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Moving out against parents' wishes/ family issues? Watch

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    Okay so back when I was around 17, my eldest sister snitched on me to my mum that i smoked weed and ever since, my mum and I have had an on/off relationship of trust. Basically every time I gain her trust back, I always somehow get caught for stuff she doesn't approve of (e.g. talking to my boyfriend/ something weed related etc).
    Might seem like normal stuff a 19 year old female would do but I come from a fairly traditional afghan family where boys, drinking, smoking and staying out til late are prohibited.
    Anyway, my mum was fine with me until yesterday when my sister found old Facebook messages on my laptop saying i was planning to smoke with my friend, a couple of months ago. I know my mum is going to confront me about it today along with the presence of my eldest sis and l have a feeling this is the final straw and I'm desperate to move out. The only thing is, my dad has no knowledge of the things I've done as my mum fears his reaction (e.g. he may get violent or it will affect his health (he has high blood pressure) and this is the only thing making me hesitant to just walk out. Im not sure if my mum will tell him this time and I don't want my dad blaming my mum for "not disciplining me enough" since their relationship is already *****y. My boyfriend said his parents would be happy to have me stay over until i find a place of my own and i have sufficient funds anyway. Any advice?
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    Your sister sounds like a *****. I would move out, even if just for a little while so your parents realise that you're allowed to make your own decisions in life. You have a place to go and sufficient funds like you said so why not go for it? Good luck if you do
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    (Original post by gwaggy)
    Your sister sounds like a *****. I would move out, even if just for a little while so your parents realise that you're allowed to make your own decisions in life. You have a place to go and sufficient funds like you said so why not go for it? Good luck if you do
    she really is I know about at least a couple of things my mum would definitely not approve of if i told her, but i don't know if i should stoop to her level
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    (Original post by microwsoft)
    she really is I know about at least a couple of things my mum would definitely not approve of if i told her, but i don't know if i should stoop to her level
    Probably won't help... I have a similar set up at home. She can do no wrong! :rolleyes:
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    Be honest with your father, tell him that you made these decisions yourself and if he needs to blame somebody it should be you. Then leave.

    I moved out when I was 16 and was very glad that I did. You are an adult, I think it is time for you to take control of your own life.

    Best of luck.
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    if you are to stay you need to address the sister issue imo, I would start fighting fire with fire, or start snooping through her stuff like she's doing to you...it seems like each time you have major issue's with your mum it's down to your sister grassing on you
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    UPDATE: I finally grew a pair of balls and firmly told my parents/ sister that I'm moving out and there is nothing they can do to stop me (obviously I tried to put forward my arguments but they were silenced by "you're a druggie, you only want to move out for drugs etc.". Needless to say, it caused a massive argument and resulted in my boyfriend waiting outside for me to pack my bags and leave basically haha. At the end, my dad cried and embraced me saying he doesn't want me to leave like this and he will help me move out but just don't run away basically. I agreed, and now i'm in the process of finding a new place to live in for the rest of second year Things have settled at home; no shouting/arguing, just the odd lecture here and there. Anyway, for anyone reading this in a similar situation: you can't expect change if you continue doing the same thing you always do! It's not gonna be plain sailing and if the issue is the same as mine, it will most definely end up in some sort of argument but if you feel it's most important for yourself and wellbeing then I promise you, it will be worth it. Just make sure you haev some sort of support until you get back on your feet
 
 
 
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