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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My point is, I heard from his sister the engagements called off. Not him himself. There hasnt been any contact from him directly. Cliched as it is I need the closure. And now there's no chance of getting that which I find selfish on his part
    If he doesn't want anymore contact, I'd take that as closure then.
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    (Original post by theDanIdentity)
    let's reverse the plot a bit.

    say you "MISTAKENLY get a call from your ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and you haven't been in touch in any form since"; as far as you'd be concerned, the 'fact' that it was a mistake would be irrelevant. not only would this damage your current standings with your current partner (as insecure partners exist. let's not kid ourselves here. this is a reality of life that's ever more present as the days go on); it would come off as pathetic, creepy and desperate. you'd judge him for all eternity (if you had the same viewpoint as he did; that exes are meant to stay that way) for doing so, and call him a pathetic low-life for not moving on - a situation that should Never happen (however it does based on how you conduct your life - you love to keep in contact with your ex).

    what you fail to remember/take note off is, that just because he's an ex; it doesn't entitle you to judge his manner of interacting with you. it doesn't allow you to belittle or question his way of dealing with the fact that you're not together anymore. it's over. it's done. calling him would just add insult to injury and split open a wound that shouldn't have been opened in the first place (speaking from his supposed viewpoint in which i can only hazard a guess as to the reason for his appropriate conduct).
    we as humans possess the ability to Choose how we want to live our life and expect to be given the chance to do so without judgement (unless illegal/what-have-you). you likely didn't see him commenting on your exes when you were together, and if this is his way of dealing with the break-up; why can't you allow him to do so in peace?)

    at some point in time, it should occur to you, that not everyone sees the world the same way that you do; they don't deserve to be judged for that
    exam tommorow --> writes a paragraph on tsr
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just need a guys perspective
    I MISTAKENLY called my ex fiancé on whatsapp. It didn't end the best of ways, and I haven't been in touch in any form since. If I wanted to speak to him I would have asked first or dialled properly or even just sent a text. He's blocked me off every other form of communication (even though it's not as if I was bombarding him with messages). After I realised he's blocked me on whatsapp I sent a text saying it was completely by mistake. Whether or not he believes me is another story. My point is, is this childish and immature on his part? Or is he in the right? Does this show he's still angry at me? Or he's hurt? It's just upsetting me as if I ever wanted to get in touch with him (I wouldn't but in case it was something important or I finally decided to ask him to give me the closure I need and haven't received) then at least the option to reach out is there. But now he's completely denied me of that. I know it's silly but it's just upset me a little
    Multiple possibilities here:
    A; he ain't over you yet and is just making sure it doesn't happen again
    B; he doesn't really want an insecure partner finding out he still has your contact details

    Depends on numerous factors really, and I can't really say because I'm not him

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    (Original post by Andy98)
    Multiple possibilities here:
    A; he ain't over you yet and is just making sure it doesn't happen again
    B; he doesn't really want an insecure partner finding out he still has your contact details

    Depends on numerous factors really, and I can't really say because I'm not him

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    It can't be an insecure partner as prior to me he hasn't had a girlfriend in years and it's only been a few months and I would have found out if he had someone new
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You dont give much background.
    How old?
    Length of relationship?
    How serious?
    Reasons for splitting?
    Who dumped who?
    End badly?

    Normal healthy way is to cut all contact, so you can both move on. If he wnated time to heal and you intruded, then I cna understand why he might be annoyed .

    If you wnat closure but he isnt ready to give it you, then you will have to wait.

    Honestly you should get on with life. Maybe when enough times elapsed you cna talk though an intermediary, but he seems sensitive atm. I cant tell because not much information.
    He's 28
    3 years
    We were engaged, and we're halfway through planning a wedding so rather serious
    There's no definitive reason, simply an acummatuon of things
    He dumped me
    Things were said in anger the last time we spoke and then he needed time to think and then I heard from his sister it was over
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's 28
    3 years
    We were engaged, and we're halfway through planning a wedding so rather serious
    There's no definitive reason, simply an acummatuon of things
    He dumped me
    Things were said in anger the last time we spoke and then he needed time to think and then I heard from his sister it was over
    I would just leave it and move on. You being upset is pointless and wont achieve anything.

    He might be annoyed or angry or he might resent the things that were said i.e he's had time to think and he doesnt want anything to do with you. Let him get on with it.

    When you say you need closure, then he might feel he's moved on and your contact is enough to bring it all alive which he will resent. It drags him back. If you find someone else then you can look forward and the need for closure will be less. As it is just accept you were incompatible and you wouldnt have been a good match in the long run..
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    I would just leave it and move on. You being upset is pointless and wont achieve anything.

    He might be annoyed or angry or he might resent the things that were said i.e he's had time to think and he doesnt want anything to do with you. Let him get on with it.

    When you say you need closure, then he might feel he's moved on and your contact is enough to bring it all alive which he will resent. It drags him back. If you find someone else then you can look forward and the need for closure will be less. As it is just accept you were incompatible and you wouldnt have been a good match in the long run..
    You've hit th nail on the head. Thanks
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    (Original post by Proxenus)
    exam tommorow --> writes a paragraph on tsr
    seeeen. man's done with revision innit

    besides, look who's on tsr. pot, kettle.

    **now to hope and pray that those *******s don't give P&ID diagram questions. those ****ers can stay the hell away from me**
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You've hit th nail on the head. Thanks
    YW

    If you need closure, then you arent oing to get it from him, but you cna create your own.

    1. Appreciate the good.
    2. Learn from the things that didnt work.
    3. Accept you were never going to last and either one or noth of you would have been unhappy if you got married.
    4. You will move forward and find someone who is better suited and cna make you happier in the long term.
    5. Although im guessing you wnat a bit of closure on why things happened or things said in anger, when it comes down to it they are in the past. You cna guess what most of them are.
    6. Write down the questions you like to ask him, then sela them in an document and put it to one side.that way you cna get it out of your system and agree to revisit it x years in the future and if he ever calms down. for now leave him alone.


