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I want to be with a white Muslim ? Watch

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    I'm a 17 year old girl brown and Muslim and I am in a 4 months relationship with a guy that's 15 and white Muslim. I have never had a boyfriend before and would hate to be single. I'd always talk to other boys for time pass but then one day I came home and I see this boy in my driveway with my younger brother. He's best friends with my 13 year old brother and the day we met each other we were both attracted to one another. I had no idea he was Muslim until I found out his name and I even made him resite some stuff from Quran to make me believe him. So basically we were attracted to one another he would always come over talk to my brother and stuff but he was one of them gangster people that try act cool and rap all the time. My mums friend knows him and says he's not a good kid because he was dogging it once with her son. So my mum started to dislike him and think he wasn't a good influence. He then brought his sister over and stuff and my mum started liking him. Then soon after that day my neighbours got cheeky with his younger brother and being a normal older brother he obviously backed his brother up and my neighbours dad punched him. So my boyfriends mum called the police and my younger brother was seen as a witness. This is the main reason my mum and dad hate home because the police came over. At this moment they don't know me and him are in a relationship. We started talking and he told me how much he liked me and so on. I thought he was younger so I didn't think of anything of it but I soon realised how I also developed feelings and was attracted to him. He then asked me out and I said yes as I thought it would only last a week or 2. It's now been 4 months and I do see a future with him. My younger and older brothers know and so do my cousins. My older brother thinks I'm mad and dumb because he says my parents will never approve of him not only him being younger but also him being white he says it's a big deal because it'll never work out. He says my mum will be devasted if she finds out and I know it will hurt her but in the Quran it says the prophet was married to Khadija 15 years older than him and also that you can marry a white guy as long as he's Muslim. In Islam it's allowed so I don't see the problem. He is a well trained Muslim he goes to Jammat ever month. He's learning the Quran by heart. He reads namaz and his mum is also very religious she's also white but wears a scarf and abaya. I know I'm too young to think about marriage but if I see a future with him I need to be able to tell my parents. I know my mum will not be happy and she won't agree but if it's allowed in Islam it shouldn't be a problem ? I can't help the way I feel about someone! And I know he won't leave me I know how much he cares about me. Before we even met I was lookin for someone and he came into my life out of nowhere literally! There was no way we could of met. I feel as if we are meant to be and if we r not it will end itself! What should I do? Should I stop before stuffs get even more serious or keep going and see how it goes at the end of the day it's my life? If it's allowed is Islam legally why should if she wrong ? I understand it's culture a girl with a white Muslim looks bad but it matters about being Muslim ? He's also 2 years younger which means by the time I finish uni he will start it. I don't mind waiting if I have to just as long as they give me permission. I don't know what to do? I don't want to tell my mum right now coz I know she will say no because we r still young and he's still to sit his first exams in high school. His background is also very different from mine as he's a gangster type of boy always rapping and stuff. But he is mature also he's got a job at he age of 15 and he's been through a lot of stuff which isn't fair on him. My brother and cousin were saying how my family will react to me marrying a white boyfriend even though he's Muslim people will say stuff and that stuff will be forwarded to my mother not me. This is why I'm worried because people will say stuff to her and not me and she dosent deserves that. At the end of the day I do care about her a lot but I can't help the way I feel about someone and it's allowed in Islam it should be ok! Yes I know she dosent like him she thinks he's a bad influence but he's still young and so am I we both have our life ahead of us. I know I'm thinkin ahead but before it gets longer I'd rather know what to do. At the moment I feel I should just keep it going and see how it goes if its meant to last it will and if it's not something will end us. It's all in allahs hands now because I know he came into my life for a reason.

    Pleass help me and give me advice I'd really appreciate it!

    Thanks!
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    wot r paragraphs
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    This whole post could have been 3 lines without losing any important information.

    Date who you want and seeing as you share the same religious beliefs it should be easy. You're both too young (especially him) to even be thinking about marriage, cross that bridge when you get to it - if you get to it.

