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Feel like I've been played :/ Watch

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    I was there for this girl I know post-breakup, her ex-dude cheated on her multiple times and she was a literal mess, I helped her through that period, and while I didn't want to be "that guy" I figured we were close enough that I'd do what I could to help, such as making her laugh and stuff.

    Roll on a couple months worth of lengthy msging and calls which led to a few hookups even, I find out she had regained contact with her Ex and she's still into him. Oh and instead of telling me or something, all this ***** does is reduce contact with me, like I suddenly don't exist.

    I got sucked into this potential relationship thing without even wanting it initially, and at the point where I'm thinking "ok maybe this can work" I get offed just as quickly... Yeah there's no particular point to this I just need places to vent. Why I never pursue relationships in a nutshell. Please tell me how stupid I am, thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was there for this girl I know post-breakup, her ex-dude cheated on her multiple times and she was a literal mess, I helped her through that period, and while I didn't want to be "that guy" I figured we were close enough that I'd do what I could to help, such as making her laugh and stuff.

    Roll on a couple months worth of lengthy msging and calls which led to a few hookups even, I find out she had regained contact with her Ex and she's still into him. Oh and instead of telling me or something, all this ***** does is reduce contact with me, like I suddenly don't exist.

    I got sucked into this potential relationship thing without even wanting it initially, and at the point where I'm thinking "ok maybe this can work" I get offed just as quickly... Yeah there's no particular point to this I just need places to vent. Why I never pursue relationships in a nutshell. Please tell me how stupid I am, thanks
    Well not fair on her sending you mixed signals like that, at the end of the day she will never be happy if she keeps going back to him. I would move on and forget her.
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    Lol, don't worry. Situations like this happen all the time, most females have a reputation of choosing their ex instead of just moving on. I guess it is harder for her to be without him than with him.

    You just fell in the middle of it because you wanted to help. No need to feel bad, it's her loss if she chose to stay with someone who constantly cheats on her.
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    This is one of many reasons why I don't think I'm ready for a relationship, never had a proper one.
    If she's going back to him after what he did to her then she can't be particularly intelligent, and if she is then she's blinded by her feelings towards him. Just make sure that when she comes back to you upset after he does the same thing -inevitably- again, tell her no, she lead you on once, don't give her the satisfaction of letting her do it a second time.

    P.s. We aren't all like that, I promise.
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    I appreciate the encouraging words guys. I typically just end up choosing the wrong girl and it happened again here...

    The amount of time and thought I invested in her is actually making me sick. I can safely say I will never understand women, I mean I don't want to generalise and say all girls because I know there are good, honest females out there, but it seems the majority are either contradictory in what they say or they aren't very straight.

    Just save me the time instead of making me go all Sherlock having to connect dots together to work out that you're a pathetic ****. I'd have so much more respect if she admitted it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I appreciate the encouraging words guys. I typically just end up choosing the wrong girl and it happened again here...

    The amount of time and thought I invested in her is actually making me sick. I can safely say I will never understand women, I mean I don't want to generalise and say all girls because I know there are good, honest females out there, but it seems the majority are either contradictory in what they say or they aren't very straight.

    Just save me the time instead of making me go all Sherlock having to connect dots together to work out that you're a pathetic ****. I'd have so much more respect if she admitted it.
    We all chose the wrong person at least once, whether it was a friend or a partner. It's okay, I understand your frustration.

    There will come a woman that won't play games with you and you won't have to struggle to understand her.

    Just think about what an amazing individual you are if you invested so much in the wrong person then the right person will deff be the luckiest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was there for this girl I know post-breakup, her ex-dude cheated on her multiple times and she was a literal mess, I helped her through that period, and while I didn't want to be "that guy" I figured we were close enough that I'd do what I could to help, such as making her laugh and stuff.

    Roll on a couple months worth of lengthy msging and calls which led to a few hookups even, I find out she had regained contact with her Ex and she's still into him. Oh and instead of telling me or something, all this ***** does is reduce contact with me, like I suddenly don't exist.

