Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I just need a guys perspective
    I MISTAKENLY called my ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and I haven't been in touch in any form since. If I wanted to speak to him I would have asked first or dialled properly or even just sent a text. He's blocked me off every other form of communication (even though it's not as if I was bombarding him with messages). After I realised he's blocked me on whatsapp I sent a text saying it was completely by mistake. Whether or not he believes me is another story. My point is, is this childish and immature on his part? Or is he in the right? Does this show he's still angry at me? Or he's hurt? It's just upsetting me as if I ever wanted to get in touch with him (I wouldn't but in case it was something important or I finally decided to ask him to give me the closure I need and haven't received) then at least the option to reach out is there. But now he's completely denied me of that. I know it's silly but it's just upset me a little
    • #2
    #2

    your own fault for still having your ex's number on your phone

    when you move on, move on for good
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    He doesn't want to speak to you right now. Let it go.
    • #3
    #3

    He's your ex. Why do you care what he thinks? It ended badly so he's probably still pissed off and doesn't want to be reminded of it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    He doesn't want to speak to you right now. Let it go.
    But I haven't been in touch at all. No calls or texts. Nothing. just seems abit dramatic
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I haven't been in touch at all. No calls or texts. Nothing. just seems abit dramatic
    I can definitely understand that you feel it's extreme, but if that's his position, I doubt you'll have much luck changing it, and by trying to you certainly don't endear yourself to him.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just need a guys perspective
    I MISTAKENLY called my ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and I haven't been in touch in any form since. If I wanted to speak to him I would have asked first or dialled properly or even just sent a text. He's blocked me off every other form of communication (even though it's not as if I was bombarding him with messages). After I realised he's blocked me on whatsapp I sent a text saying it was completely by mistake. Whether or not he believes me is another story. My point is, is this childish and immature on his part? Or is he in the right? Does this show he's still angry at me? Or he's hurt? It's just upsetting me as if I ever wanted to get in touch with him (I wouldn't but in case it was something important or I finally decided to ask him to give me the closure I need and haven't received) then at least the option to reach out is there. But now he's completely denied me of that. I know it's silly but it's just upset me a little
    Why did you break up? to be honest when I get dumped I tend to block my ex's on any form of social media. To be honest I am afraid he is quite within his right to do that.
    Online

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Does it really matter in all honesty ? He's an ex !!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Supernova91)
    Does it really matter in all honesty ? He's an ex !!
    No it doesn't matter. But like I say it seems abit dramatic. He's completely shutting me out. Whereas with previous exes, we still have the odd chat just to see the other is okay and well
    Online

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No it doesn't matter. But like I say it seems abit dramatic. He's completely shutting me out. Whereas with previous exes, we still have the odd chat just to see the other is okay and well
    Maybe it's not so easy for him to do that, stay in touch . Might be easier for him to just cut off all ties x
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    i think thats mean..why did u split up ? and how long has it been?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by kaylababesxx)
    i think thats mean..why did u split up ? and how long has it been?
    Exactly !
    If I had been bugging him and persisting a reconnection I would have understood
    It's been a few months. As for reasons, it was just a difference in opinion and several minor issues built up and got out of hand. There was also interferences and manipulation from some of his friends and a lot of people believe he just got cold feet
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Surely it shouldn't be a problem if you're not really in contact anymore?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I understand as girls we block guys on a daily basis as we're emotional and dramatic. The guys I know would never do something like that, and those I've spoken to all said it's abit weird for a 28 year old to act this way
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    you're 2016 thats why he blocked u
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    let's reverse the plot a bit.

    say you "MISTAKENLY get a call from your ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and you haven't been in touch in any form since"; as far as you'd be concerned, the 'fact' that it was a mistake would be irrelevant. not only would this damage your current standings with your current partner (as insecure partners exist. let's not kid ourselves here. this is a reality of life that's ever more present as the days go on); it would come off as pathetic, creepy and desperate. you'd judge him for all eternity (if you had the same viewpoint as he did; that exes are meant to stay that way) for doing so, and call him a pathetic low-life for not moving on - a situation that should Never happen (however it does based on how you conduct your life - you love to keep in contact with your ex).