    Also, at 17 I could never imagine dating a 15 year old but do you (and don't break any laws IYGM).
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by nabz111)
    I'm a 17 year old girl brown and Muslim and I am in a 4 months relationship with a guy that's 15 and white Muslim. I have never had a boyfriend before and would hate to be single. I'd always talk to other boys for time pass but then one day I came home and I see this boy in my driveway with my younger brother. He's best friends with my 13 year old brother and the day we met each other we were both attracted to one another. I had no idea he was Muslim until I found out his name and I even made him resite some stuff from Quran to make me believe him. So basically we were attracted to one another he would always come over talk to my brother and stuff but he was one of them gangster people that try act cool and rap all the time. My mums friend knows him and says he's not a good kid because he was dogging it once with her son. So my mum started to dislike him and think he wasn't a good influence. He then brought his sister over and stuff and my mum started liking him. Then soon after that day my neighbours got cheeky with his younger brother and being a normal older brother he obviously backed his brother up and my neighbours dad punched him. So my boyfriends mum called the police and my younger brother was seen as a witness. This is the main reason my mum and dad hate home because the police came over. At this moment they don't know me and him are in a relationship. We started talking and he told me how much he liked me and so on. I thought he was younger so I didn't think of anything of it but I soon realised how I also developed feelings and was attracted to him. He then asked me out and I said yes as I thought it would only last a week or 2. It's now been 4 months and I do see a future with him. My younger and older brothers know and so do my cousins. My older brother thinks I'm mad and dumb because he says my parents will never approve of him not only him being younger but also him being white he says it's a big deal because it'll never work out. He says my mum will be devasted if she finds out and I know it will hurt her but in the Quran it says the prophet was married to Khadija 15 years older than him and also that you can marry a white guy as long as he's Muslim. In Islam it's allowed so I don't see the problem. He is a well trained Muslim he goes to Jammat ever month. He's learning the Quran by heart. He reads namaz and his mum is also very religious she's also white but wears a scarf and abaya. I know I'm too young to think about marriage but if I see a future with him I need to be able to tell my parents. I know my mum will not be happy and she won't agree but if it's allowed in Islam it shouldn't be a problem ? I can't help the way I feel about someone! And I know he won't leave me I know how much he cares about me. Before we even met I was lookin for someone and he came into my life out of nowhere literally! There was no way we could of met. I feel as if we are meant to be and if we r not it will end itself! What should I do? Should I stop before stuffs get even more serious or keep going and see how it goes at the end of the day it's my life? If it's allowed is Islam legally why should if she wrong ? I understand it's culture a girl with a white Muslim looks bad but it matters about being Muslim ? He's also 2 years younger which means by the time I finish uni he will start it. I don't mind waiting if I have to just as long as they give me permission. I don't know what to do? I don't want to tell my mum right now coz I know she will say no because we r still young and he's still to sit his first exams in high school. His background is also very different from mine as he's a gangster type of boy always rapping and stuff. But he is mature also he's got a job at he age of 15 and he's been through a lot of stuff which isn't fair on him. My brother and cousin were saying how my family will react to me marrying a white boyfriend even though he's Muslim people will say stuff and that stuff will be forwarded to my mother not me. This is why I'm worried because people will say stuff to her and not me and she dosent deserves that. At the end of the day I do care about her a lot but I can't help the way I feel about someone and it's allowed in Islam it should be ok! Yes I know she dosent like him she thinks he's a bad influence but he's still young and so am I we both have our life ahead of us. I know I'm thinkin ahead but before it gets longer I'd rather know what to do. At the moment I feel I should just keep it going and see how it goes if its meant to last it will and if it's not something will end us. It's all in allahs hands now because I know he came into my life for a reason.

    Pleass help me and give me advice I'd really appreciate it!

    Thanks!
    I am a Muslim and have Muslim parents. However my parents are very lenient and would not care who I married as long as they where a good person and I am happy. Even if I wanted to marry a non Muslim my parents would allow it
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    So your neighbor's dad punched a 15 year old boy?!