    Thts the way i would find self closure. you dont need him. You make peace with yourself on what you have available. its a healing process and you should be in a lot better state fi you work through the above.

    Hope that helps.
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    Bruh was a loser if he had his sister tell you the wedding was cancelled and you were breaking up.

    Move on. You got lucky you didn't actually marry him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Exactly !
    If I had been bugging him and persisting a reconnection I would have understood
    It's been a few months. As for reasons, it was just a difference in opinion and several minor issues built up and got out of hand. There was also interferences and manipulation from some of his friends and a lot of people believe he just got cold feet
    it's recent and he is still angry at you or has a very low opinion of you.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    YW

    If you need closure, then you arent oing to get it from him, but you cna create your own.

    1. Appreciate the good.
    2. Learn from the things that didnt work.
    3. Accept you were never going to last and either one or noth of you would have been unhappy if you got married.
    4. You will move forward and find someone who is better suited and cna make you happier in the long term.
    5. Although im guessing you wnat a bit of closure on why things happened or things said in anger, when it comes down to it they are in the past. You cna guess what most of them are.
    6. Write down the questions you like to ask him, then sela them in an document and put it to one side.that way you cna get it out of your system and agree to revisit it x years in the future and if he ever calms down. for now leave him alone.


    Thts the way i would find self closure. you dont need him. You make peace with yourself on what you have available. its a healing process and you should be in a lot better state fi you work through the above.

    Hope that helps.
    I've screenshotted your message. Thank you so much. X
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    (Original post by FranktheYank)
    Bruh was a loser if he had his sister tell you the wedding was cancelled and you were breaking up.

    Move on. You got lucky you didn't actually marry him.
    🙈 good riddance
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    it's recent and he is still angry at you or has a very low opinion of you.
    Honestly speaking, your comment hit me hard. It made me think. A lot. It bummed me out. The realisation and harsh reality of the fact that yes, you're right, he has a low opinion of me. And what's even worse is that I deserve it.
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    ye I only block exes when they've done nasty stuff and I don't think they're nice people. "Do I really want someone like that in my life?" is what I ask myself. I keep in contact with the chill ones.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly speaking, your comment hit me hard. It made me think. A lot. It bummed me out. The realisation and harsh reality of the fact that yes, you're right, he has a low opinion of me. And what's even worse is that I deserve it.
    I'm sure it's not all your fault, judging by the rest of your posts and the way he broke up with you (quite a childish and a nasty way of breaking up with someone).

    Should be happy you dodged a bullet, doesn't seem like it was a good relationship.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    ye I only block exes when they've done nasty stuff and I don't think they're nice people. "Do I really want someone like that in my life?" is what I ask myself. I keep in contact with the chill ones.



    I'm sure it's not all your fault, judging by the rest of your posts and the way he broke up with you (quite a childish and a nasty way of breaking up with someone).

    Should be happy you dodged a bullet, doesn't seem like it was a good relationship.
    True ... I get that. But don't you think it's nice to have a means of contact open in case they ever have something meaningful to say to you? I always like to end on decent terms. If the other needed me I'd always be there, not that any of them would turn to me since the bridges have been burnt but you cared about them once upon a time, and if they were in an extreme situation and only you could help... also sometimes years later they offer the apology you deserve. It's nice to have a way of saying it
    Yes it was a nasty way. Which is why I still feel the need for closure. Him blocking me now means there's no way I will get it. But yes I'm hearing from more and more people I've had a lucky escape x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True ... I get that. But don't you think it's nice to have a means of contact open in case they ever have something meaningful to say to you? I always like to end on decent terms. If the other needed me I'd always be there, not that any of them would turn to me since the bridges have been burnt but you cared about them once upon a time, and if they were in an extreme situation and only you could help... also sometimes years later they offer the apology you deserve. It's nice to have a way of saying it
    Yes it was a nasty way. Which is why I still feel the need for closure. Him blocking me now means there's no way I will get it. But yes I'm hearing from more and more people I've had a lucky escape x
    It really depends if the girl was a complete crazy. If she was a complete crazy then I block for my own safety and well being lmao. I mean some girls are just completely bad people with no redeeming qualities. so they need to be blocked for your own mental health. Because they'd probably try to manipulate you / use you still if you gave them a means of contact.

    Sometimes you have to block them because you still love them and you need to get over it, and not seeing their name or face anywhere helps you forget and move on. Would still unblock at a later date though if thats the case.

    Or it can be a mixture of love, hate and confusion and you still need to block it out so you can put it out of your mind and think of other things lol.
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    My sister's ex did something similar to this; they were a LDR and he went on a holiday to Turkey. After he came back, he broke up with her, no explanations given; he pointedly called her a 'cold-hearted *****' and then proceeded to block her on all social media and also me.. To this day, he still has both of us blocked. Yeah, I get it. Petty af, but it's a good thing my sister is resilient and moved on.

    I hope you get closure, you deserve to forgive yourself and move on too.
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    I think it's a bit harsh but he's clearly not over it yet, otherwise he wouldn't mind. Just channel your inner Elsa and let it go because whatever he's feeling need not pass onto you

    You'll be OK
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    I've been in his situation and it shows he's still angry and hurt and doesn't want anything to do with you.

    If he was highly attracted to you, that's another story.. closure is.. impossible in that case.

    Two things have hurt me the most with my two previous exes:
    - 1) a cheating ex for whom you didn't have feelings at all
    - 2) an ex who still loves me but does her own relationship thing anyway

    These are reasons for blocking and hating.
 
 
 
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