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I may have to give up on acting... Watch

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    Despite having a condition like autism, I no longer get any support. I've had a long history of being cyberbullied online as well, because I am lonely and spend much of my life going online. Social services have been unwilling or unable to find new male support workers for flexible support sessions, and my social worker also does not want to pay caregivers £16 an hour just to escort me to a movie set. I've tried to argue my point across that they could indeed also participate, and they would not just be doing nothing either. However, chronic anxiety (of all types) overwhelms me, so I feel going to film sets with people would ease my discomfort, but it looks like I'm on my own there.

    Due to incidents that occurred because I was betrayed by my older support workers, I'm not allowed to work with females now, because I got accused of harassing 2 female support workers I had years ago, and the whole thing was turned 180 degrees around and blown out of proportion, so I went down for something I never did. Basically, I had a crush on my Spanish key worker and people blabbed. Before she was dropped from this role, she started not treating me very nice, and I was upset about her superiors lying to me. They later admitted once I got remanded that they should have handled things better. But when I apologized in messages, the court kept jailing me, and one time I was fully committed to prison. It is a very long, confusing story. But anyway, don't go accusing me of dodging the truth, making up stuff for sympathy or anything. It's just too long a tale to delve into.

    Last year, I so badly wanted to be an extra in upcoming films, because sometimes believe it or not, you can be credited in smaller budget films by generous directors. It all depends, really. However, mainstream films don't get made in Edinburgh very often, but when they do, it's a blast. Although you also have to be aware that unlike indie films, extras will never be credited in major movies just for being walking wallpaper. And like I said, major movies happening in my town is very sporadic. This leaves just short films, and despite the low budget, they can be rather good. Last year for example, I got to be a zombie in a new feature film called 'Redcon-1' when they shot in a mine next to the museum in Newtongrange. Therein lies the problem.

    There is a Facebook group called Intense Extras, and I was friends with a woman who is an extra, but I do not know her beyond the Internet. We just got talking due to this film, and normally extras send other extras friend requests. She had a fight with a PA or something to do with a ticket to an event, so this other woman had some English friends at the shoot last year. It was shot on 31 May and 1 June, but I only went on the first day as I was too tired to go back the next day, so I slept in. Anyway, there was just one of the main cast members there (a man named Mark Strange who has a ripped body: see markstrange.com) and the rest were just people playing zombies covered in fake blood. Well, I briefly mentioned to this guy named Joe that his friend (the zombies wrangler or PA) that my online friend had a conflict with her. He then at one point went away to make a phone call. Then on Facebook, he insisted I don't credit him in the film, after I told him I could add people if they wanted a credit.

    Anyhow, I asked this lady to reinstate my friend, and she removed me, making out I was pestering people. At some point, I had people cut and paste things she was saying about me on a page I was unable to access, basically trying to get people turning against me, and it worked. There was also a make-up lady trying to say I was calling her private number, but I only called her once, and she even had a post saying if extras needed to know anything, they could call her. So it seems she was just being obnoxious.

    Anonymous editors also went on the movie's IMDb page and kept taken my credit off. People basically registered and added themselves on the template, hoping to be credited, but whoever was doing this with my contribution was doing it just to be spiteful. When I complained about my IMDb credits being tampered with on the Get Satisfaction IMDb support message boards, they at first seemed more concerned about me actually verifying I was in the film, but I had to then explain what had gone on several times, so once they sensed I was upset and not going to upgrade to be a full paying member, they assured me they would keep an eye on the situation. Also, because I had no other credits besides uncredited roles, by removing my only credited role, it automatically removed my uncredited stuff, as IMDb has a policy that uncredited work may only be added if you have at least one on-screen credit in at least one TV show, film, or whatever. So it was pretty annoying.

    I mentioned these issues to a random actress on Twitter once. Before this tweet was posted to her feed, she was OK towards me, although I don't know her personally either. Seems like one big clique. Well, she blocked me. Because this sort of stuff easily upsets me, I went back on spewing things, and her followers ganged up on me (which is normally the case with immature users of public sites). One person sent me a message on Facebook saying I was 'nobody special' (probably in reference to the fact I am an unknown).

    At one point, I was checking out one of the film makers groups on Facebook, and a guy posted an ad about needing extras, and I am a member for this purpose. He said he needed 55 and people would get credited. However, after leaving just a single comment, I was blocked. So since I was blocked, I made a new account to check his followers and the actress was there. Due to ongoing legal stuff, I was ordered not to use social media, so that actress reporting me resulted in a breach of my supervision orders. I'd been required to check in with a "watchdog" at a social work center.

    The less he knows, the better. One time, I explained to him that I told my female dentist of the hassle I got, and he assumed I had a fancy for her too and he ended up calling up the NHS to get her work location. He also tries to use social services appointed helpers as 'stool pigeons' to monitor me, so I feel like I cannot do much, or I'm pegged. I mean. I have nothing to hide, but my aides were supposed to help me, and he is not their minder. I'm just not one for sharing my life and day to day habits with people like him. When I had some male helpers last year, I soon gave them up because they had fixed hours, so there was no use for them.

    But to be honest, I may have to give up on pursuing acting, as it is a very hard profession. I'm pretty much going to have to accept that the help isn't coming. Even an actor on Facebook said sites like StarNow and all that attract shallow people, and maybe I should just try amateur drama where people genuinely care about other actors. I'm hoping to get a part as an extra in 'The Avengers: Infinity War' soon, but I am too anxious going to a crowded movie set all alone.

    What can I do now? My mother says I should not talk about certain private stuff on the Internet. It seems word goes far in these online communities. After all the times I got screwed over by people, I just want a damn break now.
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    Honestly it sounds like you're not managing your communication very well and coming across the wrong way - as harassing or otherwise bothering people. I don't know the details and I guess you aren't going it on purpose but on those sorts of communities people will talk to each other and if you've been labelled as 'hard work'/'difficult' then you'll struggle to get people to help you. It is probably worth taking some time out from these sites and perhaps working with the person you check in with to learn some good boundaries for behaviour/communication so that whatever you do next the same situations don't keep popping up.
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    What about finding new support?
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    (Original post by Pedro14)
    What about finding new support?
    I don't know enough about the intricacies of social care to know the best way of you getting some support.
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    Ah. OK. I just wondered. I'm still looking into that befriending service.
 
 
 
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