Shy around girls - how to feel more comfortable? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Im 21 and never had a proper girlfriend. I've had sex with a few girls on one night stands, but this would have been when I was quite drunk - and so were the girls...
Not finding a girlfriend for so long is starting to get me down and depressed

There's a couple girls I'm talking to at the moment, who I'm 80% sure like me. But I am too shy to make the first move. The most would have been me giving them a kiss on the cheek for new years lol.

I like to think I'm decent looking, but I think it's my personality that lets me down.
When I'm speaking to a good looking girl face to face, one on one, I start to get nervous and cant think straight. So the conversation normally ends quite quickly and becomes awkward. Drinking alcohol makes the conversation go a bit smoother, but I don't want to always have to drink to have the confidence to speak to girls.

I've started messaging a few girls that I know online, this is much less nerve-racking for me since I have extra time to think of replies. But we talk about boring subjects, uni life, work and things like that. I've been told by friends that the key is having good banter with the girl, and to make them laugh. But to be honest, I don't have much banter lol.

My friends have shown me chats with girls they're talking to, and they make it look so easy! They think of funny replies within minutes.

I don't know what to talk to girls about, I guess I don't feel as comfortable talking to them about everything that I talk to with my male friends (often we talk about girls haha).

So I guess my question is:
How can I become more confident with girls?
What are some good topics to talk about, to let them know I'm interested in them? Instead of just a friendly chat
How do I make a move on them, what actions can I do to let them know I'm interested?
And how can I make them laugh?
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UWS
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#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
You need to lose whatever insecurities you have and live with them. Maybe start going to the gym or pick up new hobbies, that way you'll meet new people too and gain some confidence in yourself.

Topics? Anything you want really; don't get too personal at the start though, it's a little creepy. I don't know how else to help from here since I've never done that before lol. Sharing funny stories that you've recently experienced does help though, and maybe she can relate to it too.

I think the best thing to do is to ask them out on a date, it's about as clear cut as it can get. Make sure you make it clear that it is a date and not a casual hang out though. Flirting also helps...

Don't try to force being funny. The key to making jokes is timing and if you can't think of anything funny, then don't say it. Some people are just naturally funny and for others it takes a little practice. I guess watching sketches or stand up comedy for inspiration helps too.
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AB25
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#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Im 21 and never had a proper girlfriend. I've had sex with a few girls on one night stands, but this would have been when I was quite drunk - and so were the girls...
Not finding a girlfriend for so long is starting to get me down and depressed

There's a couple girls I'm talking to at the moment, who I'm 80% sure like me. But I am too shy to make the first move. The most would have been me giving them a kiss on the cheek for new years lol.

I like to think I'm decent looking, but I think it's my personality that lets me down.
When I'm speaking to a good looking girl face to face, one on one, I start to get nervous and cant think straight. So the conversation normally ends quite quickly and becomes awkward. Drinking alcohol makes the conversation go a bit smoother, but I don't want to always have to drink to have the confidence to speak to girls.

I've started messaging a few girls that I know online, this is much less nerve-racking for me since I have extra time to think of replies. But we talk about boring subjects, uni life, work and things like that. I've been told by friends that the key is having good banter with the girl, and to make them laugh. But to be honest, I don't have much banter lol.

My friends have shown me chats with girls they're talking to, and they make it look so easy! They think of funny replies within minutes.

I don't know what to talk to girls about, I guess I don't feel as comfortable talking to them about everything that I talk to with my male friends (often we talk about girls haha).

So I guess my question is:
How can I become more confident with girls?
What are some good topics to talk about, to let them know I'm interested in them? Instead of just a friendly chat
How do I make a move on them, what actions can I do to let them know I'm interested?
And how can I make them laugh?
To become more confident you first need to become ok with the prospect of rejection: accept that you are not perfect and that, sometime, you will be rejected. Just like everybody else.

As soon as you accept that you will let go of the enormous expectation you are placing upon these interactions with women. Just chat with them like you would chat to anybody else. Then, if you feel like it, just ask one of them to go for a drink with you. Worst case scenario? They say no. But if you're ok with rejection this won't matter. The more you expose yourself to rejection the more you'll take chances. Trust me, just go for it
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Bulletzone
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#4
Report 3 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Im 21 and never had a proper girlfriend. I've had sex with a few girls on one night stands, but this would have been when I was quite drunk - and so were the girls...
Not finding a girlfriend for so long is starting to get me down and depressed

There's a couple girls I'm talking to at the moment, who I'm 80% sure like me. But I am too shy to make the first move. The most would have been me giving them a kiss on the cheek for new years lol.

I like to think I'm decent looking, but I think it's my personality that lets me down.
When I'm speaking to a good looking girl face to face, one on one, I start to get nervous and cant think straight. So the conversation normally ends quite quickly and becomes awkward. Drinking alcohol makes the conversation go a bit smoother, but I don't want to always have to drink to have the confidence to speak to girls.

I've started messaging a few girls that I know online, this is much less nerve-racking for me since I have extra time to think of replies. But we talk about boring subjects, uni life, work and things like that. I've been told by friends that the key is having good banter with the girl, and to make them laugh. But to be honest, I don't have much banter lol.

My friends have shown me chats with girls they're talking to, and they make it look so easy! They think of funny replies within minutes.

I don't know what to talk to girls about, I guess I don't feel as comfortable talking to them about everything that I talk to with my male friends (often we talk about girls haha).

So I guess my question is:
How can I become more confident with girls?
What are some good topics to talk about, to let them know I'm interested in them? Instead of just a friendly chat
How do I make a move on them, what actions can I do to let them know I'm interested?
And how can I make them laugh?
Same problem here

I'd advise you to just start with your friends, be funny around them. For some reason ever since I started a new school, practically anything I d is deemed funny and is 75% of the time recorded
I am the last person here who could help you, but you need to talk to them the way in which you could talk to your male friends?
Um,
Practice makes Perfect right? Well I'd say just continue Practising.
It greatly helps if the girl is not a stuck up who gives zero response and dead replies. Honestly, If they do such a thing, don't waste your time on them. Sadly whenever I talk to a cheerful female it ends up being my teacher
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EuphoniumGuy645
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#5
Report 9 months ago
#5
Mate I know how you feel
You need to just be your self
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