    what you fail to remember/take note off is, that just because he's an ex; it doesn't entitle you to judge his manner of interacting with you. it doesn't allow you to belittle or question his way of dealing with the fact that you're not together anymore. it's over. it's done. calling him would just add insult to injury and split open a wound that shouldn't have been opened in the first place (speaking from his supposed viewpoint in which i can only hazard a guess as to the reason for his appropriate conduct).
    we as humans possess the ability to Choose how we want to live our life and expect to be given the chance to do so without judgement (unless illegal/what-have-you). you likely didn't see him commenting on your exes when you were together, and if this is his way of dealing with the break-up; why can't you allow him to do so in peace?)

    at some point in time, it should occur to you, that not everyone sees the world the same way that you do; they don't deserve to be judged for that
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Surely it shouldn't be a problem if you're not really in contact anymore?
    My point is, I heard from his sister the engagements called off. Not him himself. There hasnt been any contact from him directly. Cliched as it is I need the closure. And now there's no chance of getting that which I find selfish on his part
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by theDanIdentity)
    let's reverse the plot a bit.

    say you "MISTAKENLY get a call from your ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and you haven't been in touch in any form since"; as far as you'd be concerned, the 'fact' that it was a mistake would be irrelevant. not only would this damage your current standings with your current partner (as insecure partners exist. let's not kid ourselves here. this is a reality of life that's ever more present as the days go on); it would come off as pathetic, creepy and desperate. you'd judge him for all eternity (if you had the same viewpoint as he did; that exes are meant to stay that way) for doing so, and call him a pathetic low-life for not moving on - a situation that should Never happen (however it does based on how you conduct your life).

    what you fail to remember/take note off is, that just because he's an ex; it doesn't entitle you to judge his manner of interacting with you. it doesn't allow you to belittle or question his way of dealing with the fact that you're not together anymore. it's over. it's done. calling him would just add insult to injury and split open a wound that shouldn't have been opened in the first place (speaking from his supposed viewpoint in which i can only hazard a guess as to the reason for his appropriate conduct).
    we as humans possess the ability to Choose how we want to live our life and expect to be given the chance to do so without judgement (unless illegal/what-have-you). you likely didn't see him commenting on your exes when you were together, and if this is his way of dealing with the break-up; why can't you allow him to do so in peace?)
    Fair point. It is what it is.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    why do you care if you don't see him like that any more...?
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just need a guys perspective
    I MISTAKENLY called my ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and I haven't been in touch in any form since. If I wanted to speak to him I would have asked first or dialled properly or even just sent a text. He's blocked me off every other form of communication (even though it's not as if I was bombarding him with messages). After I realised he's blocked me on whatsapp I sent a text saying it was completely by mistake. Whether or not he believes me is another story. My point is, is this childish and immature on his part? Or is he in the right? Does this show he's still angry at me? Or he's hurt? It's just upsetting me as if I ever wanted to get in touch with him (I wouldn't but in case it was something important or I finally decided to ask him to give me the closure I need and haven't received) then at least the option to reach out is there. But now he's completely denied me of that. I know it's silly but it's just upset me a little
    You dont give much background.
    How old?
    Length of relationship?
    How serious?
    Reasons for splitting?
    Who dumped who?
    End badly?

    Normal healthy way is to cut all contact, so you can both move on. If he wnated time to heal and you intruded, then I cna understand why he might be annoyed .

    If you wnat closure but he isnt ready to give it you, then you will have to wait.

    Honestly you should get on with life. Maybe when enough times elapsed you cna talk though an intermediary, but he seems sensitive atm. I cant tell because not much information.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 24, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.