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I'm 17 and I've never been out with a girl, kissed, held hands or had a girlfriend Watch

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    I turned 17 yesterday and I realised have never had a girlfriend, kissed or been kissed or cuddled a girl before. I'm quite overweight (have been my whole life and the doctors are saying it could be genetics/hormonal problems) and I have Aspergers. More and more people are becoming couples at my school and even the girl I've been best friends with and kinda had a crush on has been out/kissed a boy (even if it was 10 years ago). I sometimes feel like my hormones are going haywire as I seem to find a lot of girls, most who have a boyfriend, attractive and I'm hoping this will calm down soon. I'm not the type of person who likes to go out late, partying, drinking, etc. But I am someone who's very shy but I have good hobbies (cooking, reading, going for walks) and I care a lot more about the personality and soul of a person rather than appearance. I like to go out to friends, play videogames (Pokemon) together for an hour in the day but this is about once every two months. And I'm one of those people who doesn't stay out late compared to everyone else and actually likes to be at home. Could these be the reason why I have never had a girlfriend? Also, I've been thinking that when I go to Uni, I could meet someone there so what would be the chances of this? Thanks
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    I've been 17 for a few months and hadn't done any of that till super recently. And I would say... it's a little overrated and not worth the hormonal hype? But that's me lol. Right now, you probs have so much other stuff to focus on - I'm finding that I'm just not ready for relationships. I'd say you'll definitely find someone at Uni because people are so much more open about themselves and their hobbies.
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    Hi, I think the main reason would be that you're "very shy". Lots of girls look for guys that avoid drama (keep to themselves), have hobbies rather than just doing nothing and don't stay out late into the night. I for one, do. But that's because I'm like that myself, and I'm also very shy.
    Back to the point of being shy; this would be a big factor when it comes to relationships. If you're shy, it's less likely that you'd approach a girl with the main intention being that you want to start a relationship with her. This could be a problem as a lot of girls prefer the boy to approach them, rather than them approach the boy. If you can't do that, then it'll be a barrier stopping you from even starting a friendship with a crush. I guess, the less shy you are, the more you'll be "seen" or given any attention (by girls especially).
    I'm definitely sure you'll develop lots of friendships in uni, some even progressing into the relationship stage! These may be people in your classes, your accommodation (if you decide to live on campus) or anywhere else in the university, you never know.

    Just don't put yourself down about it. I'm quite sure that you possess qualities that a ton of girls look for in a guy! It's all about confidence and being able to approach other people with ease, (even though I find that difficult, it's easier said than done).
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    (Original post by MissIntrov)
    Hi, I think the main reason would be that you're "very shy". Lots of girls look for guys that avoid drama (keep to themselves), have hobbies rather than just doing nothing and don't stay out late into the night. I for one, do. But that's because I'm like that myself, and I'm also very shy.
    Back to the point of being shy; this would be a big factor when it comes to relationships. If you're shy, it's less likely that you'd approach a girl with the main intention being that you want to start a relationship with her. This could be a problem as a lot of girls prefer the boy to approach them, rather than them approach the boy. If you can't do that, then it'll be a barrier stopping you from even starting a friendship with a crush. I guess, the less shy you are, the more you'll be "seen" or given any attention (by girls especially).
    I'm definitely sure you'll develop lots of friendships in uni, some even progressing into the relationship stage! These may be people in your classes, your accommodation (if you decide to live on campus) or anywhere else in the university, you never know.

    Just don't put yourself down about it. I'm quite sure that you possess qualities that a ton of girls look for in a guy! It's all about confidence and being able to approach other people with ease, (even though I find that difficult, it's easier said than done).
    Thank you! I've been shy for my whole life, not even being able to say the teacher's name during registration in Primary. I'm hoping that as I grow older, I'll become less shy and hopefully, I'll eventually find someone to start a relationship with
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    I dont think this should really worry you, you still have your whole life infront of you to mess around with girls lol. You are only feeling this way because you see people around you with girlfriends and stuff; the most important thing is to never compare yourself with others. Your time will come
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    At 17, you have nothing to be worried about.
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    (Original post by DanF2000)
    I turned 17 yesterday and I realised have never had a girlfriend, kissed or been kissed or cuddled a girl before. I'm quite overweight (have been my whole life and the doctors are saying it could be genetics/hormonal problems) and I have Aspergers. More and more people are becoming couples at my school and even the girl I've been best friends with and kinda had a crush on has been out/kissed a boy (even if it was 10 years ago). I sometimes feel like my hormones are going haywire as I seem to find a lot of girls, most who have a boyfriend, attractive and I'm hoping this will calm down soon. I'm not the type of person who likes to go out late, partying, drinking, etc. But I am someone who's very shy but I have good hobbies (cooking, reading, going for walks) and I care a lot more about the personality and soul of a person rather than appearance. I like to go out to friends, play videogames (Pokemon) together for an hour in the day but this is about once every two months. And I'm one of those people who doesn't stay out late compared to everyone else and actually likes to be at home. Could these be the reason why I have never had a girlfriend? Also, I've been thinking that when I go to Uni, I could meet someone there so what would be the chances of this? Thanks
    You seem like a really nice person, and the girls at your school don't know what they're missing!
    I'm 15 (year 11) and all my friends have kissed someone/ have a boyfriend or have even had sex... and I'm the same as you! Never even held hands with someone lol
    My friends don't tease me for it, do yours?
    I don't know why but I've never felt 'attracted' to anyone I've met yet, and don't want to waste my first kiss on someone I dont think is special (I know I must sound so old fashioned!)
    People come up to me on the street and ask me for my number and invite me out for coffee or drinks regularly (even men clearly over 18 eughh) but I've always declined.
    So don't worry! I know I'm a bit younger than you, but I promise you are not the only person
    Don't feel pressured into rushing into something which should be really special to you because everybody else has done it.
    In fact, I think girls (especially older ones like at uni) will really appreciate your sensitivity over boys that just 'do it for the sake of doing it' and you will have much more powerful connections with them, than the others, in the future!
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    Get to a gym and start lifting. It will help your confidence out big time. That might give you an incentive to approach or interact more with girls.
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    Lift weights and talk to girls, do both at the same time and you'll make mad gainz
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    (Original post by Et Tu, Brute?)
    Get to a gym and start lifting. It will help your confidence out big time. That might give you an incentive to approach or interact more with girls.
    Do some guys use the gym to meet girls? I know it's not what you were saying in your post but I've always wondered lol
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    I didn't get a proper girlfriend till I was 19. Don't think it matters when you do it lol.


