni, passed with a 2.1 (with mitigation in areas- due to mental health).

    Fast forward to now, after having moved away from the family home, with my partner. I work in a horrible toxic environment in the food industry. Its full of bullies that didn't achieve anything in life, so they have to bully you.

    I'm ill with work-related stress, I drink all the time, I'm at my wits end.

    I've been applying for graduate jobs for months and months and nothing is working. Im getting further along the application process but I dunno how much more resilience I have in me in all honesty.

    all my life I've fought and I just feel a bit of a failure. I guess I wanted to be the one in my family to prove a point to do well, to be successful in a decent job, to be married and on my way to own a nice house.

    I guess I am a bit entitled, due to the praise I got as a child, particularly when I turned things around. Nobody expected me to achieve a lot and I have and I guess the praise is internalised to an extent.

    I'm not your average joe, ive been through more than many on TSR, yet I feel like a massive failure. Sat at home on my days off bored ,with not knowing anyone in my area, no direction, searching for a grad job in my industry.

    Every day I apply for work. Every single day. And every single day I check my emails, and nothing. Yes i might get an email to say I'm to the next stage, but thats outweighed by the rejection that usually follows....

    I am ill with depression and work-related stress-- what gives?

    Sure I go to my GP, sure I have counselling but I gave up hope a long time ago...
    Well you have come this far. Just keep going. I know its harder said than done but you know what you need to do. If your giving it your best then there is nothing more you can do. Things do get better though. Life if full of ups and downs and you have already noticed that. If it was a straight line it means you would just be dead.
 
 
 
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