    In general you are a bit young to be thinking about marriage. If he is going to get you into drugs or other bad things then you'd better not hang around with him.

    But if your parents don't object and you like him then you can just spend time together and see where it goes.

    Being 2 years older is not an issue in the long run in general.

    I can't say anything about what is allowed for Muslims and whether a white boyfriend or husband would cause you problems because I don't know enough about the religion or the culture of your family and community.
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    https://media.tenor.co/images/6d0666...d52aa35994/raw
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    Relationships like that are haram so you should stop that. You should try to do it the Islamic way and get him to approach your parents (or get his parents to approach your parents for him) for marriage. Other than being Islamic, that way might also be better for approaching your parents as then they will be more likely to think good of him and take him seriously.

    Be vary of the wnabee gangster behavior though. Although he is young so it may just be a phase. However I can understand why your mum disapproves of that. He should look to change that behavior. His other achievements like being a hafiz are really good.

    Try to get your brothers on your side and maybe other family members too and then they can help persuade your parents insha'Allah.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Relationships like that are haram so you should stop that. You should try to do it the Islamic way and get him to approach your parents (or get his parents to approach your parents for him) for marriage. Other than being Islamic, that way might also be better for approaching your parents as then they will be more likely to think good of him and take him seriously.

    Be vary of wnabee gangsters though. Although he is young so it may just be a phase. However I can understand why your mum disapproves of that. He should look to change that behavior. His other achievements like being a hafiz are really good.

    Try to get your brothers on your side and maybe other family members too and then they can help persuade your parents insha'Allah.
    He's 15.
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    (Original post by thatswrong.)
    He's 15.
    I know. Becomes legal at 16 (with parental consent), not too long now.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    I know. Becomes legal at 16 (with parental consent), not too long now.
    You're on a student website and yet you're telling her to get married at 17. Sorry mate but that's terrible advice.
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    Damn this boy is dating his friends 2 year older sister.







    DAMN BOY, man lyke.
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    (Original post by thatswrong.)
    You're on a student website and yet you're telling her to get married at 17. Sorry mate but that's terrible advice.
    Well to you it seems so yeh (as being married young is probably alien to you) but I'm only going to give a Muslim Islamic advice and nothing less.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Well to you it seems so yeh (as being married young is probably alien to you) but I'm only going to give a Muslim Islamic advice and nothing less.
    In western civilisation this isn't normal. We get a job and become financially stable before marriage and stuff. Marrying young is alien to me because I come form a civilised background.

    The way you talk almost makes it seem like the family is passing ownership of OP from family to husband.
    • #2
    #2

    Why does it matter what ethnicity this kid is? Hate crap like that, also a 17 year old and a 15 year old I think is a little old. From my experience there's a maturity gap which is far too large to even consider it
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    @ OP

    http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...25/428/264.jpg
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    (Original post by Zephrom)
    Damn this boy is dating his friends 2 year older sister.

    DAMN BOY, man lyke.
    AND he fought the neighbor's dad.
    Kid isn't playing at being ganster.
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    Didn't Allah use paragraphs in the Q'uran?
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    (Original post by thatswrong.)
    In western civilisation this isn't normal. We get a job and become financially stable before marriage and stuff. Marrying young is alien to me because I come form a civilised background.

    The way you talk almost makes it seem like the family is passing ownership of OP from family to husband.
    Being married young doesn't define whether a person is from a civilized background or not. In any case, don't worry, I'm not sure why you're getting so worked up over it.
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    (Original post by FranktheYank)
    AND he fought the neighbor's dad.
    Kid isn't playing at being ganster.
    I feel sorry for the OP.

    How can she have fallen for a 15 year old road man?

    EDIT: I'll try and make this post more productive i guess.

    These feelings you have as a 17 year old girl towards a 15 year old boy are as permanent as snow. It is EXTREMELY unlikely that you are going to have feelings towards him in a years time, when you are at University and mingling with people your own age and he is still at school slogging through GCSE's/A-levels.

    Just let the relationship flow as it will and be ready for it to end once you get near University.
 
 
 
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