    (Original post by koala789)
    Do some guys use the gym to meet girls? I know it's not what you were saying in your post but I've always wondered lol
    Unless you're hot and the girls at the gym are blatantly staring I don't think it's a good place to meet girls. People go there to work out and don't want to be bothered. (I do anyway lol. I'd imagine its the same for others).
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    (Original post by koala789)
    Do some guys use the gym to meet girls? I know it's not what you were saying in your post but I've always wondered lol
    Some guys do do that lol but in general everyone is doing there own thing to get fit as possible.

    If you go gym consistantly and eat well you would look alot slimmer etc and people around you do tend to notice. It can really boost your confidence imo.
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    (Original post by DanF2000)
    I turned 17 yesterday and I realised have never had a girlfriend, kissed or been kissed or cuddled a girl before. I'm quite overweight (have been my whole life and the doctors are saying it could be genetics/hormonal problems) and I have Aspergers. More and more people are becoming couples at my school and even the girl I've been best friends with and kinda had a crush on has been out/kissed a boy (even if it was 10 years ago). I sometimes feel like my hormones are going haywire as I seem to find a lot of girls, most who have a boyfriend, attractive and I'm hoping this will calm down soon. I'm not the type of person who likes to go out late, partying, drinking, etc. But I am someone who's very shy but I have good hobbies (cooking, reading, going for walks) and I care a lot more about the personality and soul of a person rather than appearance. I like to go out to friends, play videogames (Pokemon) together for an hour in the day but this is about once every two months. And I'm one of those people who doesn't stay out late compared to everyone else and actually likes to be at home. Could these be the reason why I have never had a girlfriend? Also, I've been thinking that when I go to Uni, I could meet someone there so what would be the chances of this? Thanks
    There isn't anything that's wrong with you, if that's what you're thinking. But you need to face reality, if you want to increase ur chances of getting any girl, you'll have to lose weight. Sure there are those out there who won't care about what weight you are, but the majority of them will. This way you'll get more self confidence within yourself too, it's not gonna be easy but it will definitely be worth it


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    I was the same when i was 17, it's nothing to be ashamed about
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    (Original post by koala789)
    Do some guys use the gym to meet girls? I know it's not what you were saying in your post but I've always wondered lol
    I doubt anyone specifically uses the gym to meet girls, I mean if you wanted to meet someone you've got tinder etc at your fingertips, why just go to the gym and put yourself through having to workout, all for the faint possibility there might be an attractive girl there who will be keen for interaction.

    As chickenmaddness said, most people will go there just to work out but some guys will approach girls if the right signals are picked up. However you'll need zyzz-stetics to get those signals. Most girls will want to just work out really.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBvHbnhl3M8
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    I know how you feel, and my advice would be do not worry yourself about it! All my close friends are in relationships and it made me feel really lonely and bad about myself because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I've just turned 17 and only just had my first kiss, I didn't start getting any attention really until September. I would just say try to focus on something else, it's nice when it happens but I think its overrated and not all its cracked up to be. I know for definite it will happen when the time is right- I'm not just saying this I felt like it would never happen. Anyway, at this age its just great to focus on having loads of really great friends both boys and girls, I know its cliche. Just try not to worry, you will realise that you have nothing to worry about and most people are in the same position as you. Hope this helps!
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    I wouldn't worry about it mate I'm 19 and in a similar situation to you mainly because I'm a fairly ugly **** and I often struggle with understanding social situations and cues. Chances are though mate your gonna be fine as almost everyone finds someone eventually. Trick is try not to worry about it and stop comparing your situation to those of people around u.
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    The worst situation is to be like myself, I went to Uni at 25 in the same situation and 3 years later am in exactly the same situation.
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    Thanks everyone. I guess I just feel a bit left out among most of my friends as some people I know have been out with different people since Primary school compared with me. I know I've got 3/4 of my life ahead of me so hopefully, I'll find someone who will be right for me
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    You are only 17, chill out plenty of time to find someone.
 
 
 
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