    I got sucked into this potential relationship thing without even wanting it initially, and at the point where I'm thinking "ok maybe this can work" I get offed just as quickly... Yeah there's no particular point to this I just need places to vent. Why I never pursue relationships in a nutshell. Please tell me how stupid I am, thanks
    I understand you are angry with her but you were the rebound she never properly got over the ex/bf. Yes you hooked up but she was probably confused and didn't know what she wanted hence going back to him as she still has feelings for him.
    Have you spoke about being together or was it a casual thing between you? seems like it wasn't serious to her did you communicate your feelings to her?
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    She was never obliged to tell you, just cut her off.
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    (Original post by l'etranger)
    She was never obliged to tell you, just cut her off.
    Nobody's obliged to do anything, but by the sound of it, telling him really would have been the decent thing to do.
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    (Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
    Nobody's obliged to do anything, but by the sound of it, telling him really would have been the decent thing to do.
    Why? She's a stupid slut and he was hanging around with her to take advantage and that's all cool but both of them deserve to get burned given their inner weakness and foolish decision making.
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    (Original post by l'etranger)
    Why? She's a stupid slut and he was hanging around with her to take advantage and that's all cool but both of them deserve to get burned given their inner weakness and foolish decision making.
    You know, I think you might be being just a little bit judgmental about this whole thing. It doesn't sound like he entered into the relationship with the intention of taking advantage of her - in fact he specifically said that he thought about that dynamic and didn't want to be the guy. I don't think either of them "deserves to get burned" for what they did, still less for what you refer to as "inner weakness". If a person is going through a tough time and isn't thinking rationally, that isn't an excuse for yet more emotional punishment.

    This kind of retributive moral reasoning is what makes many people unhappy in their relationships.
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    So you figured that you could be a girl's rebound, and you got burnt hard. Anyone could have told you that's not a smart move, but you live and you learn.

    Her slowly cutting contact with you was quite dickish though, so you still get my sympathy.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    I understand you are angry with her but you were the rebound she never properly got over the ex/bf. Yes you hooked up but she was probably confused and didn't know what she wanted hence going back to him as she still has feelings for him.
    Have you spoke about being together or was it a casual thing between you? seems like it wasn't serious to her did you communicate your feelings to her?
    She definitely mentioned it earlier on, which is what confused the hell out of me... but at that point I was still trying to avoid the whole rebound thing. More recently we had been around eachother enough to where I had become way more responsive to her advances. Then around after xmas she went way more frosty with me... I know girls get emotional and stuff so I brushed it off as nothing. Would she be like this if she didn't think I liked her?

    Only yesterday I was made aware that she was looking to get back with him. Which apparently already happened. Then I look back at everything that happened between us, and how I found out. I can only feel like some insane idiot despite the kind words from most of you haha.

    Oh and in regards to how I found out... Her former friend told me. And yeah, I was very skeptical till she showed me the necessary whatsapp screenshots. Oh yeah this is the friend who the Ex in mention got together with when he was seeing the girl in mention... Even typing that makes it sound too ridiculous to be true but turns out it is :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was there for this girl I know post-breakup, her ex-dude cheated on her multiple times and she was a literal mess, I helped her through that period, and while I didn't want to be "that guy" I figured we were close enough that I'd do what I could to help, such as making her laugh and stuff.

    Roll on a couple months worth of lengthy msging and calls which led to a few hookups even, I find out she had regained contact with her Ex and she's still into him. Oh and instead of telling me or something, all this ***** does is reduce contact with me, like I suddenly don't exist.

    I got sucked into this potential relationship thing without even wanting it initially, and at the point where I'm thinking "ok maybe this can work" I get offed just as quickly... Yeah there's no particular point to this I just need places to vent. Why I never pursue relationships in a nutshell. Please tell me how stupid I am, thanks
    Firstly, I think you're an amazing person for being so selfless and helping her out and being there for her when she needed someone. Obviously due to the constant long messages etc you started to feel some kind of connection with this girl. And the hookups just make you feel something more for her than you ever did. But her trying to get back to her ex just shows that she is not worth it and she definitely isn't good enough for you. The fact that even after hooking up with you she's trying to get back to her ex shows how desperate she is and honestly you don't need someone like that in your life. Yes unfortunately you ended up being dragged into this relationship but it's all up to you to make your way to the exit too. This girl clearly is just desperate to be back with her ex and just lead you on and you honestly don't deserve that. I know it's going to be hard to forget about her but once you just cut off contact with her and never speak to her again it'll get easier. If she genuinely even for a moment gave a damn about what you've done for her or even cares just a bit then she'll try and speak to you and if not then she really isn't worth it. Don't let her do your head in, she really isn't worth it if she's going back to her ex. She clearly doesn't know why her ex is her ex in the first place. Let her do whatever she wants and just walk away. And if she comes running back to you again after her ex breaks her tiny little heart yeah don't bother trying to fix the pieces again.. you're not her bloody handy many to fix everything of hers that breaks. If that ever happens let her deal with it herself.. let her learn for herself the second time why her ex is her ex. And as for you dude, don't stress about her and don't let her do your head in. You seem like a nice person and any girl would be lucky to have you. Don't fret about this... you'll be able to move on soon. The right kind of girl will come into your life. She surely doesn't seem like the right girl for you and she's not worthy enough for you. If she ever comes around to you next time make sure you let her know that she isn't worth your time, space or anything and definitely not worthy enough for you. Don't let yourself get played and toyed around like that, just be a bit cautious for next time. And remember dude, you're way more worth than that!


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was there for this girl I know post-breakup, her ex-dude cheated on her multiple times and she was a literal mess, I helped her through that period, and while I didn't want to be "that guy" I figured we were close enough that I'd do what I could to help, such as making her laugh and stuff.

    Roll on a couple months worth of lengthy msging and calls which led to a few hookups even, I find out she had regained contact with her Ex and she's still into him. Oh and instead of telling me or something, all this ***** does is reduce contact with me, like I suddenly don't exist.

    I got sucked into this potential relationship thing without even wanting it initially, and at the point where I'm thinking "ok maybe this can work" I get offed just as quickly... Yeah there's no particular point to this I just need places to vent. Why I never pursue relationships in a nutshell. Please tell me how stupid I am, thanks
    You're not stupid at all. You couldn't have seen it coming. It's clear she took advantage of your generosity and your kind feelings towards her and it wasn't fair on you. I agree she did play you but don't let her succeed in making you feel like an utter mess. Life is all about learning stuff, right? Get back on your feet and over time forget about it, and if she ever comes to pop up again, don't pay her the same generosity that you once did. While your feeling upset right now though, close friends are great to talk and if you are musical or maybe like to write, write your feelings out. Do things with friends as well, get out more and keep yourself busy, maybe use the gym or go get some lunch with your friends. She isn't worth your heart feeling torn, or your tears. You aren't in the wrong and you couldn't have seen it coming.

    I hope you feel better soon.
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    Don't try anything with sluts unless all you want is sex yourself. You'l get rekt lol.

    listen to tupac lmao.

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    She didn't have the decency to tell you, cut her off. It must hurt but you can find a better person man.

    Hope it all ends up okay for you mate.
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    Woah thanks for all the support and advice, people. I'll take something from every msg here, seriously.

    Well I spoke to the girl in mention directly after 2 days of silence, I basically told her that she sucks for not speaking up, I also told her not to seek me out if she finds herself in a similar situation she was in last year(she'd vent stuff about her uni troubles and her homesickness to me often). She was kinda frantic like she wasn't sure what she wanted. She was really busy in that time and said her ex was also trying to force contact. That stuff is fine but I don't want to be in a situation where I'm playing tug of war. I also didn't want to get caught up in the drama between those people. It's just not me. I just want to have a good time with good people.

    Was feeling a lot better before that conversation anyway now I think I'm fine, I mean I wish I never got so close but it was so natural guess I couldn't help myself.
 
 